by Tim Knappenberger

Today was an ordinary Sunday like all other Sundays. I taught my adult Bible school class on the issue of giving up idols. In all truth, Michael Wells (Abiding Life Ministries, International), via videotape, did the teaching. The central concept in Michael’s message was how God will allow the trials and fires of life to wear out our idols (anything other than Christ that we use to cope with life). This has been a hard, but extremely important teaching for me in recent years. Many things that I’ve used to cope with life and have been taught were admirable pursuits, I’ve been more recently forced to look upon as idols. Educational achievements; my positive reputation; my marriage; an ordered and predictable life. Throughout most of my life, I’ve sought comfort and solace in such as these instead of in Christ my Lord. Later in the day, the truths of the Bible lesson would again be taught to me through unfolding events.

Because my home church and I do not share the same tastes for powerful, Spirit-led praise and preaching, I will periodically attend other nearby congregations that are seeking these things. One such congregation is The House of the Lord in Akron, Ohio pastored by Joey Johnson. Listening to Pastor Johnson’s Spirit-anointed preaching, gathering with the multi-cultural assembly of Believers (80% African-American / 20% Caucasian), and bathing in a praise time that just won’t quit, I find a spiritual hunger within me filled. But even though I’m fed from these occasional "defections," I have to do so alone. My wife and eldest son do not share the same hunger for these things as do I. I must admit that my youngest does enjoy attending with me when I go, although today he was unavailable. So today after class I felt the need to leave my church and to worship and praise elsewhere.

On the way to Akron I was having a conversation with God I’ve had numerous times in recent years. I prayed for understanding from Him to know that worshipping without my family was all right. I examined the sincerity of my motives for driving to another city to attend another worship service. I questioned the Lord yet again about how long this struggle with being unsatisfied where I was worshipping, yet not feeling free to leave would go on. During the entire drive, the verse that kept running through my mind was, "As the deer pants for streams of water, so my soul pants for you, Oh God." That was the answer to my queries. That was the only acceptable motivation and explanation for my going to The House of the Lord. I wanted only to praise the name of Jesus; to seek the presence of His Spirit; to offer up a sacrifice of praise; and to please my Lord. Pulling into the church’s parking lot, I found peace in those reasons.

Upon arriving, I was greeted, handed a bulletin and directed to an open pew near the back. As I casually looked down at the bulletin’s cover my breathing halted and my eyes quickly filled with tears. There looking back at me was a deer and above the deer the words "As the deer pants for streams of water, so my soul pants for you,…." Coincidence? A few moments later while preparing for the time of praise (and reminiscent of earlier lesson on idolatry I had just taught), the praise leader enjoined the congregation to "release those things you are clutching and to offer up your life and voice as a sacrifice of praise to our Living God." Another coincidence? Don’t tell that to my heart and spirit. It might have only been a picture of a deer with Psalm 42:1 superimposed over it and a call to worship issued by the song leader, but that’s not what I saw nor what I heard. What I heard was God’s reassuring voice telling me He was pleased with my hunger and desire to seek Him and to worship Him. That it was, in fact, very all right for me to be there in that company of Believers. That my seeking and wanting to draw nearer to Him had not escaped His notice. You see, today, God spoke. He spoke to me.

(Psalm 42:1)