 No Charge For The Haircut
A priest walked into a barber shop in Washington, D.C. After he got his
haircut, he asked how much it would be. The barber said, "No charge. I
consider it a service to the Lord."
The next morning, the barber came to work and there were 12 prayer
books and a thank you note from the priest in front of the door.
Later that day, a police officer came in and got his hair cut. He then
asked how much it was. The barber said, "No charge. I consider it a
service to the community."
The next morning, he came to work and there were a dozen donuts and a
thank you note from the police officer.
Then, a Senator came in and got a haircut. When he was done he asked
how much it was. The barber said, "No charge. I consider it a service
to the country."
The next morning, the barber came to work and there were 12 Senators
in front of the door.
 Blondes and Paint
This blonde decides one day that she is sick and tired of all these blonde jokes and how
all blondes are perceived as stupid, so she decides to show her husband that blondes
really are smart. While her husband is off at work, she decides that she is going to paint
a couple of rooms in the house.
The next day, right after her husband leaves for work, she gets down to the task at hand.
Her husband arrives home at 5:30 and smells the distinctive smell of paint. He walks into
the living room and finds his wife lying on the floor in a pool of sweat. He notices that
she is wearing a ski jacket and a fur coat at the same time. He goes over and asks her if
she is OK.
She replies yes.
He asks what she is doing.
She replies that she wanted to prove to him that not all blonde women are dumb and she
wanted to do it by painting the house.
He then asks her why she has a ski jacket and a fur coat on.
She replies that she was reading the directions the paint can and they said, for best
results, put on two coats.
One day a diver was enjoying the aquatic world 20 ft below sea
level. He noticed a guy at the same depth he was, but he had on no scuba gear
whatsoever.
The diver went below another 20 ft, but the guy joined him a few minutes later. The
diver went below 25 ft, but minutes later, the same guy joined him. This confused the
diver, so he took out a waterproof chalk-and-board set, and wrote, "How in the
world are you able to stay under this deep without equipment?"
The guy took the board and chalk, erased what the diver had written, and wrote, "I'M
DROWNING, YOU MORON!!!"
The Dollar Bill
A well worn dollar bill and a similarly distressed twenty arrived
at the bureau of Engraving and Printing to be retired. As they moved along the conveyor
belt to the shredder they struck up a conversation. The twenty reminisced about its
travels all over the country.
"I've had a pretty good life," the twenty proclaimed. "Why, I've been to
Las Vegas and Atlantic City, the finest restaurants in New York, performances on Broadway,
and even a cruise from Miami."
"Wow!" said the single, "you really have gotten around."
"So tell me," says the twenty, "where have you been throughout your
lifetime?"
"Oh, I've been to the Methodist Church, the Baptist Church, the Presbyterian Church,
the Lutheran Church, the Catholic Church, the Orthodox Church, Assembly of God Church, the
Brethren Church, the United Church of Christ...."
And the twenty says, "What's a church?"
Top 10 Reasons Eve was Created
10.God worried that Adam would frequently become lost in the
garden because he would not ask for directions.
9. God knew that Adam would one day require someone to locate and hand him the TV remote.
8. God knew that Adam would never go out and get himself a new fig leaf when his seat wore
out and would therefore need Eve to get one for him.
7. God knew that Adam would never be able to make a doctor's, dentist or haircut
appointment for himself.
6. God knew that Adam would never be able to remember which night to put the garbage on
the curb.
5. God knew that if the world was to be populated, men would never be able to handle the
pain and discomfort of childbearing.
4. As Keeper of the Garden Adam would never remember where he left his tools.
3. Apparently, Adam needed someone to blame his troubles on when God caught him hiding in
the garden.
2. As the Bible says, It is not good for man to be alone!
And finally, the number ONE reason that God created Eve...
1. When God finished the creation of Adam, He stepped back, scratched His head and said,
"I can do better than that."
TRUE FACT ...
Humans begin laughing at two to three months of age. Six year
olds laugh about 300 times per day, while adults laugh from 15 to 100 times per day.
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