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| Well, funny thing, I was sitting back watching some show on t.v. where people are getting married thinking about how fucked up the world really is. ~ long story. First of all, I feel that marriage is for the fucking birds in today’s age. What was the original vows? Love honor cherish? I think there was obey in there at one time. obey, I nearly choked this summer hearing that shit coming out of the reverend’s face. People traded in obey for compromise. Today’s vision of a working relationship seems to revolve around forgiveness. “If you really love me then you’ll forgive me for fucking all those niggers for crack” what a sham! For anyone to put their lower human nature in check is impossible. Especially for women! they are definitely confronted with more opportunities then most men are, and for the most part, they take advantage of them hoping that there will be no repercussions from it. married women all way’s bitch and complain how their home all day and their husband seems to fucking busy putting food on the table instead of giving them fucking attention. So they go out and get themselves boyfriends to fill “the gap” . The American public is just too narcissistic to commit to any one person. because commitment = loss of self and that translates into low self esteem. So women have rights now and they are independent, hell everyone is independent contractors anymore, why should anyone commit themselves to one person sexually, financially or emotionally? Since no one can stick with the old school rules of love and commitment then close the fuckin book! I guess American’s in general anymore would just rather trade emotions like love and true self esteem (belonging) for lust and loneness. I’m not implying that that’s the way it should be, I’m merely stating that that’s the way it is. More about marriage. I used to be a good guy and part of me still is but, I’m in no way shape or form going to get attached to anyone! Period! Been there, done that repeatedly and it all way’s has come to one thing, disappointment. Now I’m seeing everybody getting married from a few months after they met to a few years of going out. and blinded buy the bullshit lies, I think those marriage’s will ultimately fail since it’s impossible to assess a person until you have weathered some storms. People have this primordial desire to be involved in another’s life for some reason. Like it gives a women higher self esteem marrying a guy who have wealth, social standing or potential of having the previous. Men want to hang a trophy girl on their shoulder to display their self worth. What the fuck happened to love and all that jazz? It seems like all the “pretty people” are x whores who are getting a little older and want to quit the drugs and all the sexual partner’s to latch onto someone before they become old and no longer the coldest can of beer in the refrigerator. Or you have those who can recognize a financially strong person who has a lot of love to give and that makes them a target for the bio-paychecks. Of course once that’s achieved the power struggle has been won and the partner is able to get away with unfaithfulness because she has all the bargaining chip’s. that sucks Ok, my vision in terms of marriage. Create a prenuptutial agreement that is just a legal contract holding both to the wedding vows. If the vows are broken than the person responsible will leave with nothing and can burn in hell. Moreover, there will be no friends of the opposite sex for either! and to top that off, the decision of childbirth must be agreed upon by both. If not, it becomes a personal responsibility for the one who chooses to bear children. The last term would have to be that unfaithfulness is punishable by death. ~ Mike |
| you let me violate you you let me desecrate you you let me penetrate you you let me complicate you help me i broke apart my insides help me i've got no soul to sell help me the only thing that works for me help me get away from myself i wanna fuck you like an animal i wanna feel you from the inside i wanna fuck you like an animal my whole existence is flawed you get me closer to god you can have my isolation you can have the hate that it brings you can have my absence of faith you can have my everything help me tear down my reason help me it's your sex i can smell help me you make me perfect help me become somebody else i wanna fuck you like an animal i wanna feel you from the inside i wanna fuck you like an animal my whole existence is flawed you get me closer to god all through every forest above the trees within my stomach scraped off my knees i drink the honey inside your hive you are the reason i stay alive Nine Inch Nails ~ "Closer" ~ Pretty Hate Machine |
| DATE: Mon 12 feb 2001 14:50:47 –0800 (PST) FROM: confidential SUBJECT: your web site TO: Michael Dearest- I've enjoyed your web site immensely. It's nice to see my hand in your journey to self discovery, right down to the choice of music. Your links are entertaining especially on your "views of marriage" page, but why do you continue to paint such a biased picture to your cyber fans? You left out all important truths of the time. Regaurdless, it's nice to see you still think about me. For whatever it's worth I am very sorry and over the past two years I've had plenty of time to reflect on my misdoings. In fact I am writting a memoir that I am considering publishing. (If and when I get these student loans underway) It's incredible when I think of how far I've come from who I was when you knew me. I'm still teaching and it's going very well. I've been "sober" for one year and seven months- still smoke marlboro's and drink miller...but working on it. Please try to keep in mind that I was very young and foolish-it was not you. Embarrassing as it is, it's in the past, and I ask myself everyday what the fuck was I thinking?! I suppose you may have been close when you said it was some sort of subconscious way of getting back at my father for his lack of emotional support. It's been two years and I hope everythings going well for you. Miss ya Mike---------Ms. S |
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