tunneling onward
inward and darker
breaking things, and seeing too much
I wish I could speak
but dare not reach for another
I'm mine forever
and shan't trouble others
with love dying, and fairy tales twisting
to madness
for you don't deserve me
not one should suffer
if I only hold hurt, let's keep it under cover
smiling ever wider
as I slide by the watchers
wave farewell
hellbound
lying lover

descendant of madness, I've run far too long
not knowing I've always been wrong
broken before I was born
but I clutched my pieces
denying I'll never be free, 'til I leave
like father, who wouldn't give in
I see how he faltered and lived
I try not to fight the darkness
try not to want
it only hurts when I hope
getting so weary, I no longer suffer
save asking myself why I loved Her
sweet amorous Earth
you wooed me with futures
and left me an eyeful of hopelessness
a free pass to watch as we shatter
you don't deserve this, but you're breaking up
void again
damned laws of nature
I tried to love you

deeper and darker
I almost find peace
just wishing you wouldn't worry
I'm free and you shouldn't miss me
soon he'll be here-- another lover you can't see
the tunnel's hard distance piles on
I wonder if I could return
but disparity accrues
I'll never be with you
I guess it's gonna get quiet
here's hoping I won't even be
thus descendant of evil streaks the tunnel with sin
father pulled the ace from his sleeve
now grins and watches me bleed
I minimize his delight
smile wide, boy, enjoy your ride
something truly cold brushes my face
but I shatter all mirrors away
since I can't get Her any way

void surrounds
holds me against everything
the final card up its sleeve
a missionary disaster, mockery of God
void über alles
obscenely everywhere anarchy
beyond itself, rooted in rootlessness
supremely worthless
as it comes for me I'm wanting it
the crucial mistake; I forgot not to hope
thus dreaming again, firing my chest
breathing and burning for nothing
try to fly through the sun
hope the void thinks it's won
thus descendant of despair tricks himself again
trying to outthink the thoughtless
like throwing rocks at a wall
hoping people will fall
but then
I've nothing better to do


descendant of doubt shall rise forth from craving
forget these fires, and raise his walls of illusion
he'll dream on along hollow people
never quite deigning to care
when he spies on night, he'll run for the light
for darkness naturally finds him
and conflict creates all worlds
he'll seek imagination's surfeit
dream once more to be human
yearn for Her warmth, boy, want to be wanton
to divinely sheath mortal clay
thus upon sex's symmetry
spins this world one more day

descendant of desire
wandered but tired
I feel like I never left home




© G.Cassel 2004