Grandma said
A little girl says, "Grandpa, can I sit on your lap?
"Why sure you can." her grandfather replied.
As she is sitting on grand dad's lap she says, "Grandpa, can you make a sound like a
frog?"
"A sound like a frog? Well, sure Grandpa can make a sound like a frog."
The girl says, "Grandpa, will you please please MAKE a sound like a frog?"
Perplexed, her granddad says, "Sweetheart, why do you want me to make a sound like a
frog?"
And the little girl says, "'Cause Grandma said that when you croak, we're going to
Florida!"
The Reliable Press
A reporter from the NY Times is taking his lunch break in Central Park
where he is watching two young men throw a football to each other, after a couple of
throws a very large Rottweiler dog attacks the smaller young man knocking the ball out of
his hands and knocking him to the ground. The other young man runs to a nearby picket
fence and pulls a plank off then starts to beat the dog to death saving his friends
"LIFE".
The reporter runs over and says"That was amazing, this story will make the front
page" then he says "I can see it know GIANTS FAN SAVES FRIEND FROM MAN-EATER on
the front page"
The young man says "But I'm not a Giants fan"
The reporter says " O.K.. BILLS FAN"
The young man says "I'm not a Bills fan either my team is Americas Team"
The reporter says "Americas Team?"
The young man replies " Yes the Dallas Cowboys"
The next day the young man asks his father to buy a paper so he can read about himself. He
opens the NY Times to read the front page, where it reads "REDNECK PUNK KILLS BELOVED
FAMILY PET"
From: Gary Tooze QotD
Cute Kid's Jokes :
Some Q and A's
1.Q: What's grey on the inside and pink and white on the outside?
A: An inside out elephant.
2.Q: What is grey and not there.
A: No elephants.
3.Q: Why are elephants large, grey and wrinkled?
A: Because if they were small, white and smooth they'd be aspirins.
4.Q: Why are elephants wrinkled?
A: Have you ever tried to iron one?
5.Q: Why do elephants wear small green hats?
A: So they can sneak across pool tables unobserved.
6.Q: How many legs does an elephant have?
A: Four, two in the front, two in the back.
7.Q: How do you know Tarzan is in the fridge?
A: You can hear Tarzan scream: "OYOYOYOIYOIYOOOOOO!!!"
8.Q: How do you get two Tarzans in the fridge?
A: You can't, silly, there is only one Tarzan!
9.Q: Why are there so many elephants running around free in the jungle?
A: Tarzans fridge is not large enough to hold them all.
10.Q: How many elephants can you actually put in a fridge?
A: Depends on the number of elephants.
11.Q. What do you call two elephants on a bicycle?
A. Optimistic!
12.Q. What do you get if you take an elephant into the city?
A. Free Parking.
13.Q. What do you get if you take an elephant into work?
A. Sole use of the elevator.
14.Q: How does an elephant get down from a tree?
A: It doesn't, you get down from a duck.
15.Q: How do you get an elephant out of a tree?
A: Stand it on a leaf and wait 'till autumn.
16.Q: What do you get when you cross an elephant with a kangaroo?
A: Bloody great holes all over Australia.
17.Q: How do you know if there is an elephant under the bed?
A: Your nose is touching the ceiling.
18.Q: Why do elephants wear sandals?
A: So that they don't sink in the sand.
19.Q: Why do ostriches stick their head in the ground?
A: To look for the elephants who forgot to wear their sandals.
20.Q: What did Hannibal say when he saw 1,000 elephants coming over the hill?
A: "Look, there's 1,000 elephants coming over the hill."
21.Q: What did he say when he saw 1,000 elephants with sunglasses on, coming
over the hill?
A: Nothing, he didn't recognize them.
22.Q: Why shouldn't you go into the woods at 5 o'clock?
A: Because that is when the elephants do their parachute jumping.
23.Q: What is a furry alligator?
A: A bear that went into the woods at 5 o'clock.
24.Q: Why do elephants paint the soles of their feet yellow?
A: So that they can hide upside-down in bowls of custard.
25.Q: Did you ever find an elephant in your custard?
A: No? Well, it must work then.
Harding was not a bad man. He was just a slob.
I'd rather be right than Roosevelt.
Many persons have difficulty remembering what President Franklin Pierce is best remembered
for, and he is therefore probably best forgotten.
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