The Expensive Wages of Sin

In the office of Police Commissioner Gordon: Batman, Robin, Batgirl, the Commissioner and Chief O'Hara watch Lloyd Knox, candidate for Mayor of Gotham City, on live television, as he talks with . . . Bruce Wayne!

"Wayne" has just declared his support for Councilman Knox during this, one of Knox's half hour campaign commercials.

"You know, Mr. Wayne, the antics of Batman of late have been so strange. Now, supposedly he was under the influence of some evil criminal. Somehow, I feel like I've heard that story before. What he and Robin did at your mansion recently has you frustrated, I'm sure."

"Lloyd, your brave stand on Proposition B, the initiative the would require the Gotham City Police Department to reveal its connection to Batman, is something I greatly appreciate. If this Batman can come and hold my youthful ward Dick Grayson's Aunt Harriet, my trusty butler Alfred and Ms. Katherine Kane and her niece, Betty, hostage at my mansion, then something must be done."

"Mr. Wayne, I know you had a party honoring Mayor Linseed not too long ago at Wayne Manor."

"Yes, Councilman, but I am man enough to say I made a mistake. Again, let me tell everyone to vote for you, Lloyd Knox, as the next mayor of Gotham City!"

"I want to take time out here to thank you, Mr. Wayne, for coming by and giving me your support."

"My pleasure, Councilman, and good luck to you."

Lloyd Knox turns to the camera, a serious expression on his face. "Friends, if Batman can do what he did in the home of one of the most prominent citizens of Gotham City, are any of us safe?

"The police department and the mayor's office were unable to handle Batman and Robin. The good citizens of Gotham City need assurances that they will be protected, always, and have leadership capable of doing so.

"Therefore, I ask you to vote for Proposition B, and please, don't forget to vote for me, Lloyd Knox, for Mayor of Gotham City."

As the lights dim on Councilman Knox, these words appear on the screen:

"Begorra!" says Chief O'Hara, "that slimy Knox is pulling a fast one . . . and look who is endorsing him! Bruce Wayne, that lazy playboy millionaire.

"You know," the Chief continues, "we all wondered where Wayne was during that business with Black Widow."

Robin speaks up, "Uh . . . probably doing something like fishing with his youthful ward, Dick Grayson. I suppose they were out of town and couldn't be reached."

Robin's comments do little to soothe Chief O'Hara. "Boy, Batman, would I love to get my hands on both Knox and Wayne!"

Commissioner Gordon remains calm as he says, "I wouldn't go as far the Chief, Batman, but I am quite surprised. Bruce Wayne supporting Lloyd Knox? I think we should get to the bottom of this."

"Hold on, Commissioner. After all, this is a free country. Bruce Wayne is entitled to his opinion and to support whoever he wishes. Therefore, we must show restraint in honor of our country and its principles."

"Batman's right," says Batgirl, "in the end, the voters will make the right choice."

"Now Robin and I must return to the Batcave and see if we can detect any super-criminal activity. Let's go, Robin."

"Contact me by e-mail if anything comes up, Commissioner," Batgirl calls as she, too, departs.

After the colorful costumed crime fighters have left, Chief O'Hara turns to his boss, "You know, Commissioner, if I could do it again, I would vote for Batman for Mayor, without a doubt I would!"

"My sentiments exactly, Chief O'Hara. It seems as if the most qualified candidate for Mayor of Gotham City left my office just now."

"Yes, that's Batman all right, Commissioner, nothing like that flighty playboy Bruce Wayne!"

But the real Bruce Wayne and Batman are one and the same and he arrives via the Batmobile back to the Batcave with Robin. "Gosh, Batman, I don't blame Chief O'Hara. Someone is pulling a fast one."

As the Batmobile screeches to a halt, the Boy Wonder vaults over the door and walks around the front of the amazing car to face his mentor. "Holy Biting Your Tongue, Batman! Why didn't you tell them that really wasn't Bruce Wayne? We can't always keep cool and let events run their course. First Prop B and now this!"

"I know how you feel, Robin, but consider this: We know someone was impersonating Bruce Wayne and the imposter knows that, but the rest of the world doesn't. Including King Tut, only four people in the world know the true identities of Batman and Robin."

Dick has never told Bruce about the mysterious Chris Thomson, who seemingly discovered Robin's secret identity. Robin considers that Chris might be behind this, but somehow this really didn't seem to be her, or his, style. Instead, Robin asks, "Do you think Lloyd Knox knew that wasn't really Bruce Wayne?"

"I don't know, Robin, but someone very clever is taking advantage of the fact that millionaire Bruce Wayne and his youthful ward were not around during the recent hostage crisis."

"Well, at least Commissioner Gordon and Chief O'Hara saw Batman and Bruce Wayne in different places at the same time. That should help protect our secret identities."

"Perhaps, Robin, perhaps . . . but for now I suggest we go upstairs and keep a low profile. If Aunt Harriet saw that campaign ad, we will be in for a long night, that's for sure." Batman and Robin go up the Batpoles and become Bruce Wayne and Dick Grayson. They do indeed keep a low profile while worrying about a high profile problem.

The next day at Gotham Square Park, a late afternoon rally is being held for Proposition L, a measure designed to raise more money for Gotham City's libraries. Among those present is Barbara Gordon, head librarian of the downtown Gotham City library. Also present is billionaire software company owner Katherine Kane. Before the festivities start, the two women get a chance to meet each other.

"I heard about your trip to Australia, Ms. Gordon. I hope you enjoyed the conference."

"Indeed I did, Ms. Kane. Thanks for asking. By the way, I also want to thank you for your generous contribution to the Prop L campaign."

"You're quite welcome. A great city needs to maintain a great public library system. I'm gratified to see that this rally, even without the presence of any caped crimefighters, has drawn such a large crowd."

"Uh . . . yes, and isn't encouraging how many students from throughout Gotham City have come by after school to lend their support?"

A woman a bit older than either Barbara or Katherine climbs the stage stairs and approaches the pair. The woman has a girl in her late teens or early twenties in tow. Barbara makes introductions, ". . . and here, Ms. Kane, is my assistant at the library, Myrtle, and her daughter, Regina."

Myrtle and her daughter exchange greetings with Katherine Kane, even through Regina shows some reluctance in meeting the duo. In fact, Myrtle's daughter acts as if she would rather be anywhere else.

After they take their leave from the twenty-something women, Myrtle pulls her daughter aside. "You could have shown more respect while speaking with Barbara Gordon and Katherine Kane, Regina. I was downright embarrassed by your attitude . . . or lack of it."

"So what should I have done, Mother? Gotten down on my knees and thanked your boss for making you come? I don't like libraries. I wouldn't be caught dead in one.
"Even the one you work in, Mother."

"Listen, Regina, Barbara Gordon is my friend and you should treat people better than you do . . . but if you feel that way, why did you even bother to come along?"

"I'm here because I've gone to work for the Knox campaign. I'm going to pass out flyers telling people to vote for him."

Myrtle looks at her daughter, her mouth open in shock. Regina continues, "Look, you told me to get a job if I wanted to keep living at home . . . so I did." Spotting someone in the crowd, Regina points and says, "There's my team leader."

As she runs off, she calls back to her mother, "I'll be late. Don't wait up!"

Meanwhile, Lloyd Knox steps onto the podium and greets Katherine Kane. "Well, if it isn't Katherine Kane! I hope you weren't hurt during that ordeal with Batman and Robin."

"Not at all . . . and I still plan to vote against Prop B . . . and you, Mr. Knox."

"Can't I change your mind about that, Ms. Kane?"

"Your campaign is almost entirely funded by Harry ‘Skin' Flint, and you know the old saying: You're known by the company you keep."

"Mr. Flint has offered to donate ten million dollars to the libraries and schools here in Gotham City. I believe that is a generous gesture on his part."

"Huh! That offer is contingent on the City agreeing not to install any sort of Internet filters on their computers."

"Well, Ms. Kane, just because Mr. Flint believes in the First Amendment . . ."

"I don't believe, Councilman, that he is really interested in freedom of speech. All he wants is to bring smut into the libraries and schools of Gotham City. Sorry, but I say, ‘Thanks, but no thanks.'"

"Now, Ms. Kane," Knox starts condescendingly, "are you sure that has nothing to do with the fact that Networld has developed its own Internet filtering software?"

Kathy begins to object, but before she can get in a word, Knox holds up a hand and continues, ". . . and besides, you've dealt with Mr. Flint yourself, haven't you? You sold him that circus that had been in your family for years, didn't you?"

Knox has now hit one of Katherine Kane's hot buttons! She enjoyed growing up around the circus, but needed the money to get her real passion, Networld, off the ground. "Don't confuse business with pleasure, Mr. Knox! and besides, I'm not running for public office! Now, if you'll excuse me."

Katherine turns away, but Knox grabs her by the arm. "You're very pretty when you are angry."

Kane resists the urge to punch Knox in the face! Instead, she says, "Puh-lease!"

"I was wondering if you'd like to go out on a date with the next Mayor of Gotham City, Kathy. Something special . . . just you and me."

"You have a better chance of getting me to vote for you, which, as I said, I won't." Katherine jerks her arm away and storms off.

Knox calls after her, "I'll remember this when it comes time for the City to renew its software contracts!" Kane continues to walk away, ignoring him.

Stung and momentarily let down by Kathy Kane's rebuke, Lloyd Knox quickly switches to Plan "B." He wanders in the general direction of his next target, trying not to be too obvious.

Barbara Gordon greets Knox with "It's good to see you here, Councilman." Barbara, too, prefers Mayor Linseed, but she is enough of a politician to realize that as the head of the downtown library, she should try to stay on good terms with all the members of the City Council. "I'm pleased you're willing to show your concern for Gotham City's libraries."

"Yes, Ms. Gordon, I truly am concerned about the state of the libraries here in the city . . . but there's a second reason I'm here today."

"Oh? and what is that?"

"To ask you for something . . . a date."

"A date?!? You're asking me out?" Barbara asks incredulously.

"Yes, I think we could have a good time together."

"Is that what you said to the ten other women you have spoken to here today?"

"No. Just to you . . . and only to you," Knox lies.

Barbara has to admit she's intrigued by the sheer audacity of the man. 'Besides,' she thinks, 'he's not half-bad looking . . . and he just might well end up being my . . . and Daddy's . . . boss!'
"I'll tell you what, Mr. Knox. I'll go out with you on two conditions."

"And what are those conditions, Ms. Gordon?"

"First, you have to convince your friend, Mr. Flint, to make a substantial donation to help the city's libraries - no strings attached. Second, my father will serve as chaperon on our date."

"You drive a hard bargain, Ms. Gordon, but I'm sure I can obtain Mr. Flint's donation within the hour for say . . . $200,000? Is that substantial enough for you?

Barbara, surprised at both the size and speed of the gift Knox claims he can get, gulps and nods her assent.

"Then I agree to your conditions, Ms. Gordon, because I believe in Gotham City's libraries . . . and because I think a date with you is worth any price."

"Well, all right, Councilman." Barbara declares, "Eight o'clock, tonight, at my apartment . . . and don't be late. Now, if you'll excuse me, it's time to get this show on the road."

Watching Barbara from behind as she makes her way to the lectern, Knox mutters to himself, "Chaperon! Can you believe it?!"

In the crowd, Katherine Kane meets up with her niece, Betty Kane, a sophomore at Woodrow Roosevelt High School and Gotham City's number one girls' tennis player. "Look, Aunt Kathy. Some nerdy boy gave me a paper with a bunch of numbers on them. I wonder what they mean?"

"Perhaps, Betty, it was made by mistake when they ran off the campaign flyers for Lloyd Knox."

"Yeah, he has a lot of people running around passing out these flyers. Perhaps Mayor Linseed miscalculated when he decided to keep Prop L out of his campaign."

Then Betty's face lights up as she changes the subject. "Say, I saw Knox talking to you!. Was he trying to get you to go out with him? The nerve of that creep!"

"Well, he wasn't successful, I can tell you that!" Katherine says with a laugh.

Suddenly, Betty's face brightens even more as she snaps her fingers. "Wilbur Weems!"

"Excuse me?" Katherine asks quizzically.

"That's the name of the boy who gave me this flyer. I don't know him very well, but now I remember him! He is in the Woodrow Roosevelt Chess Club . . . and the Polka Club, too. I wonder what a guy like him is doing working for Lloyd Knox?"

At that moment, as the workers for Lloyd Knox gather and prepare to leave the rally after passing out their flyers, the candidate gets a return call on his cellphone. "Meet me in your office at campaign headquarters in two hours, Councilman. I'll have your check with me."

"Sure. I'll be there," Knox responds.

"And don't be late."

"Yeah, sure. Don't be late." Knox snaps off the connection with disgust. "Where have I heard that before?"

Lloyd Knox is visited by the man who made the call, James Carmel, a bald man with beady eyes. "Welcome, Mr. Carmel, welcome."

"Let me cut this real short. First, here is your check." Carmel hands a check for $200,000 to Knox. Then he continues, "Our two friends, the gentlemen who have made you so far, Mr. Flint and you-know-who, want to know how the campaign is going."

"They can always read the newspaper to find out."

"No. Not good enough. You see, even before this $200,000, we have invested too much in you to see you fail now."

"So, who do you think you are? Candidate for City Treasurer?"

"No, I'm the finance manager for this campaign . . . and others, like Janice Brock's, who is running for District Attorney against that straight-arrow friend of Linseed's, Harvey Dent."

Carmel continues in his Southern drawl with a sly grin on his face, "The voters could have had Jack Smiley running for re-election as District Attorney, but I released that video showing him getting it on with his girlfriend, a girlfriend he didn't know was only 16 years old. That video ruined him and will now give the people Ms. Brock, who works for Mr Flint."

"I see you brought a video, Mr. Carmel."

"Yeah. You want to see it?"

"Sure thing. Why not? There is the VCR and the TV. Put it on."

James Carmel puts on the tape . . . but instead of seeing the tape that ruined Smiley, Lloyd Knox sees a tape of himself talking to mobster Benny the Butcher! It shows Benny telling Knox that he will have all the resources of the mob at his disposal for the campaign, in turn for a little cooperation afterwards. Knox is shown shaking hands with Benny as the tape ends.

"Hey! That's not the tape with Jack Smiley and his girlfriend! That's me! What are you trying to pull, Carmel?"

"We need an insurance policy in case you try something funny as Mayor. Remember, just like Janice Brock, you are our candidate in more ways than one."

At that moment, campaign worker Wilbur Weems bursts into the office of his boss.

"Mr. Knox, I am so sorry for the mistake I made today at Gotham Square Park - oh! . . . I'm sorry. I didn't know anyone was with you."

"That is all right, Weems. In the future, just make sure you do things right the first time . . . and, by the way, knock before opening a closed door to any office . . . especially mine!"

"I'll remember, Mr. Knox . . . Oh, Mr. Knox?"

"Yes, Wilbur?"

"Do you want Domino's, Little Caesar's or Pizza Hut pizza delivered for the office workers here tonight?"

"Not Pizza Hut!" growls Mr. Carmel.

"Wilbur, you make that important decision, all right?"

"Sure!"

"And, Wilbur."

"Yes, Mr. Knox?"

"Get lost, now!"

"Yes, sir!" Wilbur scurries out of the room.

"Maybe you should have a date with him, Knox," Carmel says with a smirk.

"Sorry, Carmel, not my type. I prefer ones of the other sex."

"Like Barbara Gordon? Don't worry, our friend will help you out with that girl, believe you me."

"Believe this, Carmel: You'd better never come to me again and try to tell me what to do. You have no right -"

"What I have is the original of this tape of you incriminating yourself for all the world to see. You can keep that copy. Watch it if you get any bright ideas about double-crossing us. So you'd better use your charm on Barbara Gordon and . . ." Carmel looks at his watch. "Say, I'll get out of here so y'all can get goin'. See ‘ya ‘round, Knox."

After Carmel leaves, Knox orders another campaign worker into his office. It is Myrtle's daughter, Regina. She has been much more to Knox than just a worker since joining the campaign.

"Well, Regina, did you get all of that with Carmel on tape?"

"Yes, sir. Your meeting is on this videotape, thanks to the hidden mini-cam in your office. I don't think he had a clue that you were turning the tables on him." Regina hands the video to Knox.

"Regina, I know a little about this crime business . . . and more than what this Mister Carmel thinks I know. Now, I have a little insurance of my own, to use to my advantage if and when the need arises." Knox puts the tape into his briefcase.

Police Commissioner James Gordon enters the elevator that will take him to the floor of the apartment of his daughter, Barbara. As he enters the empty car, three other men follows him into it. One man is pushing another in a wheelchair. Gordon is shocked as he turns to see that the third man looks exactly like the Commissioner himself!

"What . . . what is this?!" Gordon stammers. "No . . . you!"

"Don't worry, Commissioner, I will use the right hand when impersonating you . . . this time. And I'm even wearing your favorite aftershave - Wellington #4, from Sumatra."

The "twin" sprays some knockout gas in Gordon's face. The man in the wheelchair stands up as the unconscious Commissioner falls into his arms.

"Put him in the chair and take him to the shack outside of town," orders the man in disguise. He gets off the elevator at Barbara's floor. The two henchmen and the unconscious Commissioner ride back down to street level.

The phony Commissioner Gordon rings the bell by Barbara's door. Barbara opens the door and gives her "father" a quick peck on the cheek.

Soon thereafter, the doorbell rings again. Barbara looks through the peephole and sees Lloyd Knox, carrying flowers and what appears to be a box of candy.

"Well, Daddy," Barbara announces, "here he is. Can you believe he asked me for a date during the last days of his campaign?"

Barbara opens the door. "Good evening, Ms. Gordon," says the City Councilman. "These are for you."

"Thank you, Mr. Knox." Barbara examines the flowers. "These are lovely! Let me put them in some water."

As Barbara retreats to the kitchen, she hears her father's voice behind her, "Even though you may become my boss in few days, sir, you have some explaining to do." The imposter has mimicked the Commissioner's voice perfectly. Knox's response is drowned out by the sound of running water.

As Barbara returns to the living room and sets down a vase with the flowers, Knox holds out a check, "I hope this will be sufficient, Ms. Gordon." Knox hands her a check made out to the Gotham City Public Library for $200,000, signed by Harry Flint.

"Thank you, Mr. Knox. This is very generous. I must admit, I'm impressed. Why don't you sit down and get comfortable."

"Thank you."

The faux Commissioner speaks up, "This note came to my office for you, Councilman Knox. It is from the police officers' union."

"Thank you, Commissioner."

"Barbara, let me get the refreshments while you two get to know one another."

The note from the "police officers' union" is in actuality a note from the imposter. It says that everything is under control: the real Commissioner Gordon has been kidnaped and Barbara Gordon will soon drink a potion that the imposter obtained from Marsha, Queen Of Diamonds. The potion will cause Barbara to fall madly in love with the first person she sees after imbibing it!

The man in disguise returns, carrying a tray with a tea pot and tea cups on it. "Here we go. Here is your tea, Barbara."

"Thank you, Daddy."

"Oops! I forgot the sugar. I'll be right back." The imposter departs, leaving Knox alone in the room with Barbara as she sips the drugged beverage.

"Oh! I feel so strange." The potion does its work almost instantly. "Mr. Knox . . . Councilman . . ." Barbara looks up at Knox and immediately becomes enamored with him. She quickly loses control and falls head over heels in love with the man.

"Lloyd, right now there is no one in the world I would rather be with than you!"

The fake Commissioner returns with the sugar bowl in time to hear this comment from his "daughter." "Barbara, Barbara, isn't that a bit much? You hardly know Mr. Knox!"

"No, Daddy, I know what I feel! I'm in love with Lloyd."

The imposter winks at Knox. Things are going just as they planned.

Barbara gets off the couch and pulls Knox up by the arm. He is surprised at how strong she is. "Come on, Lloyd, let's have some fun!"

Soon, loud noises are heard from the apartment. Neighbors can't believe what they are hearing through the usually virtually soundproof walls. One neighbor, both concerned about Barbara and bothered by the noise, calls Police Headquarters.

The neighbor gets through to Chief O'Hara and explains to him what is going on. The Commissioner had told the Chief about his chaperoning duty. Not trusting Knox one bit, O'Hara takes the unusual step of using the Batphone himself.

"We'll get to Ms. Gordon's apartment in a flash, Chief O'Hara!" says Batman.

In no time, Batman and Robin arrive at Barbara Gordon's apartment building. They start a Bat- climb up to her floor. The closer they get, the louder are the noises and the screams of Barbara Gordon!

"NO! NO! WAIT. WAIT. WAIT! NO. NO! HEY! WAIT. WAIT! LLOYD! LLOYD! THAT'S . . . THAT'S IT! WAIT. WAIT. LLOYD! NO! NO! NO! WAIT! LLOYD!! LLOYD!!!"

"Holy Cries for Mercy! Batman, it sounds like Lloyd Knox is doing something to Barbara Gordon!"

"We are almost there, Robin. We'll get him!"

"NO, LLOYD! NO, WAIT, WAIT, HEY, HEY! WAIT! LLOYD!!"

Batman and Robin get to Barbara's apartment balcony. Through the glass door, they see Lloyd Knox hovering over Barbara Gordon and lunging at her. Batman pulls out his Batarang, slides open the door and throws his projectile at Lloyd Knox, hitting him on the head.

"Miss Gordon, are you all right?" asks the concerned Batman.

"Am I all right? Sure, I'm all right! It's you I'm beginning to wonder about, Batman."

"What do you mean?" says Robin. "We thought you were in danger."

"Danger? Lloyd, my father and I were playing charades!"

"Holy Misconception!"

"Charades?" questions the Caped Crusader.

"Yes, Batman," answers "Commissioner Gordon." "That's correct. Barbara, Councilman Knox and I were playing this game - until you two showed up."

Barbara rushes to Knox, who is picking himself off the floor. "Are you OK, Lloyd, my darling?"

"I'll live. Thank you, Barbara."

Barbara turns to the Dynamic Duo. "Batman, I want you and Robin to leave this apartment immediately . . . and use the elevator. I'll drop your Batrope down to you when you get outside. Now please go!"

"We're sorry about the intrusion . . . Ms. Gordon, Councilman Knox, Commissioner Gordon. Come on, Robin."

What Batman doesn't know is that his assault on Knox was videotaped by Knox's hidden mini-cam, placed in the room when Barbara wasn't looking!

Batman's "attack" on Lloyd Knox is front page news the next morning. The video is played over and over on every local TV station.

Not only is Lloyd Knox interviewed repeatedly about the incident, but he uses it as the basis for a whole new series of television ads.

"The tape clearly shows Batman attacking me with his Batarang. He was not under the control of any super-criminal . . . and, in fact, I was with Police Commissioner Gordon at the time!

"Batman came after me because I was the first elected official to back Proposition B . . . and I remain the only Gotham City officeholder to do so. Citizens of Gotham City, I urge you to vote for Prop B. Make Batman accountable to you . . . and please vote for me as the next Mayor of Gotham City. I thank you."

Betty Kane clicks off the television in disgust. "Boy, Batman and Robin are getting the worst of it, Aunt Kathy. That tape of Batman hitting Lloyd Knox on the head is playing all the time. You know, though, it is kind of funny to watch."

"Maybe, but what concerns me is that flyer you received from that Wilbur fellow at the rally."

"Oh? What about it?"

"Well, what if it is some sort of code? Let's see if we can crack it."

At Wayne Manor, Alfred, having been told by Batman that Barbara Gordon was acting strangely, calls his friend. "Hello, Ms. Gordon. This is Alfred."

"Look, Alfred, I have no time to talk to you right now. I must compose some more love poems for my one and only heart's desire, Lloyd Knox. Goodbye."

Alfred is shocked. His friend hardly seems to be the same woman who he knows to be Batgirl!

Meanwhile, in the Batcave, Batman and Robin receive an urgent call from the man they still believe to be Commissioner Gordon. "Yes, Commissioner."

"Batman, moments ago, Lloyd Knox was taken hostage by a group of thugs at Wayne Manor."

"WHAT!"

"It seems Mr.Knox stopped by to see his friend, Bruce Wayne. Shortly after Knox arrived, some hoodlums showed up, planning to rob Wayne Manor. Instead, they kidnaped Councilman Knox. They left word with Wayne's butler that Knox will not be hurt, if you meet someone called The Ringmaster at the Flint Circus Funhouse within the hour! You get all that, Batman?"

"Robin and I will be there in no time, Commissioner!"

As he hangs up the red phone, the fake Gordon smiles to himself. He thinks, 'The trap is sprung. Now, time for a quick change and then - off to the circus!'

Batman explains the situation to Robin. They quickly go upstairs as Bruce Wayne and Dick Grayson to check on Aunt Harriet and Alfred.

"It was so terrible, Bruce," Aunt Harriet sobs as she tries to compose herself. "This Lloyd Knox came by to see you, but then a gang, calling themselves 'The Falsehoods,' broke in, wanting to rob us. Mr. Knox left with them rather than see any harm done to Alfred and me. I'm beginning to understand what you see in Councilman Knox, Bruce. I was quite surprised by his bravery and kindness. I hope he will be all right."

"I assure you, Aunt Harriet, Lloyd Knox wll be fine. The authorities will find him."

Soon thereafter, Bruce and Dick once again become Batman and Robin. They race off in the Batmobile towards the Flint Circus.

Back at Katherine Kane's mansion: "Look, Betty, I've got it!"

"Gosh, Aunt Kathy, someone is setting up Batman and Robin! . . . but how does Wilbur Weems fit into all this?"

"It's hard to say, Betty. Maybe he has nothing to do with it."

"I have some bad news, Aunt Kathy. Wilbur wasn't at school today . . . and he never misses school!"

"You received that flyer from Wilbur yesterday - which means Batman's and Robin's lives are in danger this very minute! We must get to the circus right now, before it's too late!"

Katherine and Betty descend to their Bat Cavern and quickly become Batwoman and Flamebird. They take off in their Bat-Gyros, hoping to make it to the circus in time.

But will the Distaff Duo be too late? Batman and Robin arrive at the Flint Circus. They quickly find the funhouse in a dark, deserted corner of the circus grounds.

A sign hangs on the front door: Closed for Renovation. As the Dynamic Duo approach, they hear a voice over a loudspeaker, "Ah, Batman and Robin! Welcome to the circus! I am your host, The Ringmaster!"

"So, you're the one behind all this, eh, Ringmaster? Where is Lloyd Knox?"

"You will find Lloyd Knox inside my funhouse, in the Hall of Mirrors. Now, if it is . . . er, not false that you are a champion of justice, you will go in there and save Councilman Knox from a horrible fate. On the other hand, if you are a bitter, two-faced crime fighter who holds a grudge, then you and Robin can stay where you are, in complete safety, while Mr. Knox meets his maker! Well, which is it?"

"I play no favorites when someone's life is threatened. Robin and I will enter your little game room."

"Oh, one other thing." The Ringmaster interjects. "Take off your utility belts and throw them on the ground . . . or Lloyd Knox is a dead man!"

Batman and Robin leave their belts on the ground and walk into the funhouse. Before long, they arrive at the Hall of Mirrors. Some fifteen feet in front of them, they see Lloyd Knox, bound and gagged in a chair.

The Dynamic Duo run into a narrow room that has a fifty foot high ceiling. Suddenly, a transparent panel drops down behind them. They screech to a halt as they realize Knox is behind another clear barrier right before them.

"Holy Entrapment, Batman! What have we walked into?"

"I'll answer that, Boy Wonder!" The red-coated figure of a circus ringmaster walks into the room with Lloyd Knox. Deftly, he pulls one strand of Knox's bonds and the ropes fall away. The crooked Councilman, stands up and removes his gag.

"Great work, my friend!" Knox turns to his compatriot in crime. "What now?"

"Now, you get out of here. There's a big crowd here tonight. Go shake some hands or something. That will give you an airtight alibi for the time of death of Batman and Robin!"

"You got it!" Before he leaves, Knox walks up to the clear wall separating him from the trapped crime fighters. "Well, Batman, I guess it really doesn't matter now if Proposition B passes or not!"

The Dynamic Duo glares after the man who would be mayor as he leaves.

The Ringmaster turns towards Batman and Robin. "Now to answer your question, Wonder Boy. That ceiling above you is made of glass. On the other side of this funhouse is the Midway. Against that wall is a sledgehammer and bell strength game for the customers. I'm sure you know the kind of set-up I mean.

"At my circus, we start the day off with a prize of $10 if the player rings the bell . . . but it is a progressive prize. A customer pays $2 for a swing, but a dollar of that goes into the pool. I checked just before you arrived. The prize was up to $93. Once the prize hits $100, people with a real chance to win usually begin to play.

"Now, when the weight hits the bell at the top, the glass ceiling above you will shatter into thousands of pieces. The glass shards will rain down on you, slicing and dicing you to driblets! As we speak, there is a long line of would-be strongmen, unknowingly waiting for their chance to kill Batman and Robin!"

"You fiend!" shouts Batman. "Turning an innocent merrymaker into an unwitting accomplice to murder!"

"Ha, ha, ha! Well, Dynamic Duo, I must bit you adieu. I need to prepare just in case this Batgirl I've heard of decides to show up." The Ringmaster starts to leave, but then turns back towards Batman and Robin.

"Oh! One last thing. I can't let you die without showing you who it really is that finally defeated you!" The Ringmaster rips off his disguise, revealing a grotesque, immobile visage.

"YOU!" the Dynamic Duo cry in unison.

The Ringmaster replaces his mask and walks out of the Funhouse, quite pleased with himself. Less than a minute later, though, he hears the sound of blades cutting through the air. He looks up and sees the Bat-Gyros heading towards him!

"Look, Batwoman!" Flamebird reports over her two-way radio. "There's a ringmaster . . . and it looks like he's none too pleased to see us!"

The Ringmaster stares unbelievingly at the sight above for a few seconds. Then he runs into a dark tent, not far from the funhouse. Batwoman and Flamebird land and run into the tent after him.

The Ringmaster steps out to confront them. "I don't know who you two are, but from your costumes, I can guess you're friends of Batman and Robin."

"Where are they?" Batwoman demands.

"The Dynamic Duo is about to become the Deceased Duo . . . and you two will soon depart this veil of tears as well!"

"There are no words to describe a creep like you!" declares Flamebird.

"Perhaps not, young lady, but, for a start, how about a name? . . .

FALSEFACE!"

"Well, Falseface, Batwoman and Flamebird are going to take you back to jail!" announces Batwoman.

"Not so fast, my dear. I intended this trap for Batgirl, but it will work just as well on you!" Falseface depresses a button on a hand-held control. From dark aisles off the circus ring, the roars of huge cats are heard.

"One might falsely assume that The Joker has something to do with this, since we are at a circus . . . and when the police find what's left of your bodies, they may reach the false conclusion that Catwoman designed your demise.

"In seconds, a Detroit Lion, a Cincinnati Bengal and a Carolina Panther will have the two of you for dinner! Ta, ta, it was nice not getting to know you!"

Falseface ducks out the back of the tent. Coming toward Batwoman and Flamebird are three huge, hungry animals: a lion, a tiger and a panther!

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