Did You Know?

A human Body Fact:
About Pain

The time at which a human embryo's tiny heart begins to beat regularly is at the end of the fourth week of development.

(Complete Pregnancy & Baby Book)

(American Heart Association)

(American Heart Association)

One American dies of cardiovascular disease every 33 seconds. 

(American Heart Association)

A cheerful heart is good medicine,
but a crushed spirit dries up the bones.
Proverbs 17:22 (NIV)

"What sunshine is to flowers, smiles are to humanity. These are but trifles, to be sure; but, scattered along life's pathway, the good they do is inconceivable."

Joseph Addison

Shall We Chant

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The teacher was beginning his Chant 101 class. He greeted his new initiates by chanting "Good morn - ing."

The class repeated, "Good morning," except the teacher thought he heard someone singing "Good evening."

Just to be sure, he chanted, "Good morn - ing." Sure enough, from somewhere amidst all the "Good morning" responses, he heard the word "evening" being chanted.

Frustrated, he sang back to the class....."Someone chanted evening."

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911

A woman called her doctor in a panic. Her son had swallowed a penny and she wanted to know if she should bring the boy in to be seen. "I don't think it's necessary," the doctor calmly replied. "Just watch him closely for any change."

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The Stranger

A tall weather-worn cowboy rode into town. The residents quietly observed the drifter through half-closed eyelids. No one spoke, but they all noticed that the stranger's hat was made of brown wrapping paper. They soon observed that his shirt and vest were also made of paper; as were his chaps, pants, and even his boots, including the paper spurs. Truth be told, even the saddle, blanket, and bridle on his horse were made entirely of paper. He was soon arrested for rustling.

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The Field Trip

" A group of kindergarten children were on a class outing to their local police station where they saw pictures, tacked to a bulletin board, of the 10 most wanted men. One of the youngsters pointed to a picture and asked if it really was the photo of a wanted person. "Yes," answered the policeman.

"Well," wondered the child, "why didn't you keep him when you took his picture?"

ZONDERVAN Time To Smile

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Painting Purchases

The artist asked the gallery owner if there had been any interest in his paintings on display.

"I have good news and I have bad news," replied the owner. "The good news is that a gentleman inquired about your work and wondered if it would appreciate in value after your death. When I told him it would, he bought all 15 of your paintings."

"That's wonderful!," the artist exclaimed. "What's the bad news?"

"The guy was your doctor..."

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Hard To Replace?

After years of being blasted into a net, the human cannonball went to the circus owner and told him he was going to retire.

"But you can't!" shouted the cigar-chomping boss. "Where am I going to find a man of your caliber?"

Well, as it turned out, the human cannonball who replaced him was hired and fired the same night.

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George W. Meets Moses

George W. Bush, in an airport lobby, noticed a man in a long flowing white robe with a long flowing white beard and flowing white hair. The man had a staff in one hand and some stone tablets under the other arm.

George W. approached the man and inquired, "Aren't you Moses."

The man ignored George W. and stared at the ceiling.

George W. positioned himself more directly in the man's view and asked again, "Aren't you Moses".

The man continued to peruse the ceiling.

George W. tugged at the man's sleeve and asked once again, "Aren't you Moses".

The man finally responded in an irritated voice, "Yes I am".

George W. asked him why he was so uppity and the man replied, "The last time I spoke to a Bush I had to spend forty years in the desert".

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ACRONYMS

The interviewer examined the job application then turned to the prospective employee. "I see you have put ASAP down for the date you are available to start, meaning as soon as possible, of course.

However, I see you've put AMAP down for required salary. I don't believe I've ever seen that before, what does it mean?"

The applicant replied, "As Much as Possible!"

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TRUE FACT ...

Humans begin laughing at two to three months of age. Six year olds laugh about 300 times per day, while adults laugh from 15 to 100 times per day.

SOURCE: NYT, Dr. William F. Fry, Stanford University

Daily Miscellany Comics

Phillip Bower