Humour

Tax Spell

Alright, time for that all important Tax Spell!

Here's what you will need:

A blank check
Shiny new copper/gold coins
Silver Jewelry (nothing cheap!)
A Credit Card (gold if you have it!)
Old Receipts
Old Canceled Checks
A black ball point pen
Any Walking Tax Deductions (Tell the kids they can play later!This is  important!)

Place the blank check to the East, the copper/gold coins to the south, the silver jewelry to the west, and, your gold card to the north! Place receipts and checks in the center (You might want to sprinkle some about for protection) along with the tax write-offs.

Turn to the East:
"Abundantia!  Goddess of abundance!  We call on you, it is Tax Time, and  we need an abundance of funds in the checking account! Be with us now!"

Turn to the South:
"Cal-Shen!  God of Wealth!  We call on you! It is Tax Time, come be with us now! And I do mean NOW!"

Turn to the West:
"Shichi-fukujin, Goddess of treasure!  We call on you!   It is Tax Time and we need you to appease the IRS!  Be with us now!"

Turn to the North:
"Hades!  God of wealth, treasure, gold, silver and finances!  Do we ever need you now! Be with us!"

Ok, next step, work the spell:

Take up the black pen and, sketching a dollar sign in each direction,
say:
"By this do I banish all audits!" (You might want to do this twice!)

Now, take up a handful of receipts and canceled checks (and/or give them to the kids to hold up).  Wave them in each direction, saying: "By this do I invoke a generous Tax return!"  (If necessary, add the following:  "By this will I be granted an extension! A long extention!!")

Almost done! Get your Tax deductions to sit with you there in the center. Now envision Tax forms, a pile of tax forms all perfectly, faultlessly filled out. Imagine that who ever peruses these tax forms will be filled with compassion and mercy. Now imagine these tax forms folded into envelopes, imagine them sealed, stamped and starting to  float. Now send them spinning round the circle. Imagine the right postmark appearing on the stamps! Spin them round and round into a cone of power along with blessing to efficient postal workers, and one to your accountant (that will activate only if he/she didn't screw up!). Now send them off!

Ground yourself.

Now thank and release each deity: Hades, Shichi-fukujin, Cai-Shen and Abundantia!

Don't forget to tell them the check's in the mail.

Now take those tax write-off into the kitchen for some much needed milk and cookies, and thank the Goddess that this only happens once a year!