THE REST –    December 16 & 17
  

 

pointset.gif (8129 bytes)Today's Quotations — Diets and Eating

 

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Food is an important part of a balanced diet.

- Fran Lebowitz

 

Our minds are like our stomachs; they are whetted by the change of their food, and variety supplies both with fresh appetites.

- Quintilian

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Don't be too sweet lest you be eaten up; don't be too bitter lest you be spewed out.

- Jewish Proverb

 

 

 

Thought: Why does man kill? He kills for food. And not only food: frequently there must be a beverage.

- Woody Allen

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N
ever invest in anything that eats or needs repairing.

-  Billy Rose

 

word puzzleToday's Word – Crèche

 


crèche noun 1. A representation of the Nativity, usually with statues or figurines. 2. A hospital for foundlings. 3. Chiefly British. A day nursery. [French, from Old French cresche, crib, of Germanic origin.]

Definitions from American Heritage Dictionary

 

 

Today's Fact

For the Advent season there will be a change on this section of the DM. 
There will be a trivia question related to Christmas (not Biblically related)
 The Christmas fact will appear on the Advent page - along with a Christmas Inspiration and a Christmas Quotation.

Christmas
Trivia

In this section there will be a brief question about the secular side of Christmas. The answer will appear the following day.

 

TODAY'S QUESTION

Wooster, Ohio, saw the introduction of a familiar Christmas item in 1847. What was it? 

 


Previous Question and Answer: 


Question:  National Whiners Day, which first began in 1986, falls on the day after what holiday? 

 Answer: Christmas; presumably the day after Christmas is a good day to whine."
 

Questions and answers from: J. Stephen Lang, The Big Book of American Trivia (Wheaton, IL: Tyndale House Publishers, Inc, 1997).

Merry Christmas

Christmas Quotation, Fact and Inspiration.

 

 

 

clown
Today's SMILE

 

A cheerful heart is good medicine,
but a crushed spirit dries up the bones.


Proverbs 17:22 (NIV)

      

 

Snow White took photos of the Dwarfs and their surroundings. She took the film to be developed.  After a week or so she went to get the finished photos.  The clerk said the photos  were not back from the processor.    Needless to say, she was disappointed and started to cry.  The clerk, trying to console her, said, "Don't worry.  Someday your prints will come."

zphhumor jprof@univ.com


The judge fined a motorist $25 for speeding, and gave him a receipt. 

"What am I supposed to do with this, frame it?" snapped the driver sarcastically. 

"No, save it," replied  the judge.   "When you get three you get a bicycle."

zphhumor jprof@univ.com



A Scout Master was teaching his boy scouts about survival in the desert.  "What are the three most important things you should bring with you in case you get lost in the desert?"  he asked.  Several hands went up, and many important things were suggested such as food, matches, etc.
    
  Then one little boy in the back eagerly raised his hand.  "Yes Timmy, what are the three most important things you would bring with you?" asked the Scout Master. 

Timmy  replied: "A compass, a canteen of water, and a deck of  cards." 

"Why's that Timmy?"  "Well," answered Timmy, "the compass is to find the right direction, the water is to prevent dehydration..."

"And what about the deck of cards?"  asked the Scout Master impatiently.

"Well, Sir, as soon as you start playing Solitaire, someone is bound to come up behind you and say, "Put that red nine on top of that black   ten!" 

zphhumor jprof@univ.com


Several women appeared in court, each accusing the other of the trouble they were having in the apartment building where they lived.  The judge, with Solomon-like wisdom decreed,  "I'll hear the oldest first."  The case was dismissed for lack of testimony.

zphhumor jprof@univ.com


 

A man went to his office and bumped into one of his assistants.

He looked up and muttered, "My word! Look at you. You've lost weight. You've dyed your hair. You've replaced your glasses. You have even grown taller, Mike".

"Sir, my name is not Mike,"; replied the assistant.

"My Goodness! You have even changed your name!"

Speaker's Encyclopedia of Jokes, Puns, Riddles, Quotations & Alternate Dictionary

 



TRUE FACT ...

Humans begin laughing at two to three months of age. Six year olds laugh about 300 times per day, while adults laugh from 15 to 100 times per day.

SOURCE: NYT, Dr. William F. Fry, Stanford University

 

smile

 

Merry Christmas

 

A Cats' Top Ten Favorite Christmas Songs:

Up on the Mousetop

Have Yourself a Furry Little Christmas

Joy to the Curled

I Saw Mommy Hiss at Santa Claus

The First Meow

Oh, Come All Ye Fishful

Silent Mice

Fluffy, the Snowman

Jingle Balls

Wreck the Halls! .


          WINTER WEBLAND
          (Sing to the tune of "Winter Wonderland")

    
             Doorbell rings, I'm not list'nin',
             From my mouth, drool is glist'nin',
              I'm happy -- although
              My boss let me go --
             Happily addicted to the Web.
    
             All night long, I sit clicking,
             Unaware time is ticking,
              There's beard on my cheek,
              Same clothes for a week,
             Happily addicted to the Web!
    
             Friends come by; they shake me, Saying, "Yo, man!
             Don't you know tonight's the senior prom?"
             With a listless shrug, I mutter; I say "No, man;
             I just discovered zondervan-dot-com!"
    
             I don't phone, don't send faxes,
             Don't go out, don't pay taxes,
              Who cares if someday
              They drag me away?
             I'm happily addicted to the Web!
    
             Happ-ilyyyyy, ad-dict-eeeed to the Weeeeeb!!!

ZONDERVAN PUBLISHING HOUSE E-MAIL ALERT SERVICE

 




 

The Night Before Christmas
A firefighter's Story

Twas the night before Christmas and all through the town, the fire siren echoed blaring its sound. 
The firefighters came running from far and from near, and raced to the trucks quickly donning their gear. 

And I in my bunkers my boots and my hat, jumped to the engine to see where the fire's at. 

Down at the corner of Fifth and of Oak, the dispatcher informed us of a house filled with smoke. 

Smoke poured from the sides, from up and from down, yet up on the roof there was none to be found. 

So up to the rooftop we raised up a ladder, and climbed to the top to see what was the matter. 

I came to the chimney and what did I see, but a fellow in red stuck past his knees. 

Well we tugged and we pulled until he came out, then he winked with his eye and said with a shout. 

"These darn newfangled chimneys they make them too small, for a fellow as I, not skinny at all." 

With a twitch of his nose he dashed to his sleigh, and called to his reindeer, "AWAY now, AWAY." 

As we rolled up our hoses he flew out of sight, saying "God bless our firefighters" and to all a good night. 

 




 

 

What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus?
Claustrophobic.


What do you do if Santa gets stuck in your chimney?
Pour Santa flush on him.


What do snowmen eat for breakfast?
Snowflakes.

 


Daily Miscellany Comics

 

Have A Great Day

Phill Bower

 


Soul Food December 16 & 17


Today in History December 16
Today in History December 17

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Send Mail to pbower@neo.rr.com

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Copyright Information: Phillip Bower is not the author of the humor, and does not claim to own any copyright privileges to the jokes. Sources of jokes are listed when known. Birthday's and Happenings for the date, and quotations are public knowledge and collected from numerous sources. Quotations are public knowledge and sources are listed when known. Weekendspirations are written by Tim Knappenberger who has copyright privileges. Cathy Vinson authors Whispers from the Wilderness and owns copyright privileges. Weekendspirations and Whispers from the Wilderness are used with permission by the respective authors. Other devotions are written by Phillip Bower unless otherwise stated. In all cases credit is given when known. The Daily Miscellany is nonprofit. Submissions by readers is welcome.