Calorie-burning activities :
Proper weight control cannot be attained by dieting alone;
however, many people who are engaged in sedentary occupations do not realize that calories
can be burned by the hundreds by engaging in strenuous activities that do not require much
(or any) physical exercise.
Here's the guide to calorie-burning activities and the number of calories per hour they
consume.
Beating around the bush. . . . . . . . .75
Jumping to conclusions . . . . . . . . 100
Climbing the walls . . . . . . . . . . 150
Swallowing your pride. . . . . . . . . .50
Passing the buck . . . . . . . . . . . .25
Throwing your weight around
(depending on your weight). . . .50-300
Dragging your heels. . . . . . . . . . 100
Pushing your luck. . . . . . . . . . . 250
Making mountains out of molehills. . . 500
Hitting the nail on the head . . . . . .50
Wading through paperwork . . . . . . . 300
Bending over backwards . . . . . . . . 75
Jumping on the bandwagon . . . . . . . 200
Balancing the books. . . . . . . . . . .25
Running around in circles. . . . . . . 350
Eating crow. . . . . . . . . . . . . . 225
Tooting your own horn. . . . . . . . . .25
Climbing the ladder of success . . . . 750
Pulling out the stops. . . . . . . . . .75
Adding fuel to the fire. . . . . . . . 160
Wrapping it up at the day's end. . . . .12
To which you may want to add your own favorite activities, including:
Opening a can of worms . . . . . . . . .50
Putting your foot in your mouth. . . . 300
Starting the ball rolling. . . . . . . .90
Going over the edge. . . . . . . . . . .25
Picking up the pieces after. . . . . . 350
From: "Funny Pages Mailing
List" funny-pages@plato.ens.gu.edu.au
PUnny
A young man was in love with two women and
could not decide which of them to marry. Finally he went to a marriage counsellor.When
asked to describe his two loves, he noted that one was a great poet and the other made
delicious pancakes.
"Oh" said the counsellor, "I see what the problem is. You can't decide
whether to marry for batter or verse."
Once there was a monster, similar to the one from Loch Ness,
living in the Thames River in London. It terrorized the ity's inhabitants until one
day, those who were true and brave enough, gathered their strength together and killed the
monster. In order to deal with this landfall of suddenly available meat, they ground
its carcass into spicy German sausages. Charles Dickens, at the time a
reporter for The Times, wrote a newspaper article describing the events. The
headline read: IT WAS THE BEAST OF THAMES; IT WAS THE WURST OF THAMES!
zphhumor jprof@univ.com
How Do You Spell Relief?
Tom had never been on a fishing boat before, and he was now thinking it was the stupidest
thing he'd ever done in his life. Who would ever have believed that seasickness could be
this awful? With every pitch and roll, Tom wondered how he was going to survive the
remaining two hours of the trip.
One of the deckhands came up to him and said, "Don't worry, young fella.
Nobody ever died of seasickness."
"You've just taken away my last hope for relief," Tom said.
TRUE FACT ...
Humans begin laughing at two to three months of age. Six year
olds laugh about 300 times per day, while adults laugh from 15 to 100 times per day.
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