Rogers, Will

"Diplomats are just as essential to starting a war as soldiers are for finishing it.... You take diplomacy out of war, and the thing would fall flat in a week."

"We can't all be heroes because someone has to sit on the curb and clap as they go by."

"Everything is funny as long as it is happening to someone else."

"Never let yesterday use up too much of today."

"In Hollywood the woods are full of people that learned to write but evidently can't read. If they could read their stuff, they'd stop writing."

"There is nothing so stupid as an educated man, if you get off the thing he was educated in."

"The minute you read something you can't understand, you can almost be sure it was drawn up by a lawyer."

"I can remember way back when a liberal was one who was generous with his own money."

"I hope we never live to see the day when a thing is as bad as some of our newspapers make it."

"I don't make jokes - I just watch the government and report the facts." - quoted in Saturday Review

"You can't say civilisation don't advance, however, for in every war they kill you in a new way." - The Autobiography of Will Rogers

"A Country can get more real joy out of just Hollering for their Freedom than they can if they get it." - The Autobiography of Will Rogers

"Half our life is spent trying to find something to do with the time we have rushed through life trying to save." - The Autobiography of Will Rogers

"This thing of being a hero, about the main thing to do is to know when to die. Prolonged life has ruined more men than it ever made." - The Autobiography of Will Rogers

"Communism is like Prohibition, it's a good idea but it won't work." - The Autobiography of Will Rogers