ALL THE REST —  August 3
  

For the Birds
Rails

The rails are birds from the order Gruiformes. Other members of this order include the cranes, coots, and gallinules. Rails are marsh birds and birds of the deep grasses and sedges that grow along the border of bodies of water. All rails have short tails, long legs and rounded wings. The rounded wings limit the birds to rather week flying ability. To compensate for this lack their bodies are compressed laterally. This gives them the advantage of slipping through dense marshy tangles to escape pursuit. This lateral compression of their body is also the source of a familiar phrase: "skinny as a rail."

The rails are very secretive. They are somewhat gregarious and are found living in family groups. They are omnivorous, eating seeds, insects, crustaceans, and worms. They can often be heard calling in a series of harsh cackling notes to express their alarm.

There are six species of Rails found in North America. Probably the most common is the Clapper Rail. It is also known as the marsh clapper and marsh hen. This 15 inch long bird can be found in the tidal flats from Maine to Florida, and westward to San Francisco bay. The bird can be found in salt meadows and brackish creeks anywhere in this area. The bird's coloration provides for great concealment. The plumage of its back and shoulders, ashy gray streaked with brown, and that of its breast, russet paling into grayish on its flanks, are nearly identical with its surroundings of marshes littered with faded reeds. A rail is seldom seen unless it moves. Even with movement its colors and patterns quickly blend into its surroundings.

Protective coloration alone is not enough for the safety of the rail. The rail can generally evade capture by its pursuer by scampering through the dense rushes. Though it wings are week it has powerful legs and a skinny, wedge shaped body. It can slip between close growing rushes. It also has long spreading toes that enable it to travel quickly across quaking bogs.

The rail is also a very able swimmer. Like many water birds they are also good divers. Occasionally when attacked a clapper rail will plunge and avoid surfacing by allowing only the tip of its bill to protrude from the water. By gripping the base of a reed the rail can remain submerged and remain practically invisible until peril disappears. 
 

A cheerful heart is good medicine,
but a crushed spirit dries up the bones.
Proverbs 17:22 (NIV)

"What sunshine is to flowers, smiles are to humanity. These are but trifles, to be sure; but, scattered along life's pathway, the good they do is inconceivable."

Joseph Addison

 

A man was in his bed dying, slipping in and out of consciousness, and his wife came into the room with his doctor and the parish priest.

"Mrs. Kelleher, you realize that the bill for my services is $1000," the doctor said.

"Fine, I'll see to it that it's paid from the insurance."

"And, don't forget, Doreen, the funeral and casket will cost $1000," the priest said.

"Don't worry, Father, I'll see to it that you're paid as well."

The three walked over to the bed and the doctor stood on one side of the man and the priest stood on the other. He opened his eyes and saw the two men there, and said, "Father, would you tell the people at my funeral that I died as Jesus died?"

"Do you mean pure of heart and poor in spirit, Tom?"

"No, I mean between two thieves."

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A hamburger walked into a bar, climbed up onto a bar stool, looked at the bartender and ordered a tall cold beer.

The bartender looked at the hamburger for a moment and replied, "I'm sorry sir, but I can't sell you that drink."

The hamburger thought about this for a second and said, "I'm over 21. Why can't you sell me a drink?"

After looking at the hamburger for another moment, the bartender replied, "I'm sorry, we don't serve food in here.

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The Facts Of Life Explained

A little boy returning home from his first day at school said to his mother, "Mom, what's sex?"

His mother, who believed in all the most modern educational theories, gave him a detailed explanation, covering all aspects of the tricky subject.

When she had finished, the little lad produced an enrollment form which he had brought home from school and said, "Yes, but how am I going to get all that into this one little square?"

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THINGS DOGS MUST TRY TO REMEMBER

I will not play tug-of-war with Dad's underwear when he's on the toilet.

The garbage collector is NOT stealing our stuff.

I do not need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm lying under the coffee table.

I will not roll my toys behind the fridge.

I must shake the rainwater out of my fur BEFORE entering the house.

I will stop trying to find the few remaining pieces of clean carpet in the house when I am about to throw up.

I will not throw up in the car.

I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc.

I will not lick my human's face after eating animal poop.

I will not eat any more socks and then redeposit them in the backyard after processing.

I will not wake Mommy up by sticking my cold, wet nose up her bottom end.

I will not chew my human's toothbrush and not tell them.

I will not chew crayons or pens, especially not the red ones, or my people will think I am hemorrhaging.

When in the car, I will not insist on having the window rolled down when it's raining outside.

We do not have a doorbell. I will not bark each time I hear one on TV.

I will not steal my Mom's underwear and dance all over the back yard with it.

The sofa is not a face towel. Neither are Mom & Dad's laps.

My head does not belong in the refrigerator.

I will not bite the officer's hand when he reaches in for Mom's driver's license and car registration.

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TRUE FACT ...

Humans begin laughing at two to three months of age. Six year olds laugh about 300 times per day, while adults laugh from 15 to 100 times per day.

SOURCE: NYT, Dr. William F. Fry, Stanford University

It's not denial. I'm just selective about the reality I accept.

Daily Miscellany Comics

Have A Great Day !

Phillip Bower

Soul Food for August 3

History for August 3