When Yaakov has his dream about the ladder, he has a vision of Hashem, Who tells him, "I am Hashem, the Lord of Avraham, your father, and the Lord of Yitzchok
(Bereishis 28:13)"
The obvious question is why does the Pasuk refer to Avraham as Yaakov's father. Especially since the Pasuk goes on to mention his real father, Yitzchok!
The Kli Yakar gives two answers. His second answer is that the Torah refers to Avraham as Yaakov's father to teach you that grandchildren are like children.
This is a very special idea.
Rav Ilan Segal and his Chumash Shiur at Reishis Yerushalayim were Mechadeish the following idea:
In Parashas Chayei Sarah, the Pasuk reads, "And Avraham was old, he came with his days, and Hashem blessed Avraham with 'everything.' (Bereishis 24:1)" Then the Torah goes into the story about how Avraham sent Eliezer to find a wife for Yitzchok.
Rashi (apparently bothered with how this Pasuk serves as an introduction to the "wife for Yitzchok" story) explains that 'everything (BaKoL)' is numerically equal to 'son (BeN).' Since Avraham had a son, he had to find him a wife. By saying that Hashem blessed Avraham with 'everything,' the Pasuk is telling us that Hashem blessed Avraham with a son. Now we can understand how this Pasuk serves as the introduction to the "wife for Yitzchok" story.
Okay, so why doesn't the Pasuk simply say, "And Hashem blessed Avraham with a son?!" Apparently, the Torah is trying to tell us something more than that.
In Parashas Lech Lecha, Hashem promises Avraham great wealth (Bereishis 15:1). Avraham responds, "Of what worth is riches to me? I have no children." Rashi explains that the riches serve no function without children.
All the wealth is worthless without continuity, without children to pass it on to. Without children, Avraham has nothing.
This is what Rashi is referring to in Chayei Sarah, when he writes that 'everything' is numerically equal to 'son.' Once Avraham had a son, everything he had became meaningful, everything he was, would now be passed on to future generations.
However, continuity of only one generation is not sufficient. Now that Avraham had 'everything,' he had a son, now that son had to marry. Continuity must endure.
Ad Kan Divrei HaRav Segal VeTalmidav.
Avraham was not living for temporal wealth. The riches were only meaningful to him if they could be passed on to support the next generation, to free them from the constraints of mundane reality. However, continuity does not end one generation later. Jews live for the future, not just a one-generational future, but rather, grandchildren are like children. That is one aspect of what the Pasuk is trying to teach us by referring to Avraham as Yaakov's father.
It is no coincidence that the number three is central to Judaism. In Pirkei Avos we repeatedly find the number three. The Men of the Great Assembly said three things, the world stands on three things, etc. Most, if not all of the Mishnayos in the first Perek, can be divided into threes. Many people think that this structure is maintained, because for some reason, the number three is easier to remember (and after all, Mishanyos were meant to be memorized). That may be true, however, it is much deeper than that.
Why does the world stand on three things? The idea can be compared to a stool. If a stool has just two legs, it does not take much to knock it down. However, if a stool has three legs, it cannot be easily overturned. The number three represents continuity. Continuity can be expressed as: Father + Mother = Baby.
The Rambam (Mishna Torah, Hilchos Deos) writes that a person must strive for the golden mean in almost every personality characteristic. A person must not be stingy, but at the same time, must not give away all his money either. He goes on to say that this is what G-d commanded us through the Mitzva to imitate Hashem. The golden mean cannot be a compromise between two extremes, because that would not be imitating Hashem. Hashem is not, G-d forbid, a compromise between two extremes. Rather, Hashem is a perfect blend of all extremes. If a person appropriates his time properly, then he can blend all of the extremes. There is a time for everything. That, is the golden mean.
When it comes to character traits, there are two extremes (a father and a mother, as it were), which perfectly blended, result in a child. The child is the perfect blend of his mother and father. A baby is therefore continuity for his parents, and all that came before him. Once you have a child, you have continuity, something which cannot easily be overturned.
The world exists in the same way. The world stands on three things: Torah, Avoda and Gemilus Chasadim. The two extremes are Chesed and Avoda (Gevurah), and perfectly blended, result in Torah.
This is what Yaakov was among the Avos. He was the third forefather, therefore he blended the characteristics of his fathers, Chesed and Gevurah into his characteristic of Emes (truth), and brought it all into reality, into the house of Lavan.
Lavan embodied the exact opposite of continuity. I heard from Rav Goldwicht that Lavan stands for "Lo Ben (not a son)." The first time we meet Lavan (Bereishis 24:29), he is running out to greet Eliezer. Why did he run out to greet him? The next thing the Pasuk tells us, is that he heard about the jewelry Eliezer had given to Rivka.
Everyone knows the Midrash on this week's Parasha that Rashi quotes (Bereishis 29:13) to answer why Lavan hugged and kissed Yaakov repeatedly: He was searching for pearls that Yaakov might have been hiding in his mouth!
Lavan was not concerned with wealth for the sake of continuity. He was concerned with wealth for the simple luxury that it provides. For Lavan, wealth was not a means, but rather it was an end. He was "Lo Ben" because continuity did not matter to him. He was living for the "now," a life of carpe diem.
Lavan also means "white." A Sefer Torah is written with black letters on a white background. Something is expressed the most, when it emerges against its exact opposite. That is why Yaakov had to go to the house of Lavan. Yaakov had twelve sons, all of which would become the Shevatim (the twelve tribes). Unlike his fathers, who only achieved continuity for Clal Yisroel through one of their sons, Yaakov was an "Ish Tam," all of his children would provide continuity for the Jewish people. All of that came on a background of "white." That continuity came in the house of Lavan, in the face of a philosophy of "Lo Ben," of carpe diem. That was the background for the expression of its exact opposite - Clal Yisroel, the embodiment of continuity.
