"Anyone who is capable of getting themselves made President should on no account be allowed to do the job." - Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

"The trouble with this country is that there are too many politicians who believe, with a conviction based on experience, that you can fool all of the people all of the time." - Franklin P. Adams, Nods and Becks

"I hate liberality - nine times out of ten it is cowardice, and the tenth time lack of principle." - Henry Addington

"Man is by nature a political animal." - Aristotle, Politics, book I, ch. 2

"CONSERVATIVE, n. A statesman who is enamoured of existing evils, as distinguished from the Liberal, who wishes to replace them with others." - Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary

"Democracy means despair of finding any heroes to govern you, and contented putting up with the want of them." - Thomas Carlyle, Past and Present

"The inherent vice of capitalism is the unequal sharing of blessings. The inherent virtue of socialism is the equal sharing of miseries." - Sir Winston Churchill

"No one pretends that democracy is perfect or all-wise. Indeed, it has been said that democracy is the worst form of government except all those other forms that have been tried from time to time." - Sir Winston Churchill, speech (1947)

"When I was a boy I was told that anybody could become President. I'm beginning to believe it." - Clarence S. Darrow

"A conservative government is an organised hypocrisy." - Benjamin Disraeli, speech (1845)

"A liberal is a man who is willing to spend somebody else's money." - Carter Glass, quoted in New York Times

"Avoid all needle drugs - the only dope worth shooting is Richard Nixon." - Abbie Hoffman

"A little rebellion now and then is a good thing, and as necessary in the political world as storms in the physical." - Thomas Jefferson

"Ninety percent of the politicians give the other ten percent a bad reputation." - Henry Kissinger

"Among free men there can be no successful appeal from the ballot to the bullet." - Abraham Lincoln, letter (1863)

". . . government of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not perish from the earth." - Abraham Lincoln, speech (address at Gettysburg, 1863)

"'A Foreign Secretary' is forever poised between the cliché and the indiscretion." - Harold MacMillan, comment made in Parliament

"Communism destroys democracy. Democracy can also destroy Communism." - Andre Malraux

"A politician is an animal which can sit on a fence and yet keep both ears to the ground." - Henry Louis Mencken

"Democracy is the theory that the common people know what they want, and deserve to get it good and hard." - Henry Louis Mencken, A Little Book in C Major

"Socialism is a fraud, a comedy, a phantom, a blackmail." - Benito Mussolini

"All animals are equal, but some animals are more equal than others." - George Orwell, Animal Farm

"As with the Christian religion, the worst advertisement for Socialism is its adherents." - George Orwell, The Road to Wigan Pier

"Government, even in its best state, is but a necessary evil; in its worst state an intolerable one." - Thomas Paine, Common Sense

"To do evil that good may come of it is for bunglers in politics as well as mortals." - William Penn

"Public office is the last refuge of a scoundrel." - Boise Penrose

"I can remember way back when a liberal was one who was generous with his own money." - Will Rogers

"Communism is like Prohibition, it's a good idea but it won't work." - Will Rogers, The Autobiography of Will Rogers

"Capitalism has destroyed our belief in any effective power but that of self interest backed by force." - George Bernard Shaw

"Democracy substitutes election by the incompetent many for appointment by the corrupt few." - George Bernard Shaw, Man and Superman, 'The Revolutionist's Handbook'

"All the ills of democracy can be cured by more democracy." - Alfred E. Smith, speech (1933)

"Communism is the death of the soul. It is the organisation of total conformity - in short, of tyranny - and it is committed to making tyranny universal." - Adlai E. Stevenson

"Communism is the corruption of a dream of justice." - Adlai E. Stevenson, speech (1951)

"Politics is perhaps the only profession for which no preparation is thought necessary." - Robert Louis Stevenson

"There is no distinctly American criminal class, except Congress." - Mark Twain

"[democracy]. . . the people's government made for the people, made by the people, and answerable to the people." - Daniel Webster, speech (1830)

"Democracy is the recurrent suspicion that more than half of the people are right more than half of the time." - Elwyn Brooks White, in New Yorker

"History is not going to be kind to liberals. With their mindless programs, they've managed to do to Black Americans what slavery, Reconstruction, and rank racism found impossible: destroy their family and work ethic." - Walter Williams

"The world must be made safe for democracy." - Woodrow Wilson, speech (to Congress, seeking a declaration of war, 1917)

"We Americans live in a nation where the medical-care system is second to none in the world, unless you count maybe 25 or 30 little scuzzball countries like Scotland that we could vaporize in seconds if we felt like it." - Barry, Dave

"Elections are about fucking your enemies. Winning is about fucking your friends." - Carville, James [advisor to Bill Clinton's 1992 presidential campaign]

"How can you govern a country which has 246 varieties of cheese?" - DeGaulle, Charles

"Under capitalism, man exploits man. Under communism, it's just the opposite." - Galbraith, John Kenneth (1908- )

"The word 'politics' is derived from the word 'poly', meaning 'many', and the word 'ticks', meaning 'blood sucking parasites'." - Hardiman, Larry

"The genius of you Americans is that you never make clear-cut stupid moves, only complicated stupid moves which make us wonder at the possibility that there may be something to them we are missing." - Nasser, Gamel Abdel

"My fellow Americans, I am pleased to tell you I just signed legislation which outlaws Russia forever. The bombing begins in five minutes." - Reagan, Ronald in a radio broadcast test

"
Politics is supposed to be the second oldest profession. I have come to realize that it bears a very close resemblance to the first."
- Reagan, Ronald

"Censorship reflects society's lack of confidence in itself. It is a hallmark of an authoritative regime.-- Stewart, Potter [Supreme Court Justice]" -

"CONSERVATIVE, n. A statesman who is enamored of existing evils, as distinguished from the Liberal, who wishes to replace them with others." - AMBROSE BIERCE, The Devil's Dictionary

"The healthy stomach is nothing if not conservative. Few radicals have good digestions." - SAMUEL BUTLER (d 1902), Note-Books

"There is always a certain meanness in the argument of conservatism, joined with a certain superiority in its fact." - RALPH WALDO EMERSON, The Conservative

"To be absolutely honest, what I feel really bad about is that I don't feel worse. There's the ineffectual liberal's problem in a nutshell." - MICHAEL FRAYN, in The Observer

"I never dared be radical when young
For fear it would make me conservative when old."
- ROBERT FROST, Precaution

"I do not know which makes a man more conservative - to know nothing but the present, or nothing but the past." - JOHN MAYNARD KEYNES, The End of Laissez-Faire