Sam and Harry

Sam, the old geezer, complained to his wife, "I am lucky to still be able to walk around the course and hit the golf ball, but what good is it when I can't see where the ball went?"

His wife said, "You just need to find someone to go out there with you and watch the ball."

Sam thought that was a great idea, and his friend Harry would be just the guy to invite. He was always bragging about still having good eyesight. So that's how they found themselves at the first tee one sunny day. Sam hit the ball plenty hard, and he could hardly wait to find out where it went. "Did you see where the ball went, Harry?"

"Yep."

"Well, where did it go."

"...I can't remember."

from Kasha Linka KashaL@concentric.net

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One day, a teacher, a garbage collector, and a lawyer all die and go to Heaven. St. Peter's there and was having a bad day since heaven was getting crowded When they get to the gate, St. Peter informed them that there will be a test to get into Heaven: they each will have to answer a single question.

To the teacher, he says, "What was the name of the ship that crashed into the iceberg and sunk with all its passengers?"

The teacher thinks for a sec, and then replies:" That would have been the Titanic, right?". St. Peter lets him through the gate.

St. Peter turns to the Garbage man, and, figuring that Heaven doesn't REALLY need all the stink that this guy would bring into heaven, decides to make the question a little harder: "How many people died on the ship?"

The garbage man guesses: "1228" "That happens to be right; go ahead."

St. Peter turns to the Lawyer: "Name them."

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The middle-aged man was visibly shaken when his Doctor advised that he had only 6 month's to live because of the terminal disease that was detected during a recent physical check-up. The Doctor suggested that he should get his "house in order", make sure his will was current and ensure all final arrangements were in place for the funeral. He should then make plans to enjoy what might be left of his life, to the fullest.

"What will you do for the last six months?" asked the Doctor.

His patient thought for a few minutes then replied, "I think I'll go and live with my mother-in-law".

Surprised by the answer, the doctor asked, "Of all people, why in the would you want to live with your mother-in-law?"

"Because it'll be the longest six months of my Life!"

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The Cynic A man was walking across the road when he met the accident. The impact was on his head which caused him to be comatosed for two days before he finally regained consciousness. When open his eyes, his wife was there beside him. He held her hands and said meaningfully : "You have always been beside me. When I was a struggling university student, I failed again and again. And sometimes, even my re-papers as well. You were always there beside me, encouraging me to go on trying.." She squeezed his hands as he continued :"When I went for all the major interviews and failed to clinch any of the jobs, you were there beside me, cutting out more adverts for me to apply..." He continued "Then I started work at this little firm and finally got to handle a big contract. I blew it because of one little mistake. And you were there beside me."

Then I finally got another job after being laid off for sometime.

But I never seem to be promoted and my hard work was not recognized.

As such, I remained in the same position from the day I joined the company till now... And you were there beside me"

Her eyes brimmed with tears as she listened to her husband :"And now I met an accident and when I woke up, you are here beside me.... ....There's something I'll really like to say to you..."

She flung herself on the bed to hug her husband, sobbing with emotion.

He said..., "You know, I think you really bring me bad luck.."

(Shared by Antonio Oliveros Fernandez via HUMOR Digest)

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