Hollywood Wisdom

"If we were in other countries, we would all right now, all of us together, [starts to shout] all of us together would go down to Washington and we would stone Henry Hyde to death and we would go to their homes and we’d kill their wives and their children! [stands up screaming] What is happening in this country? What is happening? UGHHH UGHHH!!!!"
        --Alec Baldwin, Late Night with Conan O'Brien, 12/11/98

"I'm inconsolable at the present time, I was a very good friend of Jordan, he was probably the greatest basketball player this country has ever seen, we will never see his like again.
        --Mariah Carey, commenting on the death of King Hussein of Jordan, USA Today, 02/08/99 I shouldn't be eating hamburgers, because the methane gas cows release is the No.1 contributor to the destruction of the ozone layer; and the No. 1 reason they destroy the rainforest is to make grazing ground for cattle. So it's very ironic that I eat beef, being the environmentalist that I am. But then again, if I ordered the tuna sandwich, I would be promoting the fact that they have large tuna nets that capture innocent little dolphins...."
        --Leonardo DiCaprio

"I'm a liberal, conservative, radical, middle-of-the-road, centrist Democrat."
        --Richard Dreyfuss

"I would think that if you understood what sex education is, you [Christians] would get down on your knees and worship a condom."
        --Jane Fonda

"[Christians] don't care about children that don't look like them. They don't care about children that are not white, middle-class Christians. As far as they're concerned, others can be eliminated. This is a holy war, and everything for our children is at stake."
        --Jane Fonda

"Anybody who goes to see a psychiatrist ought to have his head examined."
        --Samuel Goldwyn

"I want you all to know that I still love [ex-boyfriend] Darren very much."
        --Tonya Harding, (after spending three days in jail for assaulting Darren Silver with a hubcap and then punching him in the face)

"Itīs ridiculous. I donīt want to know about it. I donīt care. Leave Bill alone!"
        --Madonna

"We can examine the virtues of wonderful 'Christian' stories of disease, murder, adultery, suicide and child sacrifice. Now that seems like entertainment to me."
        --Marilyn Manson

"They [Bill Clinton and Fidel Castro] are both humanists. They should get together. And it would be great for Clinton's legacy."
        --Jack Nicholson, quoted in Detroit News, 7/18/98

"I honestly think -- and I am not an expert on the amendments - - I think the only people in this nation who should be allowed to own guns are police officers. ... It is 1999. We have had enough as a nation. You are not allowed to own a gun, and if you do own a gun I think you should go to prison."
        --Rosie O'Donnell

"[My son's bodyguard] has the right as a person who's residing in Connecticut a lot of the time due to his work with me to request to carry a gun."
        --Rosie O'Donnell

"The only life that is important to them [the NRA] is white, Republican life."
        --Rosie O'Donnell

"It’s a mess ain’t it? [Clinton's] a horny little toad."
        --Dolly Parton

"I am certifiably sane! And I have the papers to prove it!"
        --Roseanne

"I have five kids from three marriages. I come from a trailer park. My sister and brother are both gay. I have multiple personalities."
        --Roseanne,on why she is qualified to be a talk-show host

"[Some of the girls fleeing from the April 20 shooting] were really good-looking. [Did the gunmen] try to have sex with any of the good-looking girls. At least if you're going to kill yourself and kill all the kids, why wouldn't you have some sex?"
        --Howard Stern

"We must stop this attempted coup on our government."
        --Barbra Streisand

"While I am a strong supporter of President Clinton and many of his policies, blind faith had nothing to do with my decision to endorse certain candidates. ... Of the nearly 362 Democrats running for the House of Representatives, the 34 Democrats running for the Senate, and the 38 Democrats running for gubernatorial seats, I endorsed fewer than 200."
        --Barbra Streisand

"Our whole way of life is at stake [in the 2000 Presidential election]."
        --Barbra Streisand

"There is only one man in America that has to keep his pants up, and thatīs my husband. Other than that, I donīt want to know about it. I really donīt. I find it really unappetizing. Itīs nobodyīs business."
        --Marlo Thomas