 A Letter from School -
This Dear Dad,
$chool i$ really great. I am making lot$ of friend$ and $tudying very hard. With all my
$tuff, I $imply can't think of anything I need, $o if you would like, you can ju$t $end me
a card, a$ I would love to hear from you.
Love,
Your $on.
The answer from home:
Dear Son,
I kNOw that astroNOmy, ecoNOmics, and oceaNOgraphy are eNOugh to keep even an hoNOr
student busy. Do NOt forget that the pursuit of kNOwledge is a NOble task, and you can
never study eNOugh.
Love,
Dad
Two guys were sitting at a bar when one says to the other:
"Frank, I tell you, I know EVERYBODY!" says Joe.
"I'll bet you $1000 that you don't know Tom Hanks." Frank replies.
"You're on." Joe declares.
The two men hopped on a plane and flew down to Hollywood where they took a cab out to Tom
Hanks' home. Joe rang the doorbell and Tom Hanks answered it and soon Joe and Tom were
talking about old times.
Frank paid Joe his money and said " Ok, but I bet you don't know the Pope!"
Joe just smiled and said "Let's go!"
So Frank and Joe flew to the Vatican where thousands of poeple were waiting for the Pope
to appear and bless them.
Joe said "Listen, I'll go inside, and when the Pope comes out to bless the people,
I'll come out with him." Frank agreed and Joe entered the building. About five
minutes later, the doors to the balcony opened and the Pope stepped out and sure enough,
Joe was right there with him. Upon returning to Frank, Joe found him lying flat on his
back.
"Frank, what happened?" Joe asked.
"Well it wasn't so bad when you came out with the Pope, but I guess I fainted after
hearing the nun next to me asking 'Who's that up there with Joe?'" Frank replied.
Kid Philosophers!
I believe you should live each day as if it is your last, which is why I don't have
any clean laundry because, come on, who wants to wash clothes on the last day of
their life? – Age 15
Give me the strength to change the things I can, the grace to accept the things I
cannot, and a great big bag of money. – Age 13
Democracy is a beautiful thing, except for that part about letting just any old yokel
vote. –Age 10
For centuries, people thought the moon was made of green cheese. Then the astronauts
found that the moon is really a big hard rock. That's what happens to cheese
when you leave it out. –Age 6
Think of the biggest number you can. Now add five. Then, imagine if you
had that many Twinkies. Wow, that's five more than the biggest number you
could come up with! –Age 6
As you make your way through this hectic world of ours, set aside a few minutes each day.
At the end of the year, you'll have a couple of days saved up. –Age 7
Often, when I am reading a good book, I stop and thank my teacher. That is, I
used to, until she got an unlisted number.–Age 15
It would be terrible if the Red Cross Bloodmobile got into an accident. No, wait.
That would be good because if anyone needed it, the blood would be right there.
– Age 5
If we could just get everyone to close their eyes and visualize world peace for an hour,
imagine how serene and quiet it would be until the looting started. –Age 15
SOURCE: ZONDERVAN PUBLISHING
HOUSE E-MAIL ALERT SERVICE Time To Smile
Why do drummers have a half ounce more brains than horses?
So they don't disgrace themselves at the
parade.
YES - I am
(was) a drummer |
The New Wing:
When some doctors were told to contribute to the construction of a new
wing at a hospital:
the allergists voted to scratch it;
the dermatologists preferred no rash moves;
the gastroenterologists had a gut feeling about it;
the microsurgeons were thinking along the same vein;
the neurologists thought the administration "had a lot of nerve";
the obstetricians stated they were laboring under a misconception;
the ophthalmologists considered the idea short-sighted;
the orthopedists issued a joint resolution;
the parasitologists said, "Well, if you encyst";
the pathologists yelled, "Over my dead body!";
the pediatricians said, "Grow up!";
the psychiatrists thought it was madness;
the radiologists could see right through it;
the internists thought it was a hard pill to swallow;
the plastic surgeons said, "This puts a whole new face on the matter";
the podiatrists thought it was a big step forward;
the D.O.s thought they were being manipulated;
the anesthesiologists thought the whole idea was a gas;
the cardiologists didn't have the heart to say no;
and the otologists were deaf to the idea;
and finally, the surgeons decided to wash their hands of the whole thing.
Needless to say, the idea of contributing to a new wing didn't fly!
TRUE FACT ...
Humans begin laughing at two to three months of age. Six year
olds laugh about 300 times per day, while adults laugh from 15 to 100 times per day.
|
Beauty is only skin deep! 
