 A Tycoon and his Pets
A few years ago, there was a really eccentric oil tycoon who had taken it
into his head to collect really strange and exotic pets. One day, deciding to add to his
collection, he walked into the store of an exotic pet shop and said to the salesman ,
"Show me the most unusual pet you have in stock!"
The salesman took him to an outside tank, in which a pod of dolphins were frolicking
happily. "These may LOOK like ordinary dolphins," he told the man, "but
these were given to us to sell by a genetics research group studying ways to genetically
reduce aging in humans. It seems the experiment was a success on these little guys.
They can't survive out in the wild anymore, they're too tame, but as long as they don't
catch any severe debilitating diseases, they will live more or less forever." The man
is impressed, and being the wealthy man that he is, drops the cash to buy the dolphins and
have a suitable home for them installed in his backyard.
The man became quite attached to his pets and took very good care of them, and they
frolicked about in their tank happily for nearly fifteen years, much longer than any of
his other pets had ever survived.
The man spared no expense for their care, and seriously considered leaving his
multi-million dollar estate to them in his will. But one day they began to seem a little
droopy and not very energetic. Alarmed, the man rang for the vet, who told him that alas,
his precious dolphins had contracted a rare icthyoid disease, and the only antibiotic for
them had to be derived from the feathers of the blue savannah parrot that lived on the
jungle fringes of Africa.
The man didn't think twice. He called up his travel agent and booked the next day's
flight to Africa, and rented a jeep and a guide and pack boy to help him bag some of these
parrots. They drove up to the edge of the jungle, stopped the jeep and trudged into the
trees on an old native hunting trail, nets in hand. After about six hours of this, they
had bagged two of the parrots, and the man decided that would be enough feather to make
enough antibiotic for his pets. So he trudges back out towa rd the jeep - and freezes. A
huge, stately lion had decided to take a nap right in the middle of the path between him
and the jeep. He looks over his shoulder and realizes that his companions have fled
leaving him literally holding the bag, and the grow th is too thick on either side of the
trail to make it past without waking the lion. So he backs up about fifty feet, gets a
running start, and leaps over the beast and makes a dash for the jeep and drives off for
the airport.
Just as he is nearing sight of the airport, he hears a siren and sees some flashing
lights. He dutifully pulls over, and a policeman steps up to him and says, "I'm
sorry, sir, but you're under arrest - "
The man interrupts him, "Oh, please, officer, I'll pay any fine at all! I need to get
these parrots back so I can make a vaccine for my dolphins so they don't die!"
"Well, sir," the policeman replies, "I'm afraid that's the root of the
problem. I have to arrest you for taking mynahs over the stately lion for immortal
porpoises."
from Dr. Charley King
Noah's Ark
The water went
away and Noah threw open the doors and told the animals to go forth and multiply. As the
animals left two snakes stopped by Noah and said, "We can't do that."
"Do what?" Said Noah.
"Multiply." said the snakes.
"Why not?" Asked Noah.
"Because we're Adders." Said the snakes. Noah called two of his sons over and
told them to go cut down some trees and drag them over. The boy quickly felled the trees
and brought them over to Noah. "Cut them up and build some tables," Noah told
the boys. They went to work a quickly made the tables. Noah turned to the snakes and said,
"Now you can do it, for even adders can multiply with log tables."
Teenagers went to Oak Island to search for the legendary treasure of Captain
Kidd. After thorough searching they came across the cave where Kidd had hidden his
most prized possessions. They were afraid that if they were caught they would
be arrested and the treasure confiscated. So the leader of the group hid the loot
inside his grandfather's apiary. He then notified the rest of his group: ...
"Booty is in the beehives of the older."
I just
got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory. |
Two boll weevils grew up in South Carolina. One went
to Hollywood and became a famous actor. The other stayed behind in the cotton fields and
never amounted to much.
The second one, naturally, became known as the lesser of two weevils.
The Israelites thought Moses had gone to see a doctor, since all he came back with were a
couple of tablets.
And when he descended from the mountain, he broke it to smithereens. That is why it is
known as the Mosaic law.
.
The sermon had been going on endlessly.
Finally the minister's voice cracked and said, "What more can I
say?" A parishioner yelled, "How about `Amen'!"
TRUE FACT ...
Humans begin laughing at two to three months of age. Six year
olds laugh about 300 times per day, while adults laugh from 15 to 100 times per day.
|
The heart's function in circulation was not
known until 1616. It was discovered by a British physician William Harvey. In an average
lifetime the heart pumps enough blood to fill the fuel tanks of 56 moon rockets. In one
day the human heart pumps 2100 gallons of blood through 62,00 miles of blood vessels. 
