Freiman's Missive to the populace
Seventeenth Edition
Lorenzo's 20 Minute Oil Change
Unto my brothers and sisters in the Legion of Shadows
come greetings from Freiman the Minstrel
Yolanda (my wife) recently passed a kidney stone. It was the first time in the Ten years I have known her that she felt bad enough to go to the hospital.She was, and is, fine and at home. But that wasn't the excitement. When she was released from the hospital she was given an antibiotic called bactrim to treat a slight infection occasioned by the trauma to some internal plumbing. The scientific name for Bactrim is sulfa methoxozol. Yalonda is allergic to sulfa drugs. She took the meds for five days, and went into full fledged anaphylaxis. Her blood pressure dropped to 94 over 50, she ran an immense fever and her hands and feet got ice cold. Her blood pressure was so low that the doctors at the military clinic couldn't take blood from her. They even brought in their ace phlebotomist Iris (on her day off), who is reputed to be able to get blood from a stone. They were as yet completely clueless as to what she was suffering from. They rushed her by Rettungswagen (ambulance) to the German hospital at Amberg, the local German city, at four PM. I rushed to the house to pack a bag. When I got to the house, I picked up her meds to carry them with me. when I got my hands on the box, immediately read the damn thing, and knew what had happened. I called the clinic, so they could call ahead to the hospital, and hit the car at a dead run. I was going 150 Km/hr as I shot through the little village of hanbach (my BMW can fly). It is very lucky I wasn't killed. I actually "got air" at one point. The shocks make a loud "thump" as they suddenly shoot out to the limits of their possible extension. I got to the ICU, and had to wait a moment to go inside. While I was there, I explained to them that she was undergoing a sulfa reaction. I am unsure of whether they didn't believe me, or (more likely) that the language problem was a factor. I was only allowed to visit for a short time. I went home and sat. just sat at the dinner table. I knew that my wife was dying, due to an error I could have prevented, because of a damn communications problem. I realized that one way to get rid of a frightened American would be to pretend not to speak any English. At about six, I had decided I had not done everything I could. I went to my internet terminal and decided to learn everything I could about sulfa drugs and sulfa drug reactions. At 9:37 pm Yalonda's heart and lungs stopped working by themselves. Prompt action by the ICU staff got them both working again with mechanical assistance. By ten thirty I was in the car again, going flat out to the hospital. I had my friend Katharina (an English speaking german in the sca) on the cell phone, she had her friend Mungo (his sca name) in Australia on the land line from her house. Mungo is an MD. The routing is tortuous, but he was the only MD I could get at that particular moment. Luckily, I had crammed the file folder of notes into my school briefcase. My school briefcase also contained some chainmaile making stuff. More on why this was very lucky later. Well, everything in Germany closes it's doors at eight PM, at the latest. I went around to the emergency entrance at the back, and marched in like I owned the place. A young (about 22) female nurse/orderly of some sort moved to intercept me. I pointed at her, walked toward her, and said (very loudly) "You! Where is Medical Intensive? Now!" God bless Germans and Authority. She blanched, and pointed. I was wearing my "school clothes", essentially a three piece suit, except for the mid thigh length black leather coat (she didn't notice the sneakers). I went right past her. I didn't have time to screw around. At medical intensive (the ICU), I buzzed the door, and when they asked I said "Herr Willhoite is Here, with ...Uh... Papers." and they let me in. Inside, I found the resident in charge, and asked him if he spoke English. He replied that he did not. I did not let that phase me. I pulled my file folders out of the bag and some chaimmaile making stuff fell out too. Namely, the hoof nippers my dad gave me to trim copper rivets. I started on my "sulfa drug spiel", explaining that sulfa drugs were discovered in 1932, when a famous german chemist discovered that rats injected with a red dye got over infection. I went on to talk about how sulfamide interfered with DNA/RNA replication that is not a problem in macro organisms like rats and humans, but is devastating to protists and bacteria with a lifespan that is measured in hours. there's a lot more of it. I had my notes directly in front of me, I was very specific. Substitute teacher either get good at lecturing to an audience that doesn't want to hear it, or they find another job. When I was finished I noticed two things. One, he was listening intently and understanding every word, and two, he was staring in horror at the hoof nippers I had been fiddling with nervously. I was pinching my pinky lightly with the nippers. He and I quickly found a basis for a compromise. He found a toxicologist, they discovered that the broad spectrum antibiotic that they were treating Yo with also contained a sulfa derivative. Yo was given epinephrine, the standard emergency treatment for anaphylaxis, and cortisone, which is also helpful. She was put on multiple IV's and given powerful diuretics. By morning, Yo had recovered enough to be taken off most of the machines, and had been moved into a "critical care ward". The hospital and I made an agreement. I would never sue them, and they would never have me arrested for seeming to threaten to cut a doctor's fingers off. I never actually said anything other than "your hands are important to you? My wife is important to me."
Yo is much better. She is at the house. I am not in jail.
freiman |
