ALL THE REST –    May 9
  

 

Today's Quotations – More Last Words

 

quote

I were miserable if I might not die. Thy Kingdom come, Thy Will be done.

–   John Donne
British poet and clergyman (1631)

quote

Waiting are they, waiting are they? Well, let 'em wait!

– Ethan Allen
American Revolutionary officer, on being told that the angels were waiting for him. (1789)

 

  
quote

 I am not in the least afraid to die.

– Charles Darwin
(1882)
quote

Tell me, Gene, is it true that you're the illegitimate son of Buffalo Bill?.

–  John Barrymore

 
quote

Death itself isn't dreadful, but hanging seems an awkward way of entering the adventure.

–  Gerald Chapman
Conman, murderer. Executed for murdering a policeman. (1926)

 

Today's Short Words of  Wisdom



I never had a policy; I have just tried to do my very best each and every day. 

Abraham Lincoln 

 

word puzzle
  Today's Word – ERUDITE 
   

 


 gauche adjective Lacking social polish; tactless.  Synonym  awkward. [French, awkward, lefthanded, from Old French, from gauchir, to turn aside, walk clumsily, of Germanic origin.]

Fortunately they were directed to a private table in a little alcove where he could stash his bag without appearing gauche.

Left Behind
Tim LaHaye and Jerry B. Jenkins

Definitions from American Heritage Dictionary

 

Today's Fact

 May is frog Month on the Daily Miscellany - I hope you enjoy these facts about amphibians. God is a marvelous architect and his sense of humor and creativity is expressed in these interesting creations.

firebg.jpg (2091 bytes)

Amphibians and FROGS
frogs.wmf (17124 bytes)  

Frog1.gif (16488 bytes)Frogs and Toads


Frogs 2 (Senses)

Frogs are primarily visually oriented animals. Their eyes are large and protrude from their sockets giving the frog a broad visual area. The eyes can be retracted into their sockets to bulge against the roof of the mouth and assist in swallowing. some frogs also have a pineal organ that may be detected as a pale spot atop their head. This organ reacts to light and may be involved in sun-compass orientation.

The keen vision of a frog is essential in the location of food. It is strange to discover that, in fact, most frogs are really quite farsighted. They can actually see objects quite well at a distance of 40 to 50 feet. They cannot, however, see objects well that are directly beneath their nose.

The eyes of frogs are often the frog's most striking feature. The colorful iris of the frog is often quite striking. They vary from metallic gold, silver, bronze and copper hues of the 'regular frogs', to the vivid red, orange, yellow, blue and creamy white of tree frogs. Not all frogs sport a brightly colored iris. Some are dull brown and black, while some pick up patterns of the face to help the eye blend in with the head.

The shape of the frog's iris is also quit variable. In most frogs the pupil is horizontal and expand and shrinks in size to compensate for the amount of available light. Nearly all of the frogs in the United States have horizontal pupils. Vertical pupils are found in a few North American frogs and are also quite common in the tree frogs of Central and South America. Pupils of other shapes are sometimes found. The tomato frogs have round pupils. Triangular or heart shaped pupils are found in fire bellied toads. The African sand toad has pupils shaped like an hourglass. Diamond shaped pupils are found in the Asiatic horned frog and Bruno's bony-headed frog of Brazil.

All frogs are attracted to lights. This, in part, may be because their favorite meal of insects are also attracted to lights. Although many frogs are themselves brightly colored and some have brightly colored eyes, there is little evidence that they have color vision. Studies in the 1960's by W.R.A. Muntz indicated that frogs have a preference for blue lights. These same studies demonstrated that frogs could distinguish the color blue. It was theorized that the sensitivity to blue in the frog is to direct the jump of a frightened frog in such a way as to jump in the water to avoid its predators.

Sources for the Amphibian - Frog series include:

Encyclopedia of Reptiles and Amphibians - Editors: Dr. Harold G. Cogger, Dr. Richard G,.Zweifel, Academid Press
Frogs - Text: David Badger, Photography: JohnNetherton; Voyageur Press
Groliers Encyclopedia
Microsoft(R) Encarta(R)
Encyclopedia Britanica

Let every created thing give praise to the Lord,
for he issued his command, and they came into being.
Psalm 148:5 (NLT)

 

 

clown
Today's SMILE

 

A cheerful heart is good medicine,
but a crushed spirit dries up the bones.
Proverbs 17:22 (NIV)

  
   

 

 

"What sunshine is to flowers, smiles are to humanity. These are but trifles, to be sure; but, scattered along life's pathway, the good they do is inconceivable."

Joseph Addison

 

A FEW SMILES   

Real Talent

smile10.gif (11018 bytes)A mangy looking guy who goes into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender says: "No way. I don't think you can pay for it."

The guy says, "You're right. I don't have any money, but if I show you something you haven't seen before, will you give me a drink?"

The bartender says, "Only if what you show me ain't risque."

"Deal!" says the guy and reaches into his coat pocket and pulls out a hamster. He puts the hamster on the bar and it runs to the end of the bar, down the bar, across the room, up the piano, jumps on the key board and starts playing Gershwin songs. And the hamster is really good.

The bartender says, "You're right. I've never seen anything like that before. That hamster is truly good on the piano." The guy downs the drink and asks the bartender for another.

"Money or another miracle else no drink", says the bartender. The guy reaches into his coat again and pulls out a frog. He puts the frog on the bar, and the frog starts to sing. He has a marvelous voice and great pitch. A fine singer. A stranger from the other end of the bar runs over to the guy and offers him $300 for the frog.

The guy says "It's a deal." He takes the three hundred and gives the stranger the frog. The stranger runs out of the bar.

The bartender says to the guy "Are you some kind of nut? You sold a singing frog for $300? It must have been worth millions. You must be crazy."

"Not so", says the guy. "The hamster is also a ventriloquist."

Good News/Bad News

During a Papal audience, a business man approached the Pope and made this offer: Change the last line of the Lord's prayer from "give us this day our daily bread" to "give us this day our daily chicken." and KFC will donate 10 million dollars to Catholic charities. The Pope declined. 2 weeks later the man approached the Pope again. This time with a 50 million dollar offer. Again the Pope declined. A month later the man offers 100 million, this time the Pope accepts. At a meeting of the Cardinals, The Pope announces his decision in the good news/bad news format. The good news is... that we have 100 million dollars for charities. The bad news is that we lost the Wonder Bread account!    

Source:David A. Rinke II / Funny Pages Mailing List

Presidential Puppies

President Clinton is out jogging, and he encounters a man with some puppies. Clinton asks the man what kind of puppies they are, and the man responds, "They're Democrat puppies, Mr. President." Clinton thinks that is so great that the next day he brings the first lady to see these puppies for herself.

He asks the man to tell Hillary what kind of puppies they are, and the man responds, "They're Republican puppies."

The president looks puzzled and says, "Yesterday, you told me they were Democrat puppies."

The man smiles and says, "Yesterday, they were. But today, they have their eyes open!"

Why?

Why are seagulls called seagulls? Because if they flew over the bay, they'd be called bagels!

Could Be Trouble

A man who is driving a car is stopped by a police officer. The following exchange takes place....

The man says: "What's the problem officer?"

Officer: "You were going at least 75 in a 55 zone."

Man: "No sir, I was going 65."

Wife: "Oh, Harry. You were going 80." [Man gives his wife a dirty look.]

Officer: "I'm also going to give you a ticket for your broken taillight."

Man: "Broken tail light? I didn't know about a broken tail light!"

Wife: "Oh Harry, you've known about that tail light for weeks. "[Man gives his wife a dirty look.]

Officer: "I'm also going to give you a citation for not wearing your seat belt."

Man: "Oh, I just took it off when you were walking up to the car."

Wife: "Oh, Harry, you never wear your seat belt."

Man turns to his wife and yells: "Shut your mouth, woman!"

Officer turns to the woman and asks, "Ma'am, does your husband talk to you this way all the time?"

Wife says: "No, only when he's drunk."

I planted some bird seed.  
A bird grew. 
 Now I don't know what to feed it.

 


Daily Miscellany Comics

 

Have A Great Day

Phillip Bower

 

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Send Mail to pbower@neo.rr.com


Copyright Information: Phillip Bower is not the author of the humor, and does not claim to own any copyright privileges to the jokes. Sources of jokes are listed when known. Birthday's and Happenings for the date, and quotations are public knowledge and collected from numerous sources. Quotations are public knowledge and sources are listed when known. Weekendspirations are written by Tim Knappenberger who has copyright privileges. Cathy Vinson authors Whispers from the Wilderness and owns copyright privileges. Weekendspirations and Whispers from the Wilderness are used with permission by the respective authors. Other devotions are written by Phillip Bower unless otherwise stated. In all cases credit is given when known. The Daily Miscellany is nonprofit. Submissions by readers is welcome.