These are my ponderings, thoughts about life in graduate school, based on Aaron Karo's Ruminations. They're fictional entertainment and not criticism so don't sue me. - rani
Ponderings #5 - thanksgiving
Hey, it's been a while, but it's back.
Well it's that time again that you've been waiting for so eagerly, so enthusiastically. You're ready and prepared and waiting to jump out of your ...uh... seat. And here it comes!!!! It's the ...
exam.
Yeah, it's been a while hasn't it? There you were in undergraduate days with a good old "test" or "exam" and you stayed up nights like it was a breeze and sweated em out but pulled through okay. And now, you sit poring over the work, working on it, chewing your gum so hard it pops out and
lands on the next guy's neatly typed exam! Ha ha ha - the sweet smell of inadvertant sabotage!
The funny thing about exams is that you've really forgotten how to do them. I think I vaguely remember that an exam had something to do with yellow pencils and blue and white sheets with circles on them. Let's not go there. But these...well, why don't they just chain us in the basement and feed us donuts and coffee and soda and whip us occasionally, the way
it's supposed to be? Our little organs we sit on will get soft and
delicate this way (I mean our brains)....
Then we'll have soft brains and be less productive you know. The hard work makes us about as productive as...4 year olds...which is saying a LOT.
But research isn't the only thing that suffers from classes and
exams. What about sleep? What about food? What about a life? As graduate students, we have a responsibility to uphold the status quo, the high standards of graduate life. And that means not having one. As we are forced into a classroom structure, we become suddenly self-aware of our clothes, which start to tickle the noses of our neighbors (no, that's not the smell of fabric softener). As we sit in long lectures, we
hear entire volumes emanating from our bodies in hunger (not for knowledge). And we begin to suffer from that sudden ability and need to disappear into another world that is neither research nor group meeting - no, it is the world of slumber.
Suddenly, midnight has a new meaning. It means going out to party, snacking and drinking, and going to a bed that isn't the couch in the nearest lounge. Roommates whom we once regarded to be rodents or perhaps the building janitor now become vaguely familiar, and we learn to tolerate
them for more than their ability to cook. And the bars become inhabited at 3 a.m. after a strenuous weekend and the complete serene calm that comes after turning in an exam.
And there we are, sitting down, not over a desk or a lab bench, with a handled glass instead of a beaker in our hands, reminiscing about the sad old days when all we had was research. And we bow our heads and give thanks.
Happy Thanksgiving!
Life as a Graduate Student - tests and exams?