ALL THE REST —  August 15
  

 

Today's Quotations –  JOY:

 



Abundance changes the value of things. Terence. *Not what we have, but what we enjoy, constitutes our abundance.

J. Petit-Senn.

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Beauty, without kindness, dies unenjoyed and undelighting.

Johnson.

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There is no beautifier of complexion or form or behavior, like the wish to scatter joy and not pain around us.

Emerson

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True joy is a serene and sober motion; and they are miserably out that take laughing for rejoicing; the seat of it is within, and there is no cheerfulness like the resolutions of a brave mind.

Seneca.


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O God, animate us to cheerfulness! May we have a joyful sense of our blessings, learn to look on the bright circumstances of our lot, and maintain a perpetual contentedness.

Channing


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A joyous heart supplies oil to our inward machinery, and makes the whole of our powers work with ease and efficiency; hence it is of the utmost importance that we maintain a contented, cheerful, genial disposition.

Aughey


 

word puzzle
  Today's Word – SARDONIC
   

 


sar·don·ic adjective Scornfully or cynically mocking. Synonym sarcastic


The sergeant, taking note of this, gave pause to his elaborate history while he administered a sardonic comment. "Be keerful, honey, you'll be a-ketchin' flies," he said.

THE RED BADGE OF COURAGE
Stephen Crane


Definition from American Heritage Dictionary


Today's Fact

 

 

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Style and Fashion
A Close Shave


Before Alexander the Great came to power, few men in Europe or North Africa ever shaved their beard. The young Alexander was not able to grow much of a beard, so he began to scrape his face with a dagger each day to remove his whiskers. Those close to him, naturally, did the same thing. Soon the practice became the fashion of the day.

Source: The unbelievable Truth - Jeff Rovin
   
 


 
Let every created thing give praise to the Lord,
for he issued his command, and they came into being.

Psalm 148:5

 

clown
Today's SMILE

 

A cheerful heart is good medicine,
but a crushed spirit dries up the bones.
Proverbs 17:22 (NIV)

 
   

 

 

"What sunshine is to flowers, smiles are to humanity. These are but trifles, to be sure; but, scattered along life's pathway, the good they do is inconceivable."

Joseph Addison

 

A FEW SMILES   

 

smileA true news article cut and saved for my dads humor files some time ago. An Error In The Pet Law Arvada, Colo. - A drafting error in the city's animal control ordinance has just been noticed. It provides that if a stray pet picked up by the city is not claimed within twenty-four hours, the owner will be destroyed. City manager Capp Shanks says a correction in the ordinance will be made.

from Pat Nordman


smileIn June 1994, a judge in Thousand Oaks, California dismissed neighbors' request for an injunction against Kathleen Adams, who the neighbors said lures squirrels to her home with food and thus creates a nuisance. Adams claims the area is populated with squirrels anyway, and that she does not need to lure them. Neighbors' evidence included the fact that Adams posts "Squirrels Welcome" signs in her yard, but the judge said he found the signs unpersuasive in that he doubted that squirrels could read them.

from Pat Nordman


The farmer didn't like to use a tractor on his small holding. He preferred to have his draft horses pull this plow and wagons. Unfortunately, a group of small birds insisted in forming nests in the horses manes, which prevented him from hitching the reins properly.

The farmer tried every method he could think of to get rid of the pesky birds. He tried lotions, potions, and notions. He kept the stable colder, he kept it warmer. He went to horse doctors, he went to bird specialists. He called his congressman, he called the Dept. of Agriculture. He trimmed the manes as much as he could. He tried loud noises, cat noises, classical music. Nothing would induce the birds to leave his horses alone.

In desperation, he went to an Indian medicine man from a nearby reservation. The medicine man, listening to his story, gave him some vile smelling yeast extract to rub into the manes. Amazingly, it worked. Within two days, the birds had all fled and the horses were back to work. The farmer was pleased with this outcome, but puzzled with the methodology. He went back to the medicine man and inquired about how a simple extract of yeast was able to solve a problem that many veterinarians and the Department of Agriculture couldn't.

The medicine man replied, "Simple. Yeast is yeast, and nest is nest, and never the mane shall tweet."

from Pat Nordman


BEING LAZY

A site foreman had ten very lazy men working for him, so one day he decided to trick them into doing some work for a change.

"I've got a really easy job today for the laziest one among you," he announced. "Will the laziest man please put his hand up."

Nine hands went up.

"Why didn't you put your hand up?" he asked the tenth man.

"Too much trouble," came the reply.

from Hilarity Junior


ARMLESS PUN

A man went to visit his doctor. "Doctor, my arm hurts bad. Can you check it out please?" the man pleads.

The doctor rolls up the man's sleeve and suddenly hears the arm talk... "Hello Doctor, could you lend me twenty bucks please? I'm desperate" the arm says.

The doctor says, "Aha! I see the problem. Your arm is broke!"

Hilarity Junior  IWANTHILARITYJNR@keepAhead.com




TRUE FACT ...

Humans begin laughing at two to three months of age. Six year olds laugh about 300 times per day, while adults laugh from 15 to 100 times per day.

SOURCE: NYT, Dr. William F. Fry, Stanford University

 


The easiest way to find something lost
around the house is to buy a replacement.

 


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Have A Great Day !

Phillip Bower

 

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Copyright Information: Phillip Bower is not the author of the humor, and does not claim to own any copyright privileges to the jokes. Sources of jokes are listed when known. Birthday's and Happenings for the date, and quotations are public knowledge and collected from numerous sources. Quotations are public knowledge and sources are listed when known. Weekendspirations are written by Tim Knappenberger who has copyright privileges. Cathy Vinson authors Whispers from the Wilderness and owns copyright privileges. Weekendspirations and Whispers from the Wilderness are used with permission by the respective authors. Other devotions are written by Phillip Bower unless otherwise stated. In all cases credit is given when known. The Daily Miscellany is nonprofit. Submissions by readers is welcome.