How To Avoid The Y2k?!

Survival Guide courtesy of
Colonel Randolph Parker

Background Information on the Colonel

Colonel Randolph Parker is a retired insurance salesman, and now full time militia leader.  In his spare time he organizes the puppet shows at the Hartley Towers Rest Home.

How to Protect Yourself From The Y2k!

I spoke to my local government about the Y2k and they told me, "There is absolutely nothing to worry about."  If there is nothing to worry about, then why is the National Guard going to be on alert.  Something is going to happen and me and my militia will be ready to protect and serve.  Yet we can't help everyone. Here are some tips for your Y2k suvival.

Y2K TIPS

1. Buy a can of non-lead white enamel paint.  At about11:30pm on New Year's Eve begin to paint yourself completely white.  This will help to reflect the blast of any sort of freak explosion.

2. There are several items that must be stocked up on.  Can goods are essential for survival.  Also it is a must to have a generator, as a back up to your electrical power.  To run this generator you will find yourself in need of gasoline, at least 10 gallons.  Bottles of water would not be a bad idea as well.

3. Another problem that may arise is the bathroom facilities may not work.  There are two ways of going about this, one is the old adult diaper.  Some of us wear it now and others may want to get used to it.  Another way of going about it is to build outdoor plumbing a.k.a an outhouse.

4. I don't like to speculate on what is going to happen during the Y2k confusion, but I have ordered my militia group to have their wives  knit afghans and blankets.  It would not be a bad idea to have plenty of covers to keep warm if the heat is shut down.

Below are pictures of my militia group

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