Rule 1: Don't hurt yourself and don't hurt others. This one pretty much takes care of "don't kill", "don't steal", "don't bear false witness". It also means not doing these things to yourself. Don't do things to yourself that you know are harmful. Beyond the physical, don't mentally and emotionally hurt people. "Judge not." Don't lay guilt or condemnation on yourself or other people. Don't be critical of them and don't be critical of yourself. Cut everyone some slack, including yourself. They may be doing the best they can.
Rule 2: Take care of yourself so you may help take care of others. Eat right, get some exercise, enough sleep, and do something fun, every day. Give yourself credit when you do good. Stop and smell the roses. Live while you are alive. Love yourself. How can you love others as you love yourself if you really don't love yourself? I think it's interesting that Mr. McWilliams didn't say that you have to take care of others. Most people who write books about these sorts of things insist that we should "give till it hurts", "give till there's just no more to give", or feel guilty because we haven't helped and given enough. That is how you get people to do more and give more and be helpful, isn't it? I tend to be a rescuer almost to the point of being codependent, out to save the world or at least a small part of it. It's good to for once hear someone say that I don't have to do that. I may do it if I feel so inclined. It's good when I do but I don't have to. Is that selfish? I guess taken to an extreme it could be but so could a do-gooder attitude, taken to an extreme. After all, if you don't take care of yourself then sooner or later you force someone else to take care of you. How helpful would that be?
Rule 3: Use everything for your upliftment, learning, and growth. Into every life a little rain must fall. Sometimes though it seems more like a flood than a little rain. There are times when it's apparent that we did something that caused the unpleasantness in our life. We ate too many green apples and now we have a stomach ache. It's a clear case of cause and effect and no one is really asking, "Why?" Then it's easy to say, "Ok, I'll make sure I don't do that one again." Other times it's a lot more complex. Someone we love dies in a tragic accident. "Why?" "Why did it have to happen?" I honestly don't believe that God sends bad, tragic things our way either as punishment for some sin or to teach us some spiritual lesson or for some mysterious purpose that we are too weak and sinful to understand. There may not be an answer to "Why?" in the sense of "What was the purpose for this? Why did this have to happen?" Since bad things do happen, when they do, we have a choice of either wallowing in them and letting them overcome us or learning something from them; in lying there in the dirt where we fell or getting up, dusting ourselves off, and going on living. It's not easy. It's a lot easier to talk about it than to do it when the time comes. It is a little easier though if we decide to quit beating ourselves up over it; it wasn't our fault. Quit wishing it didn't happen; it did. Then determine that we will look for some way to use it for our growth. Using everything that happens for upliftment, learning, and growth isn't easy but it's better than the alternative of allowing things that happen to bring us down, kill our spirit, and stunt our growth.
These are three of my rules for living, part of my sacred list. During the coming week, I challenge you to see how you can apply these rules in your daily life and incorporate them into your own rules for living.
This article appeared in the Ashley News Observer, March 22, 2001, Crossett Ministerial Fellowship: Message of the Week column.