The Book of Revelation

One of the sad facts of American politics is that, even for a successful candidate, fund raising never ends. Less than a year since his re-election, Mayor Linseed is hosting a banquet, once again soliciting donations from contributors.

At the large head table are seated Mayor Linseed, Commissioner Gordon, Chief O'Hara, Bruce Wayne with his youthful former ward, Dick Grayson, Grayson's aunt, Mrs. Harriet Cooper, and Commissioner Gordon's daughter, Barbara. As it so often does, the conversation turns to Gotham City's caped crimefighters.

"You know," the Mayor begins, "I haven't heard anything about Batgirl lately. I was kind of surprised she didn't get involved in that Poison Ivy business. I wonder what has happened to her?"

"After all she went through this summer, maybe she's taking a vacation," suggests Barbara Gordon.

Suddenly, without warning, a motorbike roars through the door and bursts into the banquet hall! Astride it, as far as anyone besides Barbara Gordon knows, appears to be Batgirl, spraying whipped cream over everyone in the room! She screams, "HERE'S YOUR BATGIRL, CHUMPS!"

"Batgirl" slides the Batgirlcycle next to a long table, full of deserts. "Have a few pies on me!" shouts the figure of the famous female crime fighter, as she begins tossing pies and pastries at the donors. Leaping off the motorcycle, she then pulls a fire extinguisher off the wall. She sprays carbon dioxide foam at the crowd. Jumping back on her bike, she goes around and around in a circle spraying in every direction.

The imposter then spies a cameraman from one of the local Gotham City TV stations. She directs the foam directly into his camera lens. People in their homes throughout Gotham are stunned by something they would never have believed, if they hadn't seen it with their own eyes: Batgirl out of control, smiling and having fun whilst creating mayhem.

Noticing a microphone on a podium, the phony Batgirl rides up and gives a short speech of her own. "I have a new lease on life. I work for no one but myself - not the Police Department, not Mayor Linseed, and not even Batman. I‘m free and I love it!"

A policewoman tries to come up from behind and grab Batgirl. The fake crime fighter moves her cycle slowly, ever so slowly, giving the policewoman the impression she will capture Batgirl . . . but at the last moment Batgirl accelerates, grabs a tablecloth to her right and throws it to the rear. The policewoman slips on it and falls as Batgirl speeds away.

As a final act of mischief, from her perch the new Batgirl grabs a bowl of punch. She then roars behind the head table and dumps the red liquid on Barbara Gordon! Batgirl then rides away laughing.

"Gosh, Bruce!" says Dick Grayson, "that can't have been the Batgirl we know!"

"Batgirl has always been a mystery to us, Dick," replies Wayne, choosing his words carefully. "That did, though, look like her costume and the Batgirlcycle . . . and her voice sounded pretty much the same. Could she have cracked under the strain?"

"Glory be!" declares Chief O'Hara. "Commissioner, do you think that infernal Psyche Exchange Machine might be behind this?"

James Gordon looks up from trying to help his daughter dry off. "I don't know, Chief. Batman destroyed Catwoman's machine, but I don't suppose there's anything to prevent Egghead from building another."

Bruce puts his right hand up to his mouth and whispers to Dick, "We better take Aunt Harriet home. We have our work cut out for us."

"Barbara, Barbara," laments Commissioner Gordon, "this is just terrible. Are you sure you are all right?"

"I'll be okay, Daddy. I just never would have expected that a bowl of punch would be dumped on me by Batgirl!"

"Let me take you home, Barbara, so you can get some rest after this. What with tonight's debacle and being kidnaped, I think the best place for you now is your own apartment"

"I agree, Daddy. Let's go." In the back of her mind, Barbara Gordon wonders what to do next. Besides Alfred Pennyworth, Bruce Wayne's faithful butler, who else could know she is Batgirl? Was the fake Batgirl dousing her with punch a coincidence or a message that this woman knows who Barbara is?

The explanation behind this strange turn of events has its roots in an event some eleven months before. Regina, the daughter of Barbara's fellow librarian and friend, Myrtle, was working for Lloyd Knox during his campaign for Mayor of Gotham City. Knox asked Regina to get him a briefcase containing some tapes he thought he had left in Barbara Gordon's apartment.

The papers were full of Batgirl's and Robin's ordeal as living statues. So when Regina learned from her mother that Barbara Gordon would be attending Mayor Linseed's fund raiser, the time seemed right.

Now she races down the street on the Batgirlcycle as the new Batgirl. After leaving the Linseed party, Regina, or Batgirl, spots a police car chasing after a black van with a large purple "B" on each side. Interested, she speeds up and joins the pursuit. The chase heads out of Gotham City proper and then beyond the city limits.

The bogus Batgirl motions to the police that she will apprehend the van and whoever is in it. The Gotham City policemen, not knowing of the events at the banquet hall, believing this to be the real Batgirl and since they are now out of their jurisdiction, decide to let Batgirl take over.

"Go get ‘em, Batgirl!" shouts the driver as the ersatz Batgirl smiles and waves as she passes by.

For a time the van continues at high speed. Eventually, though, the occupants realize Batgirl is just following and not trying to overtake them. The van slows down and then rolls to a stop in a grove of trees some twenty-five miles from Gotham City.

Batgirl drives up and comes to a halt next to the front doors of the van. She doesn't see anyone in the front seat. Regina then backs up the Batgirlcycle a bit. Suddenly, the side door of the van slides open. Clad, as his custom, completely in brown leather, out pops . . .

The Bookworm!

"The stories are true after all. There is a Batgirl," says the highbrow crook.

"So you're The Bookworm, huh?" replies Regina, trying to appear unafraid and unimpressed.

The villain, just about Batgirl's height, tilts his head down and looks at the costumed figure over his large, thick glasses, "Yes. Well, aren't you going to try to kick me or something?"

Regina giggles. "Do you want me to?"

The erudite villain is confused by this Batgirl's attitude. "I don't get it. I thought you were a crime fighter."

"Life is a fatal adventure. It can only have one end. So why not make it as far ranging and free as possible?"

"Alexander Eliot!" declares The Bookworm, delighted. "New York Post, 28 November 62!"

Regina thinks, ‘Being a librarian's daughter finally seems to have paid off.' She says, "I am my own person. I don't answer to anyone, not to the police, not to Spiderman-"

‘Spiderman?' thinks the bibliophile.

"- and certainly not to Batman and Robin." She pauses, amused by the reading lamp protruding from a gold band on the older man's leather hat. Looking him up and down, Regina concludes, "Besides . . . you're kinda cute!"

The Bookworm is stunned by this opinion! "I like you, too, Batgirl," he shyly replies. His mind pulses with the possibility! He is in need of a female accomplice at the moment and who better than Batgirl to have working with him at his side!!

"Tell me, Bookworm, why were the police chasing you? What did you do this time?"

"Ah, appearances can be deceiving!" Jerking a thumb at the van, he explains, "Technically, they weren't chasing me, they were after him."

Out of the van comes a man in his twenties with dark skin and hair, but blue eyes.

The Bookworm says, "Batgirl, allow me to introduce Yashin."

Yashin bows graciously. A careful, cultured voice, like one might expect of someone from India, responds, "A pleasure to meet you, Ms. Batgirl."

"It's just Batgirl, Mr. Yashin."

"Then you may call me just Yashin, like my friend, The Bookworm, does. It is fantastic for all of us to be meeting this way!"

Batgirl rolls her eyes underneath her mask. "Yashin, no more mentioning of heroes from the other comic book company, okay? I mean, really, the Fantastic Four?"

"You started it, my dear," points out The Bookworm, "by bringing up Spiderman."

"So I did," admits Batgirl. Regina decides it's time to change the subject, "Why were the police chasing you, Yashin?"

"I come from the country of Nimpah. I traveled to America with my older brother, Rashun, and my sister, Bashee. We all came here to retrieve the most holy item on Earth: the Sacred Coin of Nimpah.

"Our tradition is that whoever possesses the coin is the rightful ruler of Nimpah. The coin was lost during our country's first civil war, in the 15th century of your calendar.

"No one knew where the Sacred Coin of Nimpah was until about a year ago. A relic hunter from Canada named Fox found the coin in South Yemen. My brother hired a man named Asli to steal the coin before she could return it to the Maharajah.

"Asli was successful, but he was caught here in Gotham City. Before he was arrested though, he hid the coin somewhere in the city and left behind a clue."

Now The Bookworm takes over the complicated exposition. "I met Asli in the prison library. He shared my passion for books. Just before he was extradited to Nimpah, he told me to get in touch with Rashun if I ever got out. He didn't *ahem* trust me enough to tell me where the coin or the clue was, but he did say Rashun might need my help to figure it out."

"Yeah, so?" Regina interrupts, impatient to find out what exactly is going on.

"Well, then we had some bad luck," Yashin explains. "Asli died while being, uh, "interrogated" in Nimpah. Before he was killed, however, he managed to get word to Rashun telling him where in Gotham City to find the clue. Asli didn't dare risk sending the actual location of the coin in a message, you know. Anyway, before my brother and I could retrieve the clue, Rashun was arrested for drug possession! To top it off, there have been some problems in the family.

"I want to get the coin and brings it back to Nimpah. Then the people will rally around me and we will overthrow the corrupt government!

"Rashun wants the Princess of Nimpah to become his wife. Ever since he first saw her, he has been obsessed with her. As it happens, she is in Gotham City this very moment.

"My sister has disappeared. She is even more radical than I. She wants to assassinate the Princess! Bashee claims there is too much Western influence in Nimpah. She blames the royal family and thinks that getting rid of the Princess will go a long way to restoring our traditional cultural values.

"I don't know how she will attempt to kill the Princess, but I'm determined to stop her. I want the Princess alive as leverage against the Maharajah. So I want to get the coin, free my brother from prison and save the Princess for Rashun. Finally, I want my sister to rejoin us, so our family can be together again."

By this time, Regina is practically besides herself, "But you still haven't told me! Why were the police chasing you?!?"

"Rashun told me that before Asli was captured, he hid the clue in a file of the Gotham Learning Olympiad in the main City Public Library."

"What!" Regina exclaims, astonished at the coincidence.

"Yes, and now here is the clue to exactly where we can find the coin." Yashin hands a piece of paper to Batgirl that reads as follows:

The Faerie Queen

Trust

Taken by the Enemy
The Remains of The Day

Silas Marner

Lying on the Couch

American Psycho
In Cold Blood
The Jungle

The Hunt for Red October
Luck and Pluck

Winesburg, Ohio
Idylls of the King
The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe
James and the Giant Peach
Spoon River Anthology
Sons and Lovers

Literature and the American College
The Horse Whisperer

Superior Woman

Brave New World
The Woman Who Walked on Water

Henderson the Rain King
Unsafe at any Speed
Invisible Man

Six Crises

"This looks like some sort of reading list," observes Batgirl.

"That's exactly what it is," Yashin agrees. "Asli was cornered in the library sometime after he hid the coin. He barricaded himself in the offices of the Learning Olympiad. He created this clue and substituted it in the files for last year's contest's actual reading list.

"So tonight, with The Bookworm using his Bookmobile as, how do you say? a getaway car, I broke into the library and stole this list. That's why the police were chasing me."

Regina addresses The Bookworm. "What do you get out of all this? I don't believe you're interested in Nimpahese politics!"

The Bookworm flashes a sly grin. "Very observant, Batgirl. Nimpah has one of the largest collections of ancient scrolls in the world. Yashin has promised me my pick after he comes to power."

"Is that all?" asks Batgirl skeptically.

"No, it's not," admits The Bookworm. "Tomorrow an old ‘friend' of mine , Bruce Wayne, is hosting a charity event for the International Red Cross at the Tennis Stadium. The Princess will be there, as well as someone else in whom I'm very interested."

Yashin turns to Batgirl and pleads earnestly, "How about you? Will you do something for our cause?"

Regina puts her right purple glove on Batgirl's chin as she thinks over what she has just heard. "Well . . . I don't really care who rules Nimpah . . . but how about if I fix things so Batman and Robin can't interfere in your plans?"

It is a beautiful sunny day at the United States Tennis Association Stadium in Rushing Meadows. Betty and Kathy Kane, the Princess of Nimpah and Anna Kournikova are warming up on center court as Bruce Wayne approaches the public address microphone.

The Kanes' alter egos, Batwoman and Flamebird, had, for a time, searched for the missing Dick Grayson, Robin and Batgirl. One evening, though, they ran into Batman. The Caped Crusader told them in no uncertain terms that he didn't want to have any more colleagues end up missing.

Kathy and Betty were hurt by Batman's attitude, but understood his concern. In deference to his seniority as a Gotham City costumed crime fighter, they had suspended their activities. Recently, the Kanes had just returned from Betty's tour of amateur tennis tournaments in Europe.

Bruce now announces the schedule of events to the large crowd that has gathered. "The first match will be one set of double between Ms. Kournikova and Her Highness, the Princess of Nimpah, and Gotham City's own Betty and Kathy Kane."

After thunderous applause, Mr. Wayne continues, "Following that match, Ms. Kournikova and the Princess will be available to sign autographs. Then the afternoon will conclude with one set of singles between Ms. Kournikova and Betty Kane.

Kathy Kane is not half the player her 16 year old niece is, but the Princess, while not bad for a recreational player, is obviously the weakest player on the court. Despite the professional's best efforts, the Kanes win the doubles match, 6-2.

At the conclusion of the match, Kournikova congratulates the Kanes at the net. As the 19 year old Russian extends her right hand toward Betty she remarks, "I look forward to playing you in singles."

Soon a large crowd has lined up in front of the top twenty women's tennis star, with a smaller audience gathered around the Princess. Katherine Kane wanders over to talk to Bruce Wayne, leaving Betty by herself. Then a dark, blue-eyed man in his twenties holding an autograph book approaches the Woodrow Roosevelt High School junior.

"Miss Kane, may I please have your autograph?" requests Yashin politely.

"Why, certainly, sir!" Betty responds, flattered. She begins to open the book as she asks, "How would you-"

POOF! From the pages of the autograph book issue a plume of knockout gas! Simultaneously, similar explosions rock the stadium!

Yashin whips a small gas mask out of his pocket and puts it on his face as Betty Kane falls, unconscious, to the composition court. The Princess, Bruce Wayne, Kathy Kane, Anna Kournikova and the rest of the crowd soon succumb to the fumes. An eerie silence falls over the stadium. Then, with gas masks over their faces, The Bookworm's thugs, the Bookends, enter and grab the Princess and Betty Kane.

Quickly the Bookends and Yashin move to the Bookmobile, where The Bookworm is waiting. They speed off and make their way to The Bookworm's lair, an old bookstore called "Greenbacks on the Greenway" at the corner of William and Dozier.

As soon as Bruce Wayne recovers, he races back to Wayne Manor. Both Alfred and Mrs. Cooper seem to be away, so he swiftly strides to the study, flips open the bust of William Shakespeare, toggles the switch and slides down the Batpole. In the Batcave he finds Robin waiting for him.

"I heard what happened, Batman. What do we do now?"

Any reply by the Caped Crusader is cut off by the beeping of the Batphone.

"You're calling about the kidnaping of the Princess of Nimpah and Betty Kane, correct, Commissioner?"

"Right as always, Batman -" Commissioner Gordon had given up long ago trying to figure out how Batman got his information so fast "- and we've received a ransom note from the kidnappers."

"Please read it to me."

"I WANT THE FOLLOWING OR THE PRINCESS AND BETTY KANE WILL BE EXECUTED:

(1) THE RELEASE FROM JAIL OF A PRISONER TO BE NAMED LATER;

(2) $5 MILLION IN UNMARKED, OLD, TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS;

FROM THE PRIVATE COLLECTION OF MILLIONAIRE BRUCE WAYNE -

(3) THE ORIGINAL MANUSCRIPT IN SHAKESPEARE'S OWN HAND OF ROMEO AND JULIET;

FROM THE PRIVATE COLLECTION OF KATHY KANE -

(4) HANDWRITTEN FIRST DRAFT BY PIERRE BOULLE OF PLANET OF THE APES;

(5) GUTENBERG BIBLE;

(6) 1850 ORIGINAL OIL PAINTING BY CARL SPITZWEG DER BUECHERWURM.

BATMAN AND ROBIN ARE TO APPEAR ON TONIGHT'S ALLEN STEVENS TV SHOW TO RECEIVE FURTHER INSTRUCTIONS"

After reading the note, the Commissioner asks, "Who could be behind this, Batman?"

"There's no doubt," answers Batman. "Der Buecherwurm himself: The Bookworm!"

Meanwhile, in Barbara Gordon's apartment, Barbara talks with her friend, Alfred. "One of my Batgirl costumes and the Batgirlcycle are gone . . . and she even took Charlie! Some woman is running around Gotham City as Batgirl and I can't figure out what to do about it!"

"The criminal has yet to do anything serious as Batgirl, Miss Gordon," Alfred points out, trying to comfort her, "and we can be grateful that your secret still seems to be safe."

"Yes, but for how long, Alfred? Has she told anybody yet?"

The phone rings. Barbara answers, "Hello?"

"Hi, Batgirl, or should I say Bat-Barbara? or Batbabe? Anyway, how ya doin'?"

"Listen, whoever you are, you don't know what you're doing. You don't know what you've gotten yourself into-"

"No! You listen to me, Miss Former Batgirl. Do as I say or I'll reveal to the whole world who you are . . . or should I say, were?"

"What do you want?"

"I have friends who have someone they want out of jail. We need your help to release him."

"What makes you think I can do that?"

"You're the daughter of the Police Commissioner. I'm sure you'll be most helpful to us."

"Well, I won't do it!" Barbara says defiantly.

"You won't, eh? Well, watch the Allen Stevens Show at 6:30 tonight. Then we'll see if you change your mind."

It is 6:30 p.m.. Allen Stevens has just begun speaking to a live studio audience. "Friends, this evening we have two very special guests - none other than the Dynamic Duo, Batman and Robin!"

The crowd gives an enthusiastic reaction. After the cheering dies down, Stevens proceeds, "It is great to have you on the show, although I wish it were under more pleasant circumstances. Batman, would you please tell the audience why you are here this evening?"

Suddenly, the Batgirlcycle roars onto the stage and the new Batgirl comes forward. "I'll tell you why he is here! He's here because he was told to be here! and to bring his poodle with him!"

"Holy Insults, Batman!" complains Robin.

"Batgirl, please, what is the meaning of this?" asks Batman. Then he watches in horror as Batgirl pulls a hand grenade out of her utility belt! "Don't do anything that might hurt someone!"

"I won't hurt anyone . . . however, that is this grenade's function!" Turning to the audience, she barks, "Nobody leaves!"

"Batgirl, have you gone mad?" asks Robin.

"No. I just want some attention - namely yours. Now, nobody gets hurt, provided you two take off your masks and tell everyone who you are. I'll give you five minutes to think it over. If you refuse, well, then the pin comes out and you will be responsible for some of these lovely innocent people getting killed . . . but, on the other hand, I suppose that would do wonders for Mr. Stevens' ratings!"

"Batgirl, that isn't funny!" admonishes the Caped Crusader.

"This isn't a joke, Batman!"

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