Today's Quotations – LAUGHTER:

Central America
Animal Diversity

Because life in the Central American jungles is difficult, there is a diversity of both plants and animals. Plant protein is hard to come by at any given time. Plants have been created with numerous stratagems to guard their precious protein supplies. Animals are forced to compete fiercely for the limited protein. God has provided them with some unique ways to survive in this jungle and find nourishing food sources.

One of the most obvious ways to survive in an area with limited food is to require less food. Indeed, this is one of the methods found. Most animals of the Central American jungles are small. Small means less food requirement. The only large animal in Central America is the tapir. The tapir has a long snout. It is a leathery-hided animal which weighs up to 700 pounds. The tapir is not very abundant in the jungles. There just isn't enough protein in the area to build numerous large bodies.

Some animals have solved the protein problem by not being very choosy about what they eat. The howler monkey is an example of an animal using this solution. The howler monkey (Alouatta villosa) is a generalist. Like a tree living goat, this monkey is capable of eating just about anything that grows. The complex stomach of the howler monkey is populated with various bacteria that help to break down food that would normally be indigestible.

Some animals take just the opposite route of the howler monkey. Rather than eat anything that grows -- they seek out a very particular food. Specializing in a single or narrow food source limits competition with other creatures. Some creatures have developed intricate relationships with other organisms to provide them with necessary protein. A few days ago we looked at an example of this method in the relationship of some ants with the acacia tree.

Another way to deal with the limited food source is to remain relatively inactive, therefore requiring less food. Tomorrow we will take a brief look at an animal that uses this approach--the sloth. 

A cheerful heart is good medicine,
but a crushed spirit dries up the bones.
Proverbs 17:22 (NIV)

"What sunshine is to flowers, smiles are to humanity. These are but trifles, to be sure; but, scattered along life's pathway, the good they do is inconceivable."

Joseph Addison

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Insurance Accident Report

Dear Sir,

I am writing in response to your request for additional information in Block #3 of the accident reporting form. I put "Poor Planning" as the cause of my accident. You asked for a fuller explanation and I trust the following details will be sufficient.

I am a bricklayer by trade. On the day of the accident, I was working alone on the roof of a new six-story building. When I completed my work, I found I had some bricks left over which when weighed later were found to weigh 240 lbs. Rather than carry the bricks down by hand, I decided to lower them in a barrel by using a pulley which was attached to the side of the building at the sixth floor.

Securing the rope at ground level, I went up to the roof, swung the barrel out and loaded the bricks into it. Then I went down and untied the rope, holding it tightly to insure a slow descent of the 240 lbs of bricks. You will note on the accident reporting form that my weight is 135 lbs. Due to my surprise at being jerked off the ground so suddenly, I lost my presence of mind and forgot to let go of the rope. Needless to say, I proceeded at a rapid rate up the side of the building.

In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel which was now proceeding downward at an equally impressive speed. This explains the fractured skull, minor abrasions and the broken collarbone, as listed in Section 3, accident reporting form. Slowed only slightly, I continued my rapid ascent, not stopping until the fingers of my right hand were two knuckles deep into the pulley which I mentioned in Paragraph 2 of this correspondence. Fortunately by this time I had regained my presence of mind and was able to hold tightly to the rope, in spite of the excruciating pain I was now beginning to experience.

At approximately the same time, however, the barrel of bricks hit the ground-and the bottom fell out of the barrel. Now devoid of the weight of the bricks, the barrel weighed approximately 50 lbs. I refer you again to my weight. As you might imagine, I began a rapid descent down the side of the building. In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel coming up. This accounts for the two fractured ankles, broken tooth and severe lacerations of my legs and lower body.

Here my luck began to change slightly. The encounter with the barrel seemed to slow me enough to lessen my injuries when I fell into the pile of bricks and fortunately only three vertebrae were cracked.

I am sorry to report, however, as I lay there on the pile of bricks, in pain, unable to move and watching the empty barrel six stories above me, I again lost my composure and presence of mind and let go of the rope. And I lay there watching the empty barrel begin its journey back onto me.

From: CanCom several years ago.

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A lawyer died. At the same moment, the Pope also died. They arrived at the gates of heaven at the same moment. They spend the day in orientation, and as they're getting their heavenly vestments, the Pope gets a plain white toga and wings, like everyone else, and the lawyer gets much finer apparel, made of gold thread, and Gucci shoes.

Then, they get to see where they're going to live(?). The Pope gets what everyone else gets, a replica of a Holiday Inn room, and the lawyer gets an 18 room mansion with servants and a swimming pool.

At dinnertime, the Pope receives the standard meal, a Manischewitz kosher TV dinner, and the lawyer receives a fine and tasty meal, served on silver platters.

By this time, the lawyer is beginning to suspect that an error has been made , so he asks one of the angels in charge, "Has there been some kind of mistake? This guy was the Pope, and he gets what everyone else gets, and I'm just a lawyer and I'm getting the finest of everything?"

The angel replied, "No mistake, sir. We've had lots of popes here, but you're the first lawyer we've ever had."

From Lorne Strang

 

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Adam & Eve

Adam was returning home late one night at paradise after drinking with the dodo and the unicorn. Eve got angry and yelled at him: "YOU ARE SEEING ANOTHER WOMAN"

Adam responded: "Don't be silly, you are the only woman on earth" and went to sleep.

Later that night Adam woke up. filling a tickle in his chest and saw it was Eve. "What the heck are you doing?" he asked.

"I'm counting your ribs" she responded.

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A salesman, tired of his job, gave it up to become a policeman. Several months later, a friend asked him how he liked his new role.

"Well," he replied, "the pay is good and the hours aren't bad, but what I like best is that the customer is always wrong."

AdamsCathy@aol.com

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TRUE FACT ...

Humans begin laughing at two to three months of age. Six year olds laugh about 300 times per day, while adults laugh from 15 to 100 times per day.

SOURCE: NYT, Dr. William F. Fry, Stanford University

Poor planning on your part does not constitute an automatic emergency on mine.

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~ Grind or Shine ~

 

Adversity is the grindstone of life. Intended to polish you up, adversity also has the ability to grind you down. The impact and ultimate result depend on what you do with the difficulties that come your way. Consider the phenomenal achievements of people experiencing adversity.

Beethoven composed his greatest works after becoming deaf. Sir Walter Raleigh wrote the 'History of the World' during a thirteen year imprisonment. If Columbus had turned back, no one could have blamed him, considering the constant adversity he endured. Of course no one would have remembered him either. Abraham Lincoln achieved greatness by his display of wisdom and character during the devastation of the Civil War. Luther translated the Bible while enduring confinement in the Castle of Wartburg. Under sentence of death and during twenty years exile, Dante wrote the "Divine Comedy." John Bunyan wrote "Pilgrim's Progress" in a Bedford jail.

Finally, consider a more recent example. Mary Groda-Lewis endured sixteen years of illiteracy because of unrecognized dyslexia, was committed to a reformatory on two different occasions, and almost died of a stroke while bearing a child. Committed to going to college, she worked a variety of odd jobs to save money, graduated with her high school equivalency at eighteen, was named Oregon's outstanding Upward Bound student, and finally entered college. Determined to become a doctor, she faced fifteen medical school rejections until Albany Medical College finally accepted her. In 1984, Dr. Mary Groda-Lewis, at thirty-five, graduated with honors to fulfill her dream.

Adversity -- the grindstone of life. Will it grind you down or polish you up?

We also have joy with our troubles, because we know that these troubles produce patience. And patience produces character, and character produces hope.

Romans 5: 3-4.