Anonymous

"He's a self made man and he worships his creator."

"Would the boy you were be proud of the man you are?"

"Rationalising is the bringing of ideals down to one's conduct. Repentance is bringing one's conduct up to the level of his ideals."

"Middle Age - When you want to see how long your car will last instead of how fast it will go."

"If you put a billion monkeys in front of a billion typewriters typing at random, they would reproduce the entire collected works of Usenet in about...five minutes."

"Want to make your computer go really fast? Throw it out the window!"

"Never argue with a fool - people might not know the difference."

"Bigamy is having one husband too many. Monogamy is the same."

"By the time a man realises that his father was usually right, he has a son who thinks he's usually wrong."

"I inherited my ability from both my parents; my mother's ability for spending money, and my father's ability for not making it."

"Mummy, mummy, what's an orgasm? I dunno. Ask your father."

"Vote early and vote often."

"God is not dead. He is alive and working; working on a less ambitious project."

"He who Laughs, Lasts."

"The fewer facts you have in support of an opinion, the stronger your emotional attachment to that opinion."

"The secret of teaching is to appear to have known all your life what you just learned this morning."