ALL THE REST —  July 20
  

Central America
Leaf Cutter Ant

Ants are very prevalent in the tropical rainforests of Central America. They can be found anywhere from the tops of trees to the forest floor. They are so prevalent that in a one square yard area of typical forest, 800 individuals from 12 different species of ants can be found.

One interesting type of ant is the Leaf cutter ant (Atta rodona). Evidence of the presence of the leaf ant is the numerous holes riddling the leaves of plants. The ants themselves are not usually seen during daylight hours. Groups of these ants can be seen at night dismantling area vegetation leaf by leaf. During a nocturnal raid, a worker leaf cutter ant precisely cut leaves of bushes or trees into tiny pieces with its mouth and then carries the cut portions back to the colony's underground nest. When carrying a cut leaf, the worker ant holds it above its head, giving these insects the nickname of umbrella or parasol ants. At one time it was thought that the ants carried the leaves back to their nest to be eaten, but the truth is more complicated.


Once the leaves have been transported to their the depths of their nest the gardening begins. The ants chew the leaves into a pulp, mix it with a special fungus and fertilize it with their fecal material. The fungus "digests" the leaves, producing "knob" that the ants can eat. The ants will then feed upon the fungus, not the leaves.

Leaf cutter colonies typically number two million worker ants and have one queen whose main purpose is to lay eggs. Before laying eggs, the queen takes a pellet of the fungus to prepare a nesting area for her eggs. She cultivates the fungus with her own body waste. Once the nest is ready, the queen lays approximately 30,000 eggs each day.

A cheerful heart is good medicine,
but a crushed spirit dries up the bones.
Proverbs 17:22 (NIV)

"What sunshine is to flowers, smiles are to humanity. These are but trifles, to be sure; but, scattered along life's pathway, the good they do is inconceivable."

Joseph Addison

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LAWYER JOKES

Last October while in Philadelphia on a business trip, I took one afternoon off to see the Liberty Bell and other historic sites downtown. Two young families were also in line to the see the sites and I overheard an interesting conversation between two small boys, not yet old enough to be in school.

"My name is Billy. What's yours?", asked the first boy.

"Tommy", replied the second.

"My Daddy's an accountant. What does your Daddy do for a living?", asked Billy.

Tommy replied, "My Daddy's a lawyer."

"Honest?" asked Billy.

"No, just the regular kind." replied Tommy.

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What do you call 20 lawyers skydiving from an airplane?

Skeet.

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What do call a lawyer with an IQ of 50?

Your Honor

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A old man was critically ill. Feeling that death was near, he called his lawyer.

"I want to become a lawyer. How much is it for that express degree you told me about?"

"It's $50,000", the lawyer said, "But why? You'll be dead soon, why do you want to become a lawyer?"

"That's my business! Get me the course!"

Four days later, the old man got his law degree. His lawyer was at his bedside making sure his bill would be paid.

Suddenly the old man was racked with fits of coughing, and it was clear That this would be the end. Still curious, the lawyer leaned over and said, "Please, before it's too late, tell me why you wanted to get a law degree so badly before you died?"

In a faint whisper, as he breathed his last, the old man said: "One less lawyer."

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The MONK

A man is driving down the road and breaks down near a monastery. He goes to the monastery, knocks on the door, and says, "My car broke down. Do you think I could stay the night?"

The monks graciously accept him, feed him dinner, even fix his car. As the man tries to fall asleep, he hears a strange sound. The next morning, he asks the monks what the sound was, but they say, "We can't tell you. You're not a monk."

The man is disappointed but thanks them anyway and goes about his merry way.

Some years later, the same man breaks down in front of the same monastery. The monks again accept him, feed him, even fix his car. That night, he hears the same strange noise that he had heard years earlier.

The next morning, he asks what it is, but the monks reply, "We can't tell you. You're not a monk."

The man says, "All right, all right. I'm dying to know. If the only way I can find out what that sound was is to become a monk, how do I become a monk?"

The monks reply, "You must travel the earth and tell us how many blades of grass there are and the exact number of sand pebbles. When you find these numbers, you will become a monk."

The man sets about his task. Some forty-five years later, he returns and knocks on the door of the monastery. He says, "I have traveled the earth and have found what you have asked for. There are 145,236,284,232 blades of grass and 231,281,219,999,129,382 sand pebbles on the earth."

The monks reply, "Congratulations. You are now a monk. We shall now show you the way to the sound."

The monks lead the man to a wooden door, where the head monk says, "The sound is right behind that door."

The man reaches for the knob, but the door is locked. He says, "Real funny. May I have the key?"

The monks give him the key, and he opens the door. Behind the wooden door is another door made of stone. The man demands the key to the stone door. The monks give him the key, and he opens it, only to find a door made of ruby. He demands another key from the monks, who provide it. Behind that door is another door, this one made of sapphire. So it went until the man had gone through doors of emerald, silver, topaz, amethyst.

Finally, the monks say, "This is the last key to the last door." The man is relieved to no end. He unlocks the door, turns the knob, and behind that door he is amazed to find the source of that strange sound.

But I can't tell you what it is because you're not a monk.

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TRUE FACT ...

Humans begin laughing at two to three months of age. Six year olds laugh about 300 times per day, while adults laugh from 15 to 100 times per day.

SOURCE: NYT, Dr. William F. Fry, Stanford University

Love conquers all things except poverty and toothache.

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~ If God Had Voice Mail ~

 
We have learned to live with voice mail as a necessary part of busy, modern life. But what if God decided to install voice mail? Imagine praying and hearing something like this:

"All of our angels are busy helping other sinners right now. Your call is very important to us. Please press 1 for Prayer Requests; press 2 for Thanksgivings; press 3 for Complaints; for all other inquiries, Press 4."

So you press 4 and then here this dialog:

"To speak to Gabriel, press 1; For Michael, press 2; for a Directory of other Angels, press the # key. If you would like to listen to a Psalm while you are waiting, press 4. If you would like to make reservations, please press JOHN 3*16."

You press the appropriate keys and then the computer responds by saying, "I'm sorry, your call cannot be completed as dialed. Please hang up and try again later."

Thank God that he's there to listen when we pray!

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