FEBRUARY 98
Maraudian Hotels, part of the Grandad empire, is set to announce expansion plans that will lead to 250 new digital hotels being developed over the next year reports the Sunday Teagraph. Saikred Cau, the newly appoined chief executive of British Digital Hotels, is expected to offer pay per stay hotel rooms, interactive 'room service' and special themed rooms such as the HOTEL GOLD which will enable guests to re-live previous stays at hotels by putting yesterday's paper in the room.
A multi-billion pound bidding war has broken out over the TV rights to the new version of The Professionals, reports producer David Wicks. Apparently companies queuing up to buy the rights include the BBC, Grandad TV, ICI, Microsoft and NASA. 'They'd better sign soon, because the price is going up every day.' When asked how much it was currently Wickes said, 'Oooh, hundreds.' Simon Wicks was not available for comment as he is on location shooting a new version of Top Cat.
BBC Inc. may stop broadcasting cricket, as the Vulture Secretary Chris Smith has decreed that England's home Test matches can only be broadcast by 'whoever can be arsed.' Logistically and economically speaking, the BBC can not really be arsed to show any minority programming any more. 'It's shit, no-one watches it and it makes fuck all money', said a wealthy spokesman. It is possible that Cricket fans will have to make do with recorded highlights, or play with their plasticine.
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