Untitled

Part 3: Poké Battles (The Unofficial Azure Version)

By Lil the Insomniac

BTW, when I mention 'this site' or something along those lines, I'm referring to the first website (which may never leave my PC, funnily enough) I ever created: Butterfree's Pokémon Corner.

Part #3: The Powers That Be October 14, 2000
Setting: Unofficial Azure Version World
Player: Lecture Lady [Record: none]

There's too much inconsistentency in your writing, Lil.
The AUTHOR is not LIL!
Since when?
LIL was renamed AUTHOR!
Oh yeah, like that makes any difference.
AUTHOR is TROUBLED!
AUTHOR doesn't understand why you are not respecting it!
Oh, so now you're an IT!
AUTHOR thinks you're CONFUSED!
LL hurt itself in its confusion!
OW! OW!! Hey, I'm not confused - OW!!! I'm not an IT - OW!!! OW!!!
AUTHOR will put it to LL in plain English!
Since when do you get to call me LL?!
LL is ignored!
AUTHOR explains that LIL is the Webmaster of this site and reigns SUPREME! AUTHOR is LIL's creative side, and also has a lot of POWER!
WILL YOU STOP SHOUTING?!
AUTHOR doesn't like your attitude, because it is the only one who allows people to SHOUT!
SO?!
SO YOU DON'T HAVE PERMISSION! What's more, AUTHOR is sick of getting no respect!
Why should I respect you, you big yelling voice of Azure Version? I've got nothing to be afraid of!
LARGE ROCK falls out of the SKY!
Onto LL's foot!
OWWWWW!!!!! That's cheap!
Cheap, but you deserved it.
Are you talking in first, second, or third person?
AUTHOR doesn't know!
AUTHOR is CONFUSED!
AUTHOR hurt itself in its confusio-STOP!!!
AUTHOR doesn't know, and doesn't care!
Face it, without me, your site would be a shambles.
AUTHOR is MAD!
WEBMASTER is MADDER!
WEBMASTER reminds LL that she asked for LL to HELP, not TAKE OVER!
WEBMASTER storms away, leaving AUTHOR to deal with LL!
Actually, storming away isn't a bad idea. I'm sick of having to do all the editing, and being stuck in this black place!
AZURE!
It looks pretty black to me!
AUTHOR says LL wouldn't know any better!
AUTHOR adds that looks can be deceiving!
Why don't you ever let me say more than one line at a time?!
AUTHOR points to where LL said TWO things!
AUTHOR is sick of LL...for now!
AUTHOR will deal with LL after torturing ASH & MISTY, and P1 & P2!
Wait, you can't just leave me here!
AUTHOR ignores LL!
AUTHOR leaves!

Player: Ash [Record: 1win-1loss-0draws Last battle: Loss vs. P1&P2, Part #2]

ASH is kissing MISTY!
MISTY is kissing back!
What are you talking about?! WE ARE NOT!
AUTHOR overlooks illegal use of CAPITAL LETTERS and exclamation marks!!!!!
AUTHOR thinks ASH and MISTY should just give up this last battle and let POKÉSHIPPERs win!
Why should we?!
Because AUTHOR has more important stuff to do!
Like dealing with a getting-dangerous enemy!
You mean...Lecture Lady? But she's your friend!
AUTHOR changed her name to LL, and they're not friends anymore!
So you're asking us to give up our pride and give in?
AUTHOR is not ASKING ASH!
AUTHOR is TELLING ASH!
And what if we say NO?
POKÉSHIPPERs appear!
With the whole POKÉSHIPPERS SOCIETY!
Oh, I'm scared.
AUTHOR doesn't take kindly to SARCASM!
AUTHOR shows that the POKÉSHIPPERS SOCIETY are armed with GUNs!
Hey, this violence could stretch your ratings system!
The GUNs are LOADED!
With APHRODISIACS!
NOOO!!!
ASH runs!
MISTY follows!
The ARMED POKÉSHIPPERS SOCIETY chase ASH and MISTY!
The ARMED POKÉSHIPPERS SOCIETY is renamed APS!

Player: LL [Record: still none] Last battle: earlier, abandoned by Author

AUTHOR gets back to LL!
With ALLIES ASH and MISTY!?
That's right! You shouldn't torture people, you know!
But that's part of the fun! No, ALL of the fun!
The APS catch up at last!
APS ally with AUTHOR!
AUTHOR feels better about this increasingly strange situation!
You know, you have no real power in this battle. Or in Azure Version, for that matter!
AUTHOR thinks you have some strange ideas in your free time!
You've messed up everything!
AUTHOR won't stand for this!
LARGE ROCKs are DROPPED at LL and ALLIES ASH and MISTY!
They missed!

Player: Author

Huh? Hey, what's going on?
NARRATOR laughs evilly!
And so do CO-NARRATORs A and M!
Wait a second, I'm supposed to be in control! ME!
The APS are pointing their GUNs at AUTHOR!
I mean US! Now will you please point your guns somewhere else?
The APS refuse to do what AUTHOR says!
NARRATOR is in command!
WHAT?!
NO ILLEGAL SHOUTING!
Why not? - Uh-oh.
NARRATOR will explain this only ONCE!
At least make the APS put their GUNs down!
NARRATOR doesn't care whether they do or not!
Oh, great.
NARRATOR is losing its PATIENCE with AUTHOR!
AUTHOR was renamed HOSTAGE WITH GAG IN MOUTH!
Who is renamed HWGIM!
...(Stupid abbreviations.)
NARRATOR will finally EXPLAIN!
NARRATOR says that WEBMASTER may reign SUPREME, but is lost without the aspect of it named HWGIM!
HWGIM is also lost without WEBMASTER!
With NARRATORs given automatic control of the Version they are in, nothing now can stop NARRATOR in Azure Version!
CO-NARRATORs agree!
NARRATOR adds that now it's in control, it will rid the Internet of HWGIM and WEBMASTER, then proceed to TAKE OVER BUTTERFREE'S POKÉMON CORNER!
...(AUGGH!)
And then, MICROSOFT!
...(NARRATOR must be mad. Still, who knows what a psycho could do to MICROSOFT?)
NARRATOR chuckles!
CO-NARRATORs chuckle!
...(People chuckling in unison. Scary!)
NARRATOR has wasted enough time with HWGIM!
NARRATOR commands APS to take aim with GUNs at HWGIM, then FIRE!
...(This is going to be worse than death! HEEELLLPPP!!!)
APS have already taken AIM!
GUNs FIRE!
At NARRATOR!
NARRATOR is knocked out!

NARRATOR finally wakes up with GLAZED EYES!
NARRATOR is renamed LL!
LL is staring at CO-NARRATOR ASH!
LL is SMILING SWEETLY!
...(What the heck is going on?)
LL thinks CO-NARRATOR ASH is REALLY CUTE!
CO-NARRATOR ASH screams!
So does CO-NARRATOR MISTY!
CO-NARRATORs run as if pursued by GIANT FALLING ROCKs!
Which they are!
LL turns its attention to a CO-LEADER of the APS!
LL realises the CO-LEADER is a guy!
LL thinks the CO-LEADER is REALLY CUTE!
CO-LEADER screams even louder than CO-NARRATORs!
CO-LEADER runs!
The rest of the APS run!
...(This is freaky.)
HWGIM is renamed NARRATOR!

Player: Narrator

Does this mean I'm NARRATOR again?...Hmm, the colour of this text hasn't changed. Who are you, anyway?
It's NARRATOR, now renamed AUTHOR!
That doesn't make sense.
AUTHOR will make it clear!
WEBMASTER is still WEBMASTER, ruling SUPREME!
You, one aspect of WEBMASTER, have been upgraded from AUTHOR of FANFICS to NARRATOR of Azure Version!
New AUTHOR is another aspect of WEBMASTER!
Oh, great! I get to be NARRATOR of Azure Version! If Azure Version joins the POKÉ BATTLES NETWORK, does this mean I get to be WEBMASTER of AZURE VERSION?
AUTHOR says WEBMASTER doesn't think Azure Version will join the NETWORK! WEBMASTER is too busy to consider it!
Okay. I'll just have to bide my time then. Thanks for the help, AUTHOR!
AUTHOR is HAPPY!
WEBMASTER reminds NARRATOR to thank it as well!
Oops! Thanks, Supreme WEBMASTER!
WEBMASTER is HAPPY!
EVERYONE is HAPPY!
Now, once I get the NARRATOR TEXT COLOUR back, I'm going to make up for this lengthy, pointless story...

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