Ricochets from Ramallah
by Danny Verbov

As I sit in my Succah, five days after completing my annual reserve duty in the Israel army, I find a few moments to share some observations from the front line.

I should point out that what follows is entirely personal. I do not pretend to be a military expert nor a political strategist; neither am I a rabbinical authority or an historical scholar. I am Danny Verbov, 35, originally from Liverpool, married with five beautiful children and an Israeli citizen for almost 12 years. I have annually fulfilled my army obligations without any untoward occurrences and I am a regular soldier of low rank; my job is to drive army jeeps and it just happened - a decree from Above - that this Rosh Hashanah I was plunged into a war.What does a quiet, well-mannered Englishman do on the morning of Rosh Hashanah when confronted by an angry Arab mob throwing every possible blunt object at his jeep?

Panic was a reasonable opening gambit, closely followed by fear and various mental scenarios of my own bloody demise and worries of how my wife and family would cope. Fortunately I realised very quickly that G-d had obviously put me there for a reason and that it would not help worrying. A little rhyme came to mind - For every ailment under the sun There's a remedy or there's none If there's one, find it; If there's none, never mind it.

This is an excellent aid to coping with stress in any situation. I highly recommend memorizing this and remembering it when you're going through difficulties. So having rapidly reached unprecedented stress levels and endangered my blood pressure, I was comforted somewhat by working on this philosophy. It focuses you on doing what you have to do in any given situation, which in itself is very rewarding.

So there I was, on my first shift, on the front line in Ramallah, acting as a target for stones; rocks; iron bars; marbles; glass bottles; Molotov cocktails, and later, live bullets. On Rosh Hashanah we learn that the Books of Life and Death are open on the Heavenly desk; it was obvious to me that it was no coincidence that these disturbances were starting at this crucial time of the year. The Almighty was obviously trying to tell us something. With these thoughts in mind, I suddenly became acutely aware of the Day of Judgement and of my own mortality. It didn't take me long to realise that I was obviously in that situation to pray like I have never prayed before. There wasn't really anything else I could do - offering to make the other soldiers a cup of tea was not particularly appropriate at that time. So once again (and remember, all this is on the front line under constant bombardment) I was privy to a lofty realisation. On the one hand, I felt utterly hopeless; a nothing; a speck in the universe, totally exposed and vulnerable to anything that might happen to me. On the other hand, I also felt a strange power of responsibility - it was my prayers that were going to make the difference between life and death; not just for me but for the whole of Israel.With that realisation, everything one does takes on a new dimension. One suddenly takes more care and puts in more effort with every word of prayer; every word of speech; every mundane action. One suddenly becomes acutely aware of the extreme consequences of every move. In the end I wasn't able to pray the traditional Rosh Hashanah prayers; instead I was rattling off the Psalms. I strongly recommend that every human being, religious or not, become familiar with these beautiful prayers, outpourings of a sensitive soul in many difficult situations. Try learning to appreciate the gift of tears too....

Please understand, I am no great philosopher; all this was simply racing through my mind, a mind that becomes totally alert and aware in this kind of situation. One suddenly takes note of everything; you see things you never noticed before; you hear sounds you would never have perceived and your senses are all fully primed. You can exist with minimal sleep; minimal food; minimal showering -it's actually an exhilarating feeling. Why is it that we can't maintain that alertness in our day to day lives? Anyway, back to the front. Just to inform you of my role there, and of the army's strategy, something you won't have heard on the BBC. As a jeep driver, my role was simply to obey my commander's orders and either accelerate forward or reverse quickly depending on whether we needed to push the Arabs back or retreat from dangerous Molotovs.

In our particular position in Ramallah, the army's aim was simply to keep the situation under control and not allow the riots to overflow into endangering the lives of the Jewish residents and the settlements nearby. Bearing that in mind, the army is forced to become very reactive. It is always the Palestinians that start the disturbances, and once they start, our jeeps move in to establish a line over which the rioters do not cross. If we didn't react, there's a real fear that they would march straight into a Jewish area and put lives at risk. Once they begin to throw their missiles, our soldiers have clear instructions to fire rubber bullets at the lower half of the bodies of either the leaders or those holding or throwing the Molotov cocktails.

Indeed, if soldiers are seen to be firing too much, too high, too randomly, they are reprimanded over the army radio and brought to order, for not behaving properly. How many other world armies have a policy like that? Even when the Palestinians began the live fire, our orders were clear; only return fire at an identified source - no random firing vaguely in the right direction .

The Israeli army is very concerned with the purposeless loss of life. Even when we bombed Ramallah after the shocking lynching of our two soldiers (I could write a separate article on that day alone), we gave the Palestinians a warning and told them exactly what we were going to bomb in order to prevent unnecessary loss of life.

Whether I agreed or not and despite my seething anger at those murders in the morning, I was proud to hear that that was how we work. We Jews place a supreme value on human life, and that is why its so important not to waste a second of the greatest gift we have.

In war, one appreciates that. We didn't sleep properly, we didn't eat properly; a shower was a luxury, but it didn't matter. All the soldiers knew what was really important and what we had to do. If only we could translate that to into our day-to-day lives.

Amongst other things, as if I didn't have anything better to do, I discovered a new definition of happiness, of fulfillment. As I mentioned before, once I realised that I was doing the only thing I could in the situation, and doing it, I hoped, to the best of my ability, I was enveloped with a warm sensation of contentment. Knowing exactly what to do when and being totally happy in the knowledge that you're doing exactly what you're supposed to do. How many of us know why we are here in this world, and how many of us even ask ourselves that question? Our wonderful army. I think that outside of Israel it is particularly important to maintain a constant recognition of the work that our soldiers are doing. It is only because these 18,19 year old kids are risking their lives, that you are able to come, see and enjoy everything that Israel has to offer. And whether they're religious or not is irrelevant. They are your brothers, just like the unfortunate kidnapped foursome in Lebanon, and as such are worthy of your constant prayers and action.

It became very clear to me that this is not a war against the settlers, nor is it a war over the land of Israel. It is a war against the soul of the Jew, wherever he may be. Why were there incidents in France, a stabbing in London? The Almighty seems to be relaying the message - make more efforts at being kind to each other or else I'll cause outside evils to do it for you.

Another word of advice from a simple soldier. Please try not to become carried away with all you hear and read in the media. It just depresses us more, demoralises and angers, serving no useful purpose and taking the focus away from the real solution - ourselves. Don't believe everything you read or see; there is always another side to the story, and don't believe that Barak, Arafat or Clinton determine the headlines in the news.

Every one of us can influence the world. Don't fall into the trap of thinking "there's nothing I can do." Judaism believes that the headlines were already inserted on Rosh Hashanah depending on the merits of the Jewish people. You can change the world! So listen to the news once a day so you know what to pray for, but otherwise try working on yourselves. I'm convinced that that's what's going to make the difference. Nobody knows the value of a smile, a good word; a charitable act - and they generally don't cost very much either!

Our Torah is repete with stories illustrating that our wars are won in our hearts and in our spirits; military might and strength in numbers are largely incidental. In fact I almost left the jeep on the second day of Rosh Hashanah to blow the Shofar in front of the stone throwers ....I thought better of it!

This leads on to another important point, one that became very true for me on that first day. G-d is always with the Jewish people. Always. If you had seen the road at the end of the day's fighting, you would automatically assume that we must have had a long causality list. In fact I think the whole 18 days I was there, we had three minor injuries.

One was actually a broken nose sustained by the commander of my jeep who just folded over in front of me after being hit by a stone. That was scary, I can tell you. But can we explain this through the law of averages, or can we say that G-d performs miracles for us, morning, noon and night? If we look hard enough, we can see that good in everything.

These are the observations one can make in a war situation, when as I said, the senses are fully charged. I found myself with the ability to learn from every little thing and to see the positive despite the fears, the despondence and the destruction. Allow me to give yousome examples:

Over the army radio during the confrontation, all commands are delivered clearly and calmly and it is accepted that only vital information is communicated. How wonderful would it be if we instituted these rules into our daily speech?

I used to ask different officers what we could expect the next day. One would say "more of the same", another would say, "it's going to be quiet". Ultimately, until you see it for yourself, it's not true. It's the same with the media. Every person has to discover his or her own truth for themselves.

Even on that awful day of the lynching, I thought it was a wonderful thing that at least the Palestinians gave us the bodies back. Call me naive, call me stupid, but I believe that by looking for the good in everything, our lives will be immeasurably enriched.

So they threw stones at me; they shot live ammunition at my jeep; they even shot at me while I was asleep, but the thing that finally broke me was a puncture in the jeep! And if you've ever tried changing a wheel on a heavily armoured bullet proof vehicle you 'll know what I am talking about. Thank G-d we also pulled through that and I lived to tell my family and friends how much I appreciate them and to write this article. But as we read in the Ethics of the Fathers (Chapter 3): "He whose wisdom is greater than his deeds, his wisdom does not stand." In a war situation, it's 'easy' to reach these lofty understandings and life truths. The big challenge is to translate them into daily life, and that's the struggle I personally am dealing with a week back into civvies. That and trying to explain the situation to the kids. But I believe that that's what Judaism is all about - we're not going to reach the finals if we don't have a consistent season.

Using both the Sabbath and Festivals and our own individual trials as springboards, I believe we are meant to infuse our daily lives with the inspiration gained from these experiences.

It is my hope that you, the reader, will also take something from my experience and use it to enrich your own life and the lives of others. I sincerely hope that the entire Jewish people merit a year of peace from within and security from without; a year of deep personal growth and happiness; a year of renewed faith in our own ability to make a difference, and a year of intense pride and purpose.

Even in the face of the killings and the shootings, the anger and the uncertainty, there have been public Succot concerts and expressions of festive joy all over Israel. We know that ultimately the Jewish people are going to pull through.

I am proud to be a member of such a people.

Danny Verbov works for the Danny Frei Jerusalem Fellowships of Aish UK, in Jerusalem.