After almost twenty years teaching kindergarten, Miss Grover had
composed a note which she had each child carry home at the end of the first week of
school. It read,
"Dear Parents -- if you promise not to believe everything
your child says happens at school, I'll promise not to believe everything he or she says
happens at home."
From: "Funny Pages Mailing
List" funny-pages@plato.ens.gu.edu.au
Me and a friend of mine, Andy Jones, were both talking about
shaving recently. He made the comment:
"You know, I keep on cutting my tongue when I shave."
"What? How in the world do you do that?"
He replied angrily, "Well okay then, Mr Know-it-all, how do you
clean *your* razor?"
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From: mak@ast.cam.ac.uk (Matthew Kenworthy)
Why is Cinderella such a poor soccer
player?
Because she has a pumpkin for a coach!
Why do gorillas have such big nostrils?
Because they have such big fingers.
What do you get when you cross an elephant with a kangaroo?
A lot of big holes in Australia.
zphhumor jprof@univ.com
WHERE IS GOD?
A couple had two little boys, ages 8 and 10, who were excessively mischievous. The two
were always getting into trouble and their parents could be assured that if any mischief
occurred in their town their two young sons were in some way involved. The parents were at
their wits end as to what to do about their sons' behavior.
The mother had heard that a clergyman in town had been successful in disciplining children
in the past, so she asked her husband if he thought they should send the boys to speak
with the clergyman.
The husband said, "We might as well. We need to do something before I really lose my
temper!"
The clergyman agreed to speak with the boys, but asked to see them individually. The
8-year-old went to meet with him first. The clergyman sat the boy down and asked him
sternly, "Where is God?"
The boy made no response, so the clergyman repeated the question in an even sterner tone,
"Where is God?"
Again the boy made no attempt to answer, so the clergyman raised his voice even more and
shook his finger in the boy's face, "WHERE IS GOD?"
At that the boy bolted from the room and ran directly home slamming himself in his closet.
His older brother followed him into the closet and said, "What happened?"
The younger brother replied, "We are in BIG trouble this time. God is missing and
they think we did it!"
TRUE FACT ...
Humans begin laughing at two to three months of age. Six year
olds laugh about 300 times per day, while adults laugh from 15 to 100 times per day.
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