*note* what I am doing here is expressing my opinion on a certain subject.
I appreciate feedback encouraging debate and discussion--what I don't
appreciate is vicious criticism. Go with the age old lesson, folks:
"If you don't have anything good to say, say nothing"
copyrighted to Aria(crune@coqui.net) 1998
In Defense of a Teenager's Right To Question
by Aria(crune@coqui.net)
Teenagers are known for their bizarre mood swings, questioning minds
and incessant energy. These traits mixed in with a parent's habit of denying
a teen's request without a justification are common causes for many of the
conflict between parents and teenagers.
This occurrs because in childhood "no" is accepted without question--
a child is not mature enough, in many cases to question, but that is not in a
teen's nature. They are no longer children and should not be treated as such.
It is wrong for parents to say "no" without any reason. In doing this they
are inciting a teen's anger and encouraging rebellion, therefore causing
conflicts that disrupt the peace in a house hold. For example, a classic
fight between parents and their teens can be about permission to go to a
party. A parent might know that at that party, their teenager might be
offered drugs. If a parent states this concern as a reason why he or she is
not letting the teen go, then there is a better chances that this teen will
understand and that together they will come to an agreement. Perhaps the
teen, out of his or her own free will, eventually decide not to go.
The situation metioned previously shows that behind such an empty
word as "no" there always is a reason. Adults are given explanations, even
if they are not quite obvious--why should it be different with teenagers?
Although they may not be as mature as adults, teenagers are perfectly capable
of analyzing and understanding the reasons why certain ways of conduct,
dressing and actions are prohibited. In fact, most are likely to accept and
even agree with a parent, provided he or she actually sits down and discusses
the matter in a mature civilized way.
In any case, contemporary education teaches us to question. This is
a method through which people learn to think for themselves. The right to
question is, in fact, human nature, as well as essential. All people have
this right and it would be discriminatory as well as an act of tyranny to
deny to teenagers simply because of their youth. If anything, a teen's right
to question should be encouraged. How are teens expected to grow and learn
if no one teaches them--merely gives them vacant answers such as "no"?
Knowing this, however, many parents still hold on to the detrimental
habit of assuming that teens don't have the right to know why they are being
denied a request. It is foolish to think that the curious mind of a teenager
will be satisfied with just a simple "no". Parents have the option of
helping their teens grow, to teach them, as well as keep the peace. By
justifying their reasons why something is right or wrong they are sending a
positive message: that they want their teens to learn and that they care
enough to take the time and teach them. After all, if teens always accept
"no" and never question, how will they be able to stand up for themselves?
END
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