ALL THE REST —  July 10
  

 

Today's Quotations – Laughter:

 


Man is the only animal that laughs and has a state legislature.

Samuel Butler



Laugh and the world laughs with you, snore and you sleep alone.

Anthony Burgess



God is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh.

Voltaire



Laugh at yourself first, before anyone else can.

Elsa Maxwell, September 28, 1958



Maturity is a bitter disappointment for which no remedy exists, unless laughter can be said to remedy anything.

   Kurt Vonnegut, Jr



A thing derided is a thing dead; a laughing man is stronger than a suffering man.

Gustave Flaubert



Unless a man or woman has experienced the darkness of the soul he or she can know nothing of that transforming laughter without which no hint of the ultimate reality of the opposites can be faintly intuited.

Helen Luke



It takes a big man to cry, but it takes a bigger man to laugh at that man.

Jack Handey



 

word puzzle
  Today's Word – SOBRIQUET
   

 


so·bri·quet
also sou·bri·quet -noun 1. An affectionate or humorous nickname. 2. An assumed name.


When I had come close enough to Jubal to distinguish his features I understood how it was that he had earned the sobriquet of Ugly One. Apparently some fearful beast had ripped away one entire side of his face. The eye was gone, the nose, and all the flesh, so that his jaws and all his teeth were exposed and grinning through the horrible scar.

At the Earth's Core
Edgar Rice Burroughs


No wonder that in France the sobriquet of the mysterious Englishman roused in the people a superstitious shudder.

The Scarlet Pimpernel
Baroness Orczy

Definition from American Heritage Dictionary

 

Today's Fact

 

insects

The Worker  Bees

 

The worker bees of the hive have numerous chores. They build, defend, and feed the hive. They also are the nursery brigade for the hive. The duties of the worker bees follow a certain sequence which is dependent on the age of the bee. At first all of the tasks of the adult worker are indoor tasks. These duties include: building additions to the hive, storing food, ventilating the hive by fanning with their wings, guarding the portals of the hive, and regulating the hive temperature through muscular activity. As she continues to age her duties take her outside of the hive.

The individual indoor tasks of the worker bee are also dependant upon the age of the bee. In an early stage of her life the duties of the worker include nursery duty. Nursery duty includes rearing and feeding of the larvae. God has prepared the worker bee for this all important task. During this stage of her life her pharyngeal glands begin to function. These glands produce the all important royal jelly. During the first two or three days of the larval stage of the honey bee, the royal jelly is fed to all castes of the hive. After two or three days, if the female larvae is to be reared as a worker, the diet will be changed to honey and pollen. The diet of the male larvae is also changed to honey and pollen. If a female larvae is to be reared as a queen it will continue to be fed royal jelly until the time of her pupation. It is interesting that there is no difference in the egg, larva, or environment that produces a queen bee. During the first few days of the larval stage all female larvae are the same. It is solely the diet that will determine if the larvae is to develop into a worker or a queen bee. The diet of royal jelly will cause the female to emerge from the larval stage as a queen.

For everything there is a time. Sometime later in the life of the worker bee the secretion of royal jelly will cease. The task of the worker will change as glands on the underside of her abdomen begin to secrete wax. The bee's wax is the comb building material of the hive. The required comb building of the hive is primarily performed by the workers in this secreting stage. As the worker ages her duties continue to change. During the last few weeks of her life she becomes a forager. She will search the meadows for floral food. Her range of foraging may extend to several miles.

Wednesday- Central America



Let every created thing give praise to the Lord,
for he issued his command, and they came into being.
Psalm 148:5 (NLT)

 

 

clown
Today's SMILE

 

   

A cheerful heart is good medicine,
but a crushed spirit dries up the bones.
Proverbs 17:22 (NIV)

 
   

 

 

"What sunshine is to flowers, smiles are to humanity. These are but trifles, to be sure; but, scattered along life's pathway, the good they do is inconceivable."

Joseph Addison

 

A FEW SMILES   

 

  An Amish boy and his father were visiting a mall. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny, silver walls that could move apart and back together again. The boy asked his father, "What is this, Father?" The father responded "Son, I have never seen anything like this in my life, I don't know what it is!"

While the boy and his father were watching wide-eyed an old lady in a wheel chair rolled up to the moving walls and pressed a button. The walls opened and the lady rolled between them into a small room. The walls closed and the boy and his father watched small circles of lights with numbers above the walls light up.

They continued to watch the circles light up in the reverse direction. The walls opened up again and a beautiful 24 year old woman stepped out.

Smiling, the father turned to his son and said, "Go get your Mother."

From Lorne Strang


Real Soccer Playing

It was a boring Sunday afternoon in the jungle, so the elephants decided to challenge the ants to a game of soccer. The game was going well with the elephants beating the ants 10-0, when the ants gained possession. 

The ants star player was dribbling the ball towards the elephants goal when the elephants' left back came lumbering towards him. The elephant stepped on the ant and killed him instantly. 

The referee stopped the game. "What do you think you're doing? Do you call that sportsmanship, killing another player?" 

"Well, I didn't mean to kill him," sniffed the distraught elephant, "I was just trying to trip him."


 

smileA tourist wanders into a back-alley antique shop in San Francisco's Chinatown. Picking through the objects on display he discovers a detailed, life-sized bronze sculpture of a rat. The sculpture is so interesting and unique that he picks it up and asks the shop owner what it costs.

"Twelve dollars for the rat, sir," says the shop owner, "and a thousand dollars more for the story behind it."

"You can keep the story, old man," he replies, "but I'll take the rat."

The transaction complete, the tourist leaves the store with the bronze rat under his arm. As he crosses the street in front of the store, two live rats emerge from a sewer drain and fall into step behind him. Nervously looking over his shoulder, he begins to walk faster, but every time he passes another sewer drain, more rats come out and follow him.

By the time he's walked two blocks, at least a hundred rats are at his heels , and people begin to point and shout. He walks even faster, and soon breaks into a trot as multitudes of rats swarm from sewers, basements, vacant lots, and abandoned cars. Rats by the thousands are at his heels, and as he sees the waterfront at the bottom of the hill, he panics and starts to run full tilt.

No matter how fast he runs, the rats keep up, squealing hideously, now not just thousands but millions, so that by the time he comes rushing up to the water's edge a trail of rats twelve city blocks long is behind him. Making a mighty leap, he jumps up onto a light post, grasping it with one arm while he hurls the bronze rat into San Francisco Bay with the other, as far as he can heave it. Pulling his legs up and clinging to the light post, he watches in amazement as the seething tide of rats surges over the breakwater into the sea, where they drown.

Shaken and mumbling, he makes his way back to the antique shop.

"Ah, so you've come back for the rest of the story," says the owner.

"No," says the tourist, "but I was wondering if you have any bronze lawyers! "

From Lorne Strang


In the city of Moscow, there lived a communist named Rudolph. One day the weather suddently turned terrible.

"Goodness", exclaimed his wife, "snow."

"No," said Rudolph,"it's rain!"

"I still stay it's snow," yelled the wife.

"Look,", he insisted,"Rudolph the Red knows rain, dear."


My Parents had not been out together in quite some time.

One Saturday, as Mom was finishing the dinner dishes, my father stepped up behind her. "Would you like to go out, girl?" he asked.

Not even turning around, my mother quickly replied, "Oh, yes, I'd love to!"

They had a wonderful evening, and it wasn't until the end of it that Dad confessed. His question had actually been directed to the family dog, lying near Mom's feet on the kitchen floor.

AdamsCathy@aol.com



Two women were comparing notes on the difficulties of running a small business.

"I started a new practice last year," the first one said. "I insist that each of my employees take at least a week off every three months."

"Why in the world would you do that?" the other asked.

She responded, "It's the best way I know of to learn which ones I can do without."

AdamsCathy@aol.com




TRUE FACT ...

Humans begin laughing at two to three months of age. Six year olds laugh about 300 times per day, while adults laugh from 15 to 100 times per day.

SOURCE: NYT, Dr. William F. Fry, Stanford University

 


Just because I have a short attention span doesn't mean I

 

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~ Make Your Reservation ~



Some years ago, a party of sight-seers were traveling together in England and arrived at an English hotel, but found that it had been full for days. They were turning away to seek accommodation elsewhere, when a lady of the party bade the others adieu, and expressed her intention of remaining. "How can that be?" they asked, "when you hear the hotel is full?" "Oh," she replied, "I telegraphed on ahead a number of days ago and my room is secured."


My friend, send your name on ahead, and the door of Heaven can never be shut against you. Be sure, it is a wise precaution. Then everything will be ready for you. And when the journey of life is over, you will mount up as with angel-wings and inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world.

D. L. Moody

 

 

Have A Great Day !

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Soul Food July 10

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Copyright Information: Phillip Bower is not the author of the humor, and does not claim to own any copyright privileges to the jokes. Sources of jokes are listed when known. Birthday's and Happenings for the date, and quotations are public knowledge and collected from numerous sources. Quotations are public knowledge and sources are listed when known. Weekendspirations are written by Tim Knappenberger who has copyright privileges. Cathy Vinson authors Whispers from the Wilderness and owns copyright privileges. Weekendspirations and Whispers from the Wilderness are used with permission by the respective authors. Other devotions are written by Phillip Bower unless otherwise stated. In all cases credit is given when known. The Daily Miscellany is nonprofit. Submissions by readers is welcome.