Disclaimer:
okay let me rack my head for something witty to say...
Lady Oscar's not mine
Though I wish she were all the time
'Cause if I had her I'd be rich
But on the down side I'd probably be a bigger b**ch
(I'm not witty, but I try anyway!)
This author begs feedback-->crune@coqui.net
It's waiting...
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"What makes life worth living? To be born with
the gift of laughter and sense that the world is mad."
-S.Scarmouche
Bottle of Brandy
by Aria (crune@coqui.net)
part 1: The Challenge
Oscar is not one to resist a challenge--especially not a stubborn
twelve year old Oscar. My thirteen year old self was just talking to the
other stable boys, my friends, about how I could handle alchohol and she
just came up to us the waving the swords that me and her used for practice in
the air.
"Andre!" she called out, "let's practice!"
Now, if you think about it-- I was just bragging about how old and
"expirienced" I was and there I was, in a situation which got my friends
snickering. I had to go and do what Oscar asked--it was my duty, yet that
didn't matter to my friends. To them I was just going to serve a *girl* who
was incidentally *younger* than I was.
"We're sorry Andre", they smirked," if we're interfering with your
babysitting".
I might as well been wearing Granny's apron and skirt.
*****
Andre had the lamb-to-the-slaughter look I had been reading about for
ages, the kind of look that usually comes from being socially victmized. Not
being very social myself, I couldn't really relate, so I chalked the look up
to general quesiness of the stomach or some other physical irritation.
"Hey Andre", I panted, I had just run from the mansion to the stables.
"Uh, hello Oscar", he said.
I could sense his discomfort and mentally scratched the "general
quesiness of the stomach" idea--by the sound of his voice he sounded as if he
was suffering from something worse.
"Are you ok?"
"Uh yeah", he didn't really sound ok, but what the hell, I was bored and
had the swords ready.
"Well ok then", I said quickly, before he changed his mind, "let's go".
I started walking towards the mansion.
I heard snickering behind me after I walked about five steps. I looked
back. Andre was flushed beet red, but had not moved from where I first saw
him, his friends were laughing...at me.
"Andre?" I called.
*****
Her eyes had narrowed, that was a very bad sign. Yet there I was between
the classic "rock and a hard place". Either my friends would laugh at me and
call me a sissy or Oscar, who was not half as delicate as she looked
( regardless her boyish apparel) would kick my butt...or she'd simply remove
my liver and eat it raw--one never knew with Oscar.
She called my name again and I had no idea what to do.
My friends, noticing my silent rebellion, stopped snickering.
Oscar's voice lowered in a dangerous tone, "Andre..."
I opened my mouth to speak, though I had no idea what I was going to say,
but one of my friends beat me to it.
"Why don't you just go away?"
Oscar's eyes widened.
"Pardon me?"
*****
I understood what the little prick had said, but I was damned if I let
him intimidate me.
"You heard me", he said with a faint smile and the other boys grinned
like monkeys.
Great, I thought, I am dealing with ape-like morons with huge egos.
Wonderful. I couldn't help but throw a dirty look at Andre, who seemed to
wither on the spot like a flower with no water out in the sun. I pitied him,
but that didn't change the fact that when we got home, we were going to have
a nice TALK.
Another of his ape-friends apparently getting courage from the first
joined the charade.
"Yeah, why don't you just leave!"
I addressed the second pouring as much ice in my voice as was humanly
possible.
"Pardon me?"
A third one decided to make his own interpretation of my words.
"Gosh Andre, does your mistress only know how to say 'pardon me'?"
Before Andre could answer, even though I could tell he wouldn't--I said,
"I know more, but you all are really not worth any of them".
"Oh yeah?" the first asked challegingly and stood right in front of me to
intimidate me. He stank of sweat and his own stupidity.
*****
I saw Jacque step up to Oscar who reminded me of a cat--cornered and
smaller, but giving a fierce ilusion of being bigger.
Okay, so I'm really bad with metaphors.
Anyway, even if she didn't look bigger, any person could see the cold
hard smarts she had--much more than all of us guys there put togeher.
She stood her ground, even as Jacque loomed over her.
"I don't really want to stick around here, but I won't be thrown out by
losers like you", she said evenly.
"What can you do if we throw you out anyway other than get your Daddy?"
he answered.
"I'm not. Still, I'd like to propose that we have a sort of...
competition".
They laughed outright. "You aren't fooling anyone, we know you are a
girl".
She shrugged. "So".
"It's unfair, after all it's a given that we're better in competitions...
unless it's...knitting!"
the last was said in a laugh.
Oscar rolled her eyes. "Fine, but to give me the benefit of the doubt--
you guys name the competition--after all you have nothing to lose".
*****
Pathetic morons. I could take 'em all on, if I wanted to. I was
obviously dealing with sissy, ape-morons. My opinion of Andre had changed
quite drastically.
They recovered from their laughing and began considering in which
competition I was going to participate in. I smiled inwardly. Imbeciles,
all of them.
Finally the ape-boy who had unsuccesfully tried to intimidate me said,
"We'd challenge you sword-fighting and shooting, but we realize anyone with
learning can do that--"
Well at least they gave me *that* much credit.
"even a stupid mutt--" he smiled.
Little bastard.
"so we have decided, that we'll put you in a competition you *can't* win".
"Oh, " I said coldly, "why won't I?"
"'Cause you're not a man".
Yeah, yeah whatever.
"Fine, would you tell me what it is already?"
The ape-moron grinned, "Let's see how well you handle your licor".
*****
"Whoa, hold it there, Jacque", I interrupted. There was such a thing as
rules, and I knew that bringing a drunk Oscar back to the Jarjayes mansion
would be considered breaking the rules *big time*.
"Well, your *charge* basically called the challenge", justified Jack with
a smug grin.
"Yeah well Jacque, *you're* not the one who'll get in trouble if he walks
in with an intoxicated Oscar".
"According to her, she's *man* enough".
Out of the corner of my eye, I saw an enraged Oscar, but she still kept
her cool and simply said: "I am no one's charge, I come and go as I please".
Yeah, right.
She then turned to me and said, "Don't worry about me, Andre, your friend
will be the one who won't be able to stand up before long".
And neither will you, I wanted to add, but realized that my safety
depended on keeping my mouth shut...doesn't it always when you're near
someone like Oscar?
"So who's getting the stuff?" asked Jacque, looking around. My friends,
still startled by the turn of events looked at each other with confusion.
Jacque turned back to Oscar, "Why don't you give us some of your brandy or
whatever licor you have--you can *spare* some" he said not without a trace of
bitterness.
She nodded solemnly. "Fine, I'll get it".
And with that she turned and left.
*****
Damn! Just damn! Of all the competitions they could have chosen. I
have never ever drunk licor in my life. I do have, however, memories of
some disgusting bitter-tasting liquid served to everyone, but me at
Christmas time.
Somehow that does little to reassure me.
The place where the ape-morons are assembled is pretty far off from the
actual house so I pick up the pace hoping to get the bottle fast. I know
where it is-- a cabinet in my father's study. I aso know that it would be
easy to borrow, since he is never there.
I make it to the house before long and barge into my father's study. I'm
safely out of the house within minutes and heading back to where the
ape-morons are, probably talking trash about me. Same old, same old.
It was then that a stroke of brilliance hit me and I decided that, rather
I demonstrate my naiveté in drinking in front of the ape-morons that I should
have my first sip then --away from their laughing eyes.
Boy was I glad I did that!
The first sip burned my throat. That was the noxious liquid served
during Christmas! It was horrible! I coughed a bit and determined to
"tough it out", took a second sip. This one wasn't as bad, though it still
burned. A warmth stole over me and I decided that it was time to beat the
ape-moron in his own game.
*****
I saw Oscar a long time before any of my friends did. I didn't think
she'd really do it, but I kept a look out for her while my friends spoke of
how she was going to get her butt kicked.
I didn't really want to interfere, but judging from Oscar's determined
expression and the *big* bottle in her hands--I was going to get into a
*great* deal of trouble if this progressed.
"Look, this is stupid", I said.
Many eyes turned towards me, increasing my discomfort. "What if you guys
get hurt?"
"Why would we get hurt, Andre?" asked Oscar, "this is safer than
sword-fighting".
"Speaking of which", I spoke quickly, "Why don't we got get the swords
you left in the house and practice". I faked a smile.
Oscar being the horrible intelligent being she is, saw right through me
and smiled back genuinely, "You aren't afraid Andre, right?"
I gave a laugh that sounded too nervous for my own good, "No, of course
not, still if you get drunk and Granny or the General finds out..."
She gave the closest thing to a pout and simply said resolutely, "He
won't".
I was getting more nervous by the second.
Then Jacques said, "Fine, then, let's start!"
*****
end of part1
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