Today's Quotations – LAUGHTER:

Rhino Bird?
A fine example of mutualism

I'm sure you have seen pictures of the rhinoceros. Frequently you will see a passenger on the back of the black rhino. The passenger is a coffee brown bird about seven to eight inches long. This bird is a relative of the starling. The bird is an oxpecker. It is found only in Africa. There are two species of the oxpecker: the red-billed oxpecker (Buphagus erythrohynchus) which lives in eastern Africa from the Red Sea to Natal, and the yellow-billed oxpecker (Buphagus africanus) which lives over much of western and central Africa.

The oxpecker feeds on more than 20 species of ticks that live in the hide of the black rhinoceros. This bird spends most of its time on the rhino or on other animals, such as the antelope, zebra, giraffe, and buffalo. The oxpecker has even been known to roost on the back of the host rhino.

The relationship between the oxpecker and the rhinoceros is a type of symbiosis called mutualism. Mutualism is a close association between the two organisms in which both organisms benefit. The oxpecker benefits by finding a ready source of food on the rhinoceros. As the bird eats the annoying ticks from off the rhino, the rhino clearly benefits by receiving relief of the ticks. The oxpecker has much better eyesight than the nearsighted rhino. When danger approaches the oxpecker will alert the rhino with its shrill cries.

Tuesday - More about Central America

A cheerful heart is good medicine,
but a crushed spirit dries up the bones.
Proverbs 17:22 (NIV)

"What sunshine is to flowers, smiles are to humanity. These are but trifles, to be sure; but, scattered along life's pathway, the good they do is inconceivable."

Joseph Addison

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Annabella and Edwardo were a happily married couple. But as in all things in life, we have our quirks that drive even the ones we love crazy. Annabella recounts that her husband of 10 years is a good provider but likes to show off the money he has. Every time he buys something, he presents small denomination bills one at a time, and folds them lengthwise to hand to the cashier, and with a flourish with each bill.

Annabella would despise going to a restaurant in anticipation of paying at the checkout. Finally, out of desperation, she consulted the parish priest.

The wise father, who had dealt with many marriage idiosyncrasies, said that there was one and only one thing she could do. All you can do is pray and pray and pray in earnest, and let God make the difference. For in a case like this, all you can do is:

to pray without ceasing about someone to pay without creasing.

by J CHRISTY RAMSEY From ECULAUGH

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An Irishman walks into a bar and says, "Bartender, one round for everyone, on me!"

The bartender says, "Well, Murph, seems you're in a really good mood tonight?"

The Irishman says, "Oh, you can bet on it! I just got hired by the city to go around and remove all the money from parking meters. I start on Monday!"

The bartender congratulates the man and proceeds to pour the round.

Monday evening arrives. The Irishman comes back into the bar and says, "Bartender, TWO rounds for everyone, on me!"

The bartender says, "Well now! If you're so happy just over having this new job, I can just imagine how happy you'll be when you get your paycheck!"

The Irishman looks at the bartender with a wondrous look on his face, pulls out a handful of quarters from his pocket, and says, "You mean they'll PAY me too?"

 

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There's this fella with a parrot. And this parrot swears like an old salt, I mean he's a pistol. He can swear for five minutes straight without repeating himself. Trouble is, the guy who owns him is a quiet, conservative type, and the bird's foul mouth is driving him nuts.

One day, it just gets to be too much and the guy grabs the bird by the throat, shakes him really hard, and yells, "QUIT IT!" But this just makes the bird mad and he swears more than ever. Then the guy gets angry and says, "OK for you," and locks the bird in a kitchen cabinet. This really aggravates the bird and he claws and scratches, and when the guy finally lets him out, the bird cuts loose with a stream of vulgarities that would make a sailor blush.

At that point, the guy is so mad that he throws the bird into the freezer. For the first few seconds there is a terrible din. The bird kicks and claws and thrashes. Then, suddenly gets _very_ quiet. At first the guy just waits, but then he starts to think that the bird may be hurt. After a couple of minutes of silence, he's so worried that he opens up the freezer door.

The bird meekly climbs onto the man's outstretched arm and says, "Awfully sorry about the trouble I gave you. I'll do my best to improve my vocabulary from now on."

The man is astounded and amazed at the transformation that has come over the parrot. Then the parrot says, "By the way, what did the chicken do?"

From Lorne Strang

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You may be a geek if...

You've ever used a computer on Friday, Saturday and Sunday of the same weekend.

You find yourself interrupting computer store salesman to correct something he said.

The first thing you notice when walking in a business is their computer system. ...and offer advice on how you would change it.

You've ever mounted a magnetic tape reel.

You own any shareware.

You know more IP addresses than phone numbers.

You've ever accidentally dialed an IP address.

Your friends use you as tech support.

You've ever named a computer.

You have your local computer store on speed dial.

You can't carry on a conversation without talking about computers.

Co-workers have to E-mail you about the fire alarm to get you out of the building.

You've ever found "stray" diskettes when doing laundry.

Your computer has it's own phone line - but your teenager doesn't.

You check the national weather service web page for current weather conditions (rather than look out the window).

You know more URLs than street addresses.

Your pet has a web page.

You get really excited when Yahoo adds your link.

AdamsCathy@aol.com

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TRUE FACT ...

Humans begin laughing at two to three months of age. Six year olds laugh about 300 times per day, while adults laugh from 15 to 100 times per day.

SOURCE: NYT, Dr. William F. Fry, Stanford University

Procrastination: The art of keeping up with yesterday.

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~ Jesus the Translator ~

 

In Just Like Jesus, Max Lucado writes: There were a few occasions in Brazil when I served as a translator for an English speaker. He stood before the audience, complete with the message. I stood at his side, equipped with the language. My job was to convey his story to the listeners.

I did my best to allow his words to come through me. I was not at liberty to embellish or subtract. When the speaker gestured, I gestured. As his volume increased, so did mine. When he got quiet, I did, too.

When he walked this earth, Jesus was "translating" God all the time. When God got louder, Jesus got louder. When God gestured, Jesus gestured. He was so in sync with the Father that he could declare "I am the Father and the Father is in me"

 "Believe Me that I am in the Father and the Father in Me, or else believe Me for the sake of the works themselves.

John 14:11