ALL THE REST –    April 26
  

 

Today's Quotations – Last Words

 

quote

I don't know. I don't know!

–  Pierce Abelard
French theologian famous for his love affair with Heloise 1142

quote

Do not grieve, my friend–my dearest friend. I am ready to go, and John it will not be long.

 Abigale Adams
Wife of the second US president 1818

 
quote

In spite of it all, I am going to sleep.

Thomas B. Aldrich
Poet and novelist 1907

quote

How were the circus receipts tonight at Madison Square Garden?

–  Phineas T. Barnum
Impresario and showman 1891

 

quote

Now comes the mystery.

–  Henry Ward Beecher
Congregationalist preacher 1887

 

Today's Short Words of  Wisdom



Everyone is a moon, and has a dark side which he never shows to anybody.

Mark Twain

 

word puzzle
  Today's Word – MAGUS 
   

 



ma·gus noun. ma·gi. 1. A member of the Zoroastrian priestly caste of the Medes and Persians. 2. Magus. One of the three wise men from the East who traveled to Bethlehem to pay homage to the infant Jesus. 3. A sorcerer; a magician.

Behind her was a dark doorway suggesting an inner sanctum where a magus such as Gus Grodin might lurk until summoned by some rogue or another wanting to buy or sell the Hope Diamond, the Ark of the Covenant, or the Crown of Charlemagne.

The Hofburg Treasures
Stephen Adams


Definitions from American Heritage Dictionary

 

Today's Fact

 

 

Bowerbirds
 

IIt ain't easy to attract the mate you want. OK now, how do I look? How about the house? Perhaps it could use a few sticks here or there.  

 

 

misc2bnr.gif (24344 bytes)

The Bowerbird is the common name for several birds of the bowerbird family. These birds are from the Ptilonorhynchidae family. They are found in New Guinea and Australia. Bowerbirds are most noted for their courtship practices. There are 19 species of bowerbirds, each having their own unique, complex courtship display.

The males live apart from the female birds for most of the year. During the breeding season the males gather together to compete for female mates. Each male bird will clear an area of the forest floor, creating a "court" to which he tries to attract females. The male will decorate this "court" with displays of inanimate objects to impress his mate. The items may be shells, flowers, brightly colored berries, or even man-made objects such as pieces of glass.

Some males will even build various structures, or "bowers," to attract a mate. Some species will construct "maypoles" of sticks around a tree trunk. Then they will decorate these sticks with lichens and flowers. The gardener bowerbird is about 10 inches in height. The male of this species will build a tepeelike structure as much as 63 inches across, with a low entranceway in front of which is a "garden" of bright objects and flowers that are regularly replaced as soon as they fade. The male satin bowerbird is common in parts of Australia. It is a silky, blue-black bird, about 7.8 inches long, with bright blue eyes. He will build a stick mat. Down the middle of this mat he places two walls of vertical sticks that may reach 16 inches high. He then displays one of the rare known instances of birds using a tool. He mixes a blue or green fruit juice with his saliva and "paints" this on the bower with a wad of bark. This is done in hopes to entice the grayish-green female into the painted bower to mate. Other species of the Ptilonorhynchidae family also have elaborate method of attracting their mates.

Source: Microsoft(R) Encarta(R) 96 Encyclopedia


And God said, "Let the waters swarm with fish and other life. Let the skies be filled with birds of every kind." So God created great sea creatures and every sort of fish and every kind of bird. And God saw that it was good.

Genesis 1:20-21 (NLT)



 

 

clown
Today's SMILE

 

A cheerful heart is good medicine,
but a crushed spirit dries up the bones.
Proverbs 17:22 (NIV)

 
   

 

 

"What sunshine is to flowers, smiles are to humanity. These are but trifles, to be sure; but, scattered along life's pathway, the good they do is inconceivable."

Joseph Addison

 

A FEW SMILES   


What's in a Title

One day a man called the church office. He said, "Can I speak to the head hog at the trough?"


The secretary thought she heard what he said, but said, "I'm sorry, who?"


The man said, "Can I speak to the head hog at the trough?"


She said, "Well, if you mean the pastor, then you may refer to him as
'Pastor,' or 'Brother,' but you may certainly not refer to him as the 'head hog at the trough!"


To this the man replied, "Well, I was planning on giving $10,000 to the
building fund..."


To this the secretary quickly responded "hang on, the big fat pig just walked in."


Pass the Plate

A six-year-old girl insisted that as a new first grader, she should be allowed to take part in the offering and put something in the offering plate during the worship service of her Church. Mom and Dad agreed
wholeheartedly. Dad even gave her a dollar and explained that God loves a cheerful giver.


When the usher stopped beside the little girl and held out the offering plate, the little girl's voice rang out in protest, "Hey, Mister! Don't you have change for a dollar?"


Her very embarrassed father leaned down and whispered something in her ear. The whole congregation heard her reply: "But, Daddy, I'd be a cheerful-er giver if I could give SOME to the Lord and buy a candy bar, too!"


CAT HEAVEN

One day a cat dies of natural causes and goes to heaven. There he meets the Lord Himself. The Lord says to the cat "you lived a good life and if there is any way I can make your stay in Heaven more comfortable, please let Me know".

The cat thinks for a moment and says "Lord, all my life I have lived with a poor family and had to sleep on a hard wooden floor."

The Lord stops the cat and says "say no more" and a wonderful fluffy pillow appears.

A few days later 6 mice are killed in a tragic farming accident and go to heaven. Again there is the Lord there to great them with the same offer. The mice answer "All of our lives we have been chased. We have had to run from cats, dogs and even women with brooms. Running, running, running; we're tired of running. Do you think we could have roller skates so we don't have to run anymore?"

The Lord says "say no more" and fits each mouse with beautiful new roller skates.

About a week later the Lord stops by to see the cat and finds him snoozing on the pillow. The Lord gently wakes the cat and asks him "How are things since you are here?"

The cat stretches and yawns and replies "It is wonderful here. Better than I could have ever expected. And those 'Meals On Wheels' you've been sending by are theeeeeeeee best!!!"




I can't dial 9-11. There's no 11 on my phone.

 


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Phillip Bower

 

Soul Food - devotions, Bible verse and inspiration.

Soul Food April 26

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Today in History April 26

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Copyright Information: Phillip Bower is not the author of the humor, and does not claim to own any copyright privileges to the jokes. Sources of jokes are listed when known. Birthday's and Happenings for the date, and quotations are public knowledge and collected from numerous sources. Quotations are public knowledge and sources are listed when known. Weekendspirations are written by Tim Knappenberger who has copyright privileges. Cathy Vinson authors Whispers from the Wilderness and owns copyright privileges. Weekendspirations and Whispers from the Wilderness are used with permission by the respective authors. Other devotions are written by Phillip Bower unless otherwise stated. In all cases credit is given when known. The Daily Miscellany is nonprofit. Submissions by readers is welcome.