Shaw, George Bernard

"Some men see things as they are and say why? I dream things that never were and say 'Why not?'"

"If you have an apple and I have an apple and we exchange these apples then you and I will still each have one apple. But if you have an idea and I have an idea and we exchange these ideas, then each of us will have two ideas."

"Reasonable people adapt themselves to the world. Unreasonable people attempt to adapt the world to themselves. All progress, therefore, depends on unreasonable people."

"The longer I live the more I see that I am never wrong about anything, and that all the pains that I have so humbly taken to verify my notions have only wasted my time."

"Success does not consist in never making mistakes but in never making the same one a second time."

"If all economists were laid end to end, they would not reach a conclusion."

"It is dangerous to be sincere unless you are also stupid."

"Common sense is instinct. Enough of it is genius."

"The reasonable man adapts himself to the world; the unreasonable one persists in trying to adapt the world to himself. Therefore all progress depends on the unreasonable man."

"There is only one religion, though there are a hundred versions of it."

"Patriotism is a pernicious, psychopathic form of idiocy."

"Patriotism is your conviction that this country is superior to all other countries because you were born in it."

"Democracy: The substitution of election by the incompetent many for appointment by the corrupt few."

"Some men see things as they are and ask why. Others dream things that never were and ask why not."

"A drama critic is a man who leaves no turn unstoned."

"Youth is a wonderful thing. What a crime to waste it on children."

"All my life affection has been showered upon me, and every forward step I have made has been taken in spite of it."

"I'm only a beer teetotaller, not a champagne teetotaller. I don't like beer."

"If you cannot get rid of the family skeleton, you may as well make it dance."

"The power of accurate observation is commonly called cynicism by those who have not got it."

"He who can does. He who can't, teaches."

"If parents would only realise how they bore their children!"

"Hatred is the coward's revenge for being intimidated."

"The liar's punishment is not in the least that he is not believed but that he cannot believe anyone else."

"Love is a gross exaggeration of the difference between one person and everybody else."

"Money is the most important thing in the world. It represents health, strength, honour, generosity and beauty as conspicuously as the want of it represents illness, weakness, disgrace, meanness and ugliness."

"The seven deadly sins...Food, clothing, firing, rent, taxes, respectability and children. Nothing can lift those seven millstones from man's neck but money; and the spirit cannot soar until the millstones are lifted."

"Patriotism is your conviction that this country is superior to all others because you were born in it."

"Do you know what a pessimist is? A person who thinks everybody as nasty as himself, and hates them for it."

"Capitalism has destroyed our belief in any effective power but that of self interest backed by force."

"Christianity might be a good thing if anyone ever tried it."

"The more things a man is ashamed of, the more respectable he is."

"Silence is the most perfect expression of scorn."

"The trouble with her is that she lacks the power of conversation but not the power of speech."

"Do not do unto others as you would that they should do unto you. Their tastes may not be the same."

"The love of economy is the root of all virtue."

"Censorship ends in logical completeness when nobody is allowed to read any books except the books that nobody reads."

"The man who writes about himself and his own time is the only man who writes about all people and about all time."

"Dancing is a perpendicular expression of a horizontal desire." - attributed

"When a stupid man is doing something he is ashamed of, he always declares that it is his duty." - Caesar and Cleopatra

"We have no more right to consume happiness without producing it than to consume wealth without producing it." - Candida

"A government which robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend on the support of Paul." - Everybody's Political What's What

"If you go to Heaven without being naturally qualified for it, you will not enjoy yourself there." - Man and Superman (1903)

"If history repeats itself, and the unexpected always happens, how incapable must Man be of learning from experience!" - Man and Superman (1903)

"A lifetime of happiness! No man alive could bear it: it would be hell on earth." - Man and Superman (1903)

"Do not do unto others as you would they should do unto you. Their tastes may not be the same." - Man and Superman (1903), Maxims for Revolutionists: The Golden Rule

"A moderately honest man with a moderately faithful wife, moderate drinkers both, in a moderately healthy house: that is the true middle class unit." - Man and Superman, 'The Revolutionist's Handbook'

"Liberty means responsibility. That is why most men dread it." - Man and Superman, 'The Revolutionist's Handbook'

"Gambling promises the poor what Property performs for the rich." - Man and Superman, 'The Revolutionist's Handbook'

"There are two tragedies in life. One is not to get your heart's desire. The other is to get it." - Man and Superman, 'The Revolutionist's Handbook'

"An Englishman thinks he is moral when he is only uncomfortable." - Man and Superman, 'The Revolutionist's Handbook'

"There is no love sincerer than the love of food." - Man and Superman, 'The Revolutionist's Handbook'

"Democracy substitutes election by the incompetent many for appointment by the corrupt few." - Man and Superman, 'The Revolutionist's Handbook'

"As long as I have a want, I have a reason for living. Satisfaction is death." - Overruled

"The English have no respect for their language, and will not teach their children to speak it. . . . It is impossible for an Englishman to open his mouth, without making some other Englishman despise him." - Pygmalion

"The worst sin towards our fellow creatures is not to hate them, but to be indifferent to them: that's the essence of inhumanity." - The Devil's Disciple

"Fashions, after all, are only induced epidemics." - The Doctor's Dilemma

"The fickleness of the women I love is only equalled by the infernal constancy of the women who love me." - The Philanderer

"Assassination is the extreme form of censorship." - The Rejected Statement