Scene Six



 

We hear a very vintage telephone ringing. Then a section of Irene's hotel room at the Astor slides into view. She is surrounded by open boxes all displaying beautiful and expensive clothes. She wears a very chic negligee as she picks up the receiver.
IRENE
Allo?
  (Now the lights come up upstage left in Horace's private office. HORACE sits sheepishly at his desk. CARSTAIRS is standing with the phone in his hand.)
CARSTAIRS
Madame Polenska?

IRENE

Oui.

CARSTAIRS

This is Norbert Carstairs, Mr. Standish's assistant.

IRENE

Ah, yes! That adorable young man with the pince nez.

CARSTAIRS

Mr. Standish would like me to tell you that our company has decided not to publish "Five Years With the Masters."

IRENE

What?...I do not hear you properly. This must be a very bad connection. It sounds like you said that your company is backing out of our agreement.

CARSTAIRS

I'm afraid you heard correctly.

IRENE

Let me speak to that horse's ass!

CARSTAIRS

I'm afraid that horse's ass is not available.

IRENE

I'll sue him for every stinking piece of furniture in that smelly office!

HORACE

Tell her no contracts have actually been signed.

CARSTAIRS

Well, you see, Madame Polenska since no contracts have actually been signed...

IRENE

It was a gentleman's agreement---if you can call it that with that quince! A verbal commitment. I will take this to the highest court in the land! That vermin! That dogfaced charlatan! That walking cuspidor!

HORACE

Hang up.

CARSTAIRS

I'm sorry, Madame Polenska. I have to go. (Lights go out in Horace's office, but remain on in Irene's hotel room. SHE clenches her fists and collapses on the settee.)
IRENE
I'll get even with that bastard!
I am captain of my ship,
I am master of my soul...
                                                                     (SHE stops. The telephone rings again.)

IRENE

So you changed your mind, did you?
  (SHE picks up the receiver. Lights rise now upstage left. Charlotte's library slides into view. Her French maid, EDWIDGE, is talking into the phone.)
EDWIDGE
Madame Polenska? This is Mlle. Cotrelly's personal maid.

IRENE

Yes. We met on the Oceanic. It is Edwidge, is it not?

EDWIDGE

How kind of you to remember.

IRENE

I do not forget great beauty.

EDWIDGE

Oh, madame, mais non!

IRENE

Oh, mademoiselle, mais oui.

EDWIDGE

Mais non, non, non!

IRENE

                                               (rolling her eyes in disgust)
Mais oui, oui, oui. Does dear Charlotte wish to speak with me?

EDWIDGE

Non, madame. Mlle. Cotrelly is not here. She wanted me to call you to tell you the celebration for you has been postponed.

IRENE

Postponed? Postponed till when?

EDWIDGE

She did not say. She left this morning.

IRENE

Left? For where?

EDWIDGE

Her honeymoon.

IRENE

She got married?

EDWIDGE

Oui, madame. To Monsieur Braden.
 
  (IRENE lets the receiver drop. SHE stands in the center of the room in shock. The music of Captain of My Ship is played as a dirge.)
LIGHTS SLOWLY DIM