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a) bear with it, or b) e-mail me with suggestions
When I was young, my parents taught me that just because everybody
else was doing something, that didn't necessarily make it right. I lived
in small country towns, with no movie theatres within several hours drive,
no commercial television, and minimal commercial radio. This upbringing
has had two profound effects on me.
1. A complete contempt for advertisers and the advertising industry,
and
2. A deep questioning of many societal attitudes, and the ethics or
otherwise of such attitudes.
One Christmas, my grandparents asked my parents what Santa had bought
Kaarin for Christmas. My mother replied that she hadn't discussed the issue,
but she didn't think that David would be having Santa in his house. She
was right, and this prompted me to solidify in my mind the reasons why
I thought Santa was inappropriate in the 90's given I had him in the 70's.
1. Mixed message #1 - 'Stranger Danger'
It dawned on me as I watched mother after mother force young screaming
terrified children onto this guys lap, that children at young ages are
naturally scared of him before they receive their heavy dose of social
conditioning. This would be natural, for we teach children who it is they
are safe around; that is, our families and our friends with whom we have
regular contact. We also teach children, at a very young age what types
of behaviour are inappropriate with those people who we do not have a relationship
or regular contact with. We call this 'stranger danger'. Don't walk off
with strangers. Don't talk to people you don't know. Don't let people you
don't know touch you. Don't accept lollies from strangers.
Would you tell your child to go and sit on the lap of an eccentric
middle aged stranger who asks them what they would like? Would you tell
your child to accept lollies from such a person. That's what we do when
we take children to Santa, and the mixed messages scream out to children.
Every principle we've taught gets thrown out the window.
To deny this, says that you either believe that children are incapable
of learning the difference between friend and stranger or that the thought
of your child being abducted or abused by a stranger does not concern you.
2. Mixed message #2 - 'How safe is our house'
Growing up in a small country town, security concerns were pretty minimal.
In the cities, people have always locked their houses, but the 'security
industry' has hit top gear in recent times. We don't just lock doors on
our houses, we 'secure' them. Not content to lock and bold all windows
and doors, we fit security systems with security codes that need to be
alarmed and dis-armed when we leave or re enter the house. We put up security
lights around the house so we know when someone enters our property in
the dark. Even our backyard shed becomes a tightly locked fortress.
This extends beyond our houses. Not only are car alarms increasingly standard,
we don't even leave the hint of valuable within them. Shops and banks are
littered with security devices and signs advertising their existence.
What do our children think when they see all this. We hope they learn
the importance of security; not to leave valuables lying around where they
can be taken. To always lock the house when they leave so burglars can't
get in. We even show them how to operate our security systems. We comfort
our children with the thought that we are safe in our own houses.
Then Santa comes along; the world's greatest break and enter artist. He gets past these systems and gets into our houses during the night. I have know of children who have become distraught over this mans ability to get into their house, knowing that the house is always secured. This is a concerning mixed message that will become increasingly relevant over time.
2. Is greed good?
We all want to teach our children attributes that will hold them in good stead We often teach them that we should not be greedy Greed is good
3. The Nature of Truth
'What is truth?' Truth is a central concept in our formulation of who we are. Truth dictates to us a great deal of our what and why of our actions.
When we are infants, we learn about truth and its link to consistency. In the physical world, properties exist which are constant and that we can assertion through our own experience. That is; I hit myself on the head with a rattle. It caused an unpleasant sensation (pain) which I find undesirable to which I react adversely. I can repeat this experiment on someone else (sibling) and find that they react in a similar way. Therefore, I should not repeat this action on myself, (unless I wish to inflict pain in order to more effectively receive attention from others) because it is true that this action will consistently cause pain, which is consistently an unpleasant sensation. As we develop and we begin to understand phrases spoken by authorities over us, such as 'don't do that or you will hurt yourself' and we come to trust these statements as they have proved to be consistently true. Our experience of life causes us to believe statements by those in authority over us to be true, which then subsequently help dictate our future experiences. That is, experience is moulded by living within those boundaries set by superiors which often serves to affirm them as being true in as much as the boundaries effect the truthfulness of the statement. i.e. don't do X or I will punish you.
We are treading on very dangerous grounds when we as parents (and teachers) teach something as fact, which we know to be a lie. Children are not stupid. Herein lies an important distinction; fantasy and distruths. I encourage the use of imagination. But there is a difference between pretending with children, and teaching facts. When we pretend that we are having a tea party, my daughter and I both know that there is in fact, no hot tea in our teapot. She knows that I am playing the game with her.
Issues of trust. Do you want your children to trust you? Of course you do. Do you want your children to be taught in our schools that there is nobody who they can trust, including their parents? Well, in these days where children are taught that they should not have to tolerate violent family lives, they are taught that even their parents can not be trusted. What's this got to do with Santa. There's also an anti nuclear family agenda by some within the education department, and this is used to their advantage. What messages are going on here - 1. We tell you not to trust your parents 2. Your parents have knowingly lied to you and deceived you before 3. They probably lie about other stuff. 4. Therefore, do not trust your parents.
2. Religious Meanings
It may come as a surprise that I've placed such a small importance
on Religious meanings - Why do we need to degrade our Christian beliefs
with what everyone else is doing. What makes us stand out as a Christian?
There certainly was religious meaning in the historical St Nicholas, but
that all evaporated with the intrusion of Coca Cola.