ALL THE REST —  October 28 & 29
  

 

Today's Quotations –  ENVY:

 


As iron is eaten away by rust, so the envious are consumed by their own passion.

Antisthenes



Anguish and heartbreak may not be distributed very evenly around the world, but they are disributed very widly. If we knew the facts, we would very rarely find someone whose life was to be envied.

Harold Kushner, When Bad Things Happen to Good People



Whenever a friend succeeds, a little something in me dies.

Gore Vidal



The envious die not once, but as oft as the envied win applause.

Baltasar Gracian



IIf a vain man meets a holy man, he will envy only the respect that others show him.

Hart Dass Baba

 

word puzzle
  Today's Word – DIABLERIE
   

 


di-a-ble-rie noun 1. Sorcery; witchcraft. 2. Representation of devils or demons, as in paintings or fiction. 3. Devilish conduct; deviltry. [French, from Old French, from diable, devil, from Latin diabolus.]


Definition from American Heritage Dictionary

 

 

Today's Fact

 


FACT

Don't Duck

The cannons used at Waterloo ranged in weight from 6 to 12 pounds. They were named for the weight of the cannon balls they fired. This was before any powerful propellants were invented. Soldiers often could see the cannon ball as it came straight toward them. It was even more easily visible as it began to bounce.

Why were so many men killed by a cannonball they could see coming toward them? David Howarth, Waterloo: A Guide to the Battlefield (1974), tell us why. It was considered cowardly to duck the cannon ball even if one saw it coming. War must have been much different from war now!

 

Source: More Misinformation, Tom Burnam, 1980


 
And God said, "Let the waters swarm with fish and other life. Let the skies be filled with birds of every kind."

Genesis 1:20

 

clown
Today's SMILE

 

A cheerful heart is good medicine,
but a crushed spirit dries up the bones.
Proverbs 17:22 (NIV)

  
   

 

 

"What sunshine is to flowers, smiles are to humanity. These are but trifles, to be sure; but, scattered along life's pathway, the good they do is inconceivable."

Joseph Addison

 

A FEW SMILES   


But You Can Call Me ...

 The manager of a large office noticed a new man one day and told him to come into his office. "What is your name?" was the first thing the manager asked the new guy.

"John," the new guy replied.

The manager scowled, "Look...I don't know what kind of a mamby-pamby place you worked before, but I don't call anyone by their first name. It breeds familiarity and that leads to a breakdown in authority. I refer to my employees by their last name only...Smith, Jones, Baker...that's all. I am to be referred to only as Mr. Robertson. Now that we got that straight, what is your last name?"

The new guy sighed, "Darling. My name is John Darling."

"Okay John, the next thing I want to tell you is . . ."

The Deaf Mule
An Irishman named O'Leary, who loved to sing as he worked, bought a mule to farm his garden. The mule worked well but was almost totally deaf. So, when his owner yelled, "Whoa!", the animal often continued plowing. Asked how the mule was working out, O'Leary shook his head. "There was a time," he said, "when all the neighbors could here was me singing my lilting melodies." "Lately, I'm afraid, they've heard nothing but .... my riled Irish whoa's!"

    PARKING SPACE:

 1. an unfilled opening in an unending line of cars near an unapproachable fire plug.

2. an unoccupied area along a curb on the opposite side of the street.

3. something you see when you don't have your car.

4. that area that disappears while you are making a U-turn.

The Hearing Aid

An elderly gentleman had serious hearing problems for a number of years. He went to the doctor and the doctor was able to have him fitted for a set of hearing aids that allowed the gentleman to hear 100%.

The elderly gentleman went back in a month to the doctor and the doctor said, "Your hearing is perfect. Your family must be really pleased that you can hear again."

The gentleman replied, "Oh, I haven't told my family yet. I just sit around and listen to the conversations. I've changed my will three times!"

Extreme Sports

Two men are standing at the top of a cliff. One has two budgies, one on each shoulder. The other has a parrot and a shotgun.

The first guy jumps off the cliff and on the way down the birds fly away. He crashes on the rocks below and rolls over on his back. He looks up just in time to see his friend jump off too.

As the second guy falls the & parrot flies off, he pulls up his shot gun and shoots the bird just before he too crashes onto the rocks.

They lie there groaning in agony for a bit before the first guy says, "I really don't see what is supposed to be so great about budgie jumping!"

The second guy lets out a groan and says, "I'm really not too impressed with free fall parrot shooting either!"

TRUE FACT ...

Humans begin laughing at two to three months of age. Six year olds laugh about 300 times per day, while adults laugh from 15 to 100 times per day.

SOURCE: NYT, Dr. William F. Fry, Stanford University

 


My boss hates "yes" men and I have to agree with him.

 


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Soul Food October 28


Today in History for October 28
Today in History for October 29

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Copyright Information: Phillip Bower is not the author of the humor, and does not claim to own any copyright privileges to the jokes. Sources of jokes are listed when known. Birthday's and Happenings for the date, and quotations are public knowledge and collected from numerous sources. Quotations are public knowledge and sources are listed when known. Weekendspirations are written by Tim Knappenberger who has copyright privileges. Cathy Vinson authors Whispers from the Wilderness and owns copyright privileges. Weekendspirations and Whispers from the Wilderness are used with permission by the respective authors. Other devotions are written by Phillip Bower unless otherwise stated. In all cases credit is given when known. The Daily Miscellany is nonprofit. Submissions by readers is welcome.