December 5 -2000 - All the Rest

God hears no more than the heart speaks; and if the heart be dumb, God will certainly be deaf.

- Thomas Brooks

What men usually ask for when they pray to God is, that two and two may not make four.

- Russian Proverb

Prayer indeed is good, but while calling on the gods a man should himself lend a hand.

- Hippocrates Regimen in Health

Unless, before then, the prayer assist me which rises from a heart that lives in grace: what avails the other, which is not heard in heaven.

- Dante Alighieri , The Divine Comedy, Purgatorio. [c. 1310 - 1321]

Six hours in sleep, in law's grave study six, Four spend in prayer, the rest on Nature fix.

- Sir Edward Coke Translation quoted by COKE. From The Pandects Luther

Prayer is the soul's sincere desire,
Uttered or unexpressed;
The motion of a hidden fire
That trembles in the breast.

- James Montgomery What Is Prayer?

Today's Word – SOPORIFIC

sop·o·rif·ic adjective. 1. Inducing or tending to induce sleep. 2. Drowsy. --sop·o·rif·ic noun. A drug or other substance that induces sleep; a hypnotic.

It was certainly the effect of the soporific draught, for, instead of exerting my strength, I sunk without motion, though not without sense, on his shoulder, my limbs refusing to obey my will.

Mary Wollstonecraft
Maria, or the Wrongs of Woman

Definitions from American Heritage Dictionary

Today's Fact

For the Advent season there will be a change on this section of the DM.
There will be a trivia question related to Christmas (not Biblically related)
The Christmas fact will appear on the Advent page - along with a Christmas Inspiration and a Christmas Quotation.


Christmas Trivia

In this section there will be a brief question about the secular side of Christmas. The answer will appear the following day.

TODAY'S QUESTION

What Georgia port city was given as a "Christmas gift" to President Abraham Lincoln in 1864?

Previous Question and Answer:

Question: An important Florida fort was constructed on December 25, 1837, as a defense during the Seminole War. What appropriate name was given to the fort?

Answer: Fort Christmas

Questions and answers from: J. Stephen Lang, The Big Book of American Trivia (Wheaton, IL: Tyndale House Publishers, Inc, 1997).


A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones. Proverbs 17:22 (NIV)

smile6.gif (2723 bytes) The Smart Accountant

An accountant worked for a conglomerate. For the last twenty years, every month he had been diverting a small amount of cash for himself. Finally, came the day he figured he had enough to retire. So he handed in his resignation, put the money in a large suitcase and headed for parts unknown. The airline lost the suitcase.

Unlucky

This fellow was so unlucky in life that once he found a magic lamp, rubbed it and was given the Midas touch by the resident genie. Thereafter, for the rest of his sorrowful life, everything he touched turned into a muffler.

From: Speaker's Encyclopedia of Jokes, Puns, Riddles, Quotations & Alternate Dictionary

Why did Moses wander around the desert for 40 years?
Because even then men wouldn't stop and ask for directions.

Three religious men are discussing when life begins.
1st: Life begins at the moment of conception.
2nd: Life begins at the moment of birth.
3rd: You're both wrong. Life begins when the last child goes to college and the dog dies.

Moses told his followers after he came down from the mountain, "I've got good news and bad news. The good news is I got him down to 10. The bad news is that adultery's still in."

From: Speaker's Encyclopedia of Jokes, Puns, Riddles, Quotations & Alternate Dictionary / Prodigy

The Painting

Mrs. White decided to have her portrait painted. She told the artist, "Paint me with diamond earings, a diamond necklace, emerald bracelets and a ruby pendant."

"But you are not wearing any of those things."

"I know," said Mrs.White. "It's in case I should die before my husband. I'm sure he will remarry right away, and I want his new wife to go nuts looking for the jewelry."

From: John Nunley, Dust off your Funny Bone Mailing List

The boss of a large corporation needed to call one of his employees about an urgent problem with one of the main computers. He dialed the employees home phone number and was greeted with a childs whispered, "Hello?".

Feeling put out at the inconvenience of having to talk to a youngster the boss asked, "Is your Daddy home?".

"Yes.", whispered the small voice.

"May I talk with him?", the man asked.

To the surprise of the boss, the small voice whispered, "No.".

Wanting to talk with an adult, the boss asked, "Is your Mommy there?".

"Yes.", came the answer.

"May I talk with her?".

Again the small voice whispered, "No.".

Knowing that it was not likely that a young child would be left home alone, the boss decided he would just leave a message with the person who should be there watching over the child.

"Is there any one there besides you?", the boss asked the child.

"Yes", whispered the child, "A policeman."

Wondering what a cop would be doing at his employees home, the boss asked, "May I speak with the policeman?".

"No, he is busy.", whispered the child.

"Busy doing what?", asked the boss.

"Talking to Daddy and Mommy and the Fireman.", came the whispered answer.

Growing concerned and even worried as he heard what sounded like a helicopter through the ear piece on the phone the boss asked, "What is that noise?".

" A hello-copper.", answered the whispering voice.

"What is going on there?", asked the boss, now alarmed.

In an awed whispering voice the child answered, "The search team just landed the hello-copper!".

Alarmed, concerned and more than just a little frustrated the boss asked, "Why are they there?".

Still whispering, the young voice replied along with a muffled giggle, "They are looking for me!"

From: Funny Pages Mailing List drinkeii@moose.erie.net

TRUE FACT ...

Humans begin laughing at two to three months of age. Six year olds laugh about 300 times per day, while adults laugh from 15 to 100 times per day.

SOURCE: NYT, Dr. William F. Fry, Stanford University

Copyright Information: Phillip Bower is not the author of the humor, and does not claim to own any copyright privileges to the jokes. Sources of jokes are listed when known. Birthday's and Happenings for the date, and quotations are public knowledge and collected from numerous sources. Quotations are public knowledge and sources are listed when known. Weekendspirations are written by Tim Knappenberger who has copyright privileges. Cathy Vinson authors Whispers from the Wilderness and owns copyright privileges. Weekendspirations and Whispers from the Wilderness are used with permission by the respective authors. Other devotions are written by Phillip Bower unless otherwise stated. In all cases credit is given when known. The Daily Miscellany is nonprofit. Submissions by readers is welcome.

THE REST – December 5

Today's Quotations Prayer

Today's Word – SOPORIFIC

Today's Fact