The Photographer
A photographer from a well know national magazine was assigned to cover
the fires at Yellowstone National Park. The magazine wanted to show some of the heroic
work of the fire fighters as they battled the blaze.
When the photographer arrived, he realized that the smoke was so thick that it would
seriously impede or make it impossible for him to photograph anything from ground level.
He requested permission to rent a plane and take photos from the air. His request was
approved and arrangements were made. He was told to report to a nearby airport where a
plane would be waiting for him.
He arrived at the airport and saw a plane warming up near the gate. He jumped in with his
bag and shouted, "Let's go!" The pilot swung the little plane into the wind, and
within minutes they were in the air.
The photographer said, "Fly over the park and make two or three low passes so I can
take some pictures."
"Why?" asked the pilot. "Because I am a photographer," he responded,
"and photographers take photographs."
The pilot was silent for a moment; finally he stammered, "You mean you're not the
flight instructor?"
The Winner Is
A man goes home and says to his wife, "Pack your bags, I just won the
lottery!"
She says: "Should I pack for the beach or for the mountains?"
He says: "I don't care - just get out!"
TRUE Court
transcripts:
The following are actual statements made
during court cases:
Judge: I know you, don't I?
Defendant: Uh, yes.
Judge: All right, tell me, how do I know you?
Defendant: Judge, do I have to tell you?
Judge: Of course, you might be obstructing justice not to tell me.
Defendant: Okay. I was your bookie.
From a defendant representing himself...
Defendant: Did you get a good look at me when I stole your purse?
Victim: Yes, I saw you clearly. You are the one who stole my purse.
Defendant: I should have shot you while I had the chance.
Judge: The charge here is theft of frozen chickens. Are you the defendant?
Defendant: No, sir, I'm the guy who stole the chickens.
Lawyer: How do you feel about defense attorneys?
Juror: I think they should all be drowned at birth.
Lawyer: Well, then, you are obviously biased for the prosecution.
Juror: That's not true. I think prosecutors should be drowned at birth too.
It's easy to find out who is going to become a tax collector. In the
nursery, give all the kids lemons. The one who squeezes it dry is going to work for the
IRS.
And
God said, "Let the waters swarm with fish and other life. Let the skies be filled
with birds of every kind." So God created great sea creatures and every sort of fish
and every kind of bird. And God saw that it was good.
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