Allen, Fred

"I have just returned from Boston. It is the only thing to do if you find yourself up there."

"Hollywood is a place where people from Iowa mistake each other for a star."

"Committee - a group of men who individually can do nothing but as a group decide that nothing can be done."

"A celebrity is a person who works hard all his life to become well known, and then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognised."

"Most of us spend the first six days of each week sowing wild oats, then we go to church on Sunday and pray for a crop failure."

"A celebrity is a person who works hard all his life to become well known, then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognised." - Treadmill to Oblivion