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<< What am I doing here? I’m in jail for god's sake. What's happened to me? I was a killer, I killed...oh god I killed people>> Faith sat in the room as still as rock. She knew she would be taken and talked to soon. They had some deal with her. She got ‘treatment.’

‘Treatment’ consisted of counseling sessions, lots of counseling sessions. On the up side, she did get to have visitors. At first only Angel came, but as she spent more time in here she knew others would come. Some would be more welcome than others.

<<She'll come when she’s ready, she'll come soon, she always came, why should here be any different?>>

"Time, get moving. Or do you want help?" Faith stood up quickly. She was more than a match for anyone working in this place, but that was something she was getting over. <<What was the point in handing yourself in if you're only gonna do the same thing inside?>> she had thought, just after arriving.

"…So you say you were in a coma?"

"Yep, sure was, and you know what? They really should update their advertising 'cos that place was way different from what they say in all those jingles and stuff" Faith was laying on a couch, answering questions, trying not to get things too complicated for now.

"And how were they different Faith, what was it that makes you think your coma was any different from anyone else’s?"

<<I don’t believe I gotta talk to this guy all the time. What is it, like school or something? Just make sure you don’t say anything about slaying, demons, vampires, working for a snake wannabe...>>

"Faith?"

"Oh, sorry, what was I saying? Oh yeah…. Coma. You know the deal. You get stabbed in the gut, fall off a building, wind up in the hospital for months. Yeah, not at all what you’d think. I mean, what do they say you do when your body is just lying there? I know this sounds kinda freaky, but I just kept going. Not in the 'got up outa bed' way, but I was there, I listened to everything my visitors said. That is when I wasn’t off some place else having fun. But you know what, it isn’t so easy to have fun when you haven’t got a body. And you don’t believe a word I’m saying, do you?"

"It isn’t a question of belief, Faith. It's a question of you. Who are you, why do you do what you do?"

# # # # # # #

(Sunnydale Hospital During summer break – between season 3 and 4)

"I’m here Faith, how are you? I know, you can’t say. You look better, if someone in a coma can look better." Willow fussed around the room for a while, changing flowers, straightening sheets.

"Things are kinda quiet at the moment, Buffy has taken some time off to go and visit her dad. Cordelia left. She went after graduation, don’t know where yet. Angel is gone too. He sent me a letter, I know, Angel writing, sounds so strange huh, anyway, he's in LA. Oz is away with the band, not coming back for a few days. So anyway, what I was getting at is, I can stay here for longer, without anyone thinking anything. Rupert will be coming soon, but that’s all cool. He knows I come all the time…"

<<How can I hear her? Why can I hear her? Great punishment, gotta give it to them they really thought this one out. Make it so she can come and tell me all these things, but I can’t do a thing about it. Just lay here and listen. If only I could let her know I am listening. Even Giles is company. Better than when they aren’t

here; I’m just some girl in a coma for everyone else. These guys care about me.>> Faith mentally shook her head. She wished she could actually perform the act, but her body wouldn’t cooperate. So instead she listened to Willow babble on about all the things she'd been doing. What everyone was up to and how she was sure Faith would ‘love what Rupert is bringing in to tell her this time.’ Faith smiled, or would have if she could.

<<Good old Red, calling Giles 'Rupert.' Makes them sound all chummy>> Somehow this thought made Faith jealous <<Like the two of them would do anything. I saw Red’s vampire self and no matter what she was told, I know about the change. I also know what she told me, I still don’t believe she told me all that stuff. And then I went and fucked it all up. Yeah, great one Faith, who knows, you may have had a chance. Doesn’t matter what she says, I know she can’t forgive me. Not after what I did.>>

# # # # # # #

"You're not listening to me are you?" the man behind the desk asked again, this time gaining Faith's attention.

"Um, sorry. I was kinda off with the fairies, or, whoever."

"Well, I guess there isn’t much point in continuing this today. There wasn’t anything that can’t wait until next time."

"And when is this next time, Doc?" Faith asked standing up and ready to be escorted back to her cell.

"Next time I call you. But don’t worry, it won’t be long. I believe you are having a visitor today."

"Really?" Faith asked with fake enthusiasm written across her face "'Cos, you know I heard they're kinda fun. Doc, just answer me one thing, 'k? Why are you seeing me, I mean, why are you all treating me like I’m in some mental institution instead of jail?"

"I believe that would make for more than one question Faith, and now is not the time to talk about such things. Remember to bring it up next time, good day."

Faith was taken to her cell. Her lone cell. Somewhere along the line they had decided that she was a danger to others. This meant she was alone, not that this was a bad thing. Faith liked it alone, didn’t like other people, they all seemed to have the kind of past that made Faith cringe.

Sitting alone meant lots of time to think.

<<Remember everything I've done, I can remember it all. This has got to be what it’s like for Angel. He remembers shit, he remembers what he's done, only he can deal with it. Look at me, I just think of the same thing over and over….>>

# # # # # # #

Faith advanced on Willow, knife pointed at her throat.

"Looks like I’m the one in charge now, Red. Funny, I think my way is better. Now what am I gonna do?"

# # # # # # #

<<Why did I have to do that? What was I thinking.>> Faith covered her face, leaning into her open hands.

# # # # # # #

"I’m sure you know what I’m wanting...remember, I’m willing to use it." Faith said quietly, putting her knife on a low shelf. "And remember what slayer reflexes are like, don’t try and get it yourself Red."

# # # # # # #

"Oh Red" Faith whispered, a tear making its way down her cheek. "You know how psyched I could get and the boss kinda liked it."

# # # # # # #

Faith picked up her knife, blanching visibly. It was covered in Willow's blood.

# # # # # # #

"Visitor is here." came a loud voice.

"They're treating me like I’m in a bloody psych hospital."

Angel smiled. Something Faith wasn’t used to. "And I would guess you haven’t asked why yet, knowing you."

"So?"

"They're moving you soon. You're being treated like your in a psych ward 'cos that's the kind of place they're going to take you to."

Faith sat, shocked.

"You gotta be kidding me. Not only do they want me locked up, but they’re gonna stick a crazy label on me as well? Great, just great."

"You really don’t think, do you Faith?" Angel said, an amused smile staying on his face. "They're moving you so they can ‘rehabilitate’ you. You go to the new place, talk to all the quacks there, they let you out."

Faith shook her head, "Why would they do that? I’m a killer. They were gonna lock me up for god knows how long. Why the sudden change in plan, what changed things?"

"Someone out there thinks you can change, someone with enough money and enough power to do something about it. This is a second chance, all you have to do is work through all that stuff from the past. Hell, that isn’t going to be easy, I’ve said so before, but if you're strong enough to do that, then you're strong enough to break free from this mess."

<<Angel talking, god I don’t think I've ever heard him sound so normal before. He was always cryptic guy, now all of a sudden he's ‘Mr sensible’...I just don’t get it.>>

"So, that’s it?" Faith asked, still not sure what to say.

"Just behave Faith, behave and talk about things. Here," Angel pulled a package from his jacket "use this. Write things down. The key to getting out is to deal with the past. You have a chance, don’t throw it away."

"And why should they let me out? Look at me Angel, I killed people...people, not just one...many. I was playing for the wrong side. I am bad."

Angel shook his head, his eyes becoming dark again. "One thing Faith."

"What?"

"One reason to try, one reason to hope, one reason to get out of this place and start again."

"And what is that Mr. 'all knowing' guy?" Faith joked.

"Willow." He answered simply.

"How did you...what do you know, did she tell you…?"

"Think it over Faith. I have to go, if I don’t I’m sure Wes and Cordelia will kill each other in the car."

Faith watched him get up and walk out. Looking down she pulled the package across the table and opened it carefully. Inside was a blank book. The pages looked crisp and unused, Faith opened the front and a photo fell out. A photo of Willow and herself together.

# # # # # # #

(PRE BAD GIRLS)

"Hold still will ya Red, it’s gonna take it soon."

"Why don’t we get someone to do it for us?" Willow asked, frowning in time for the camera to catch it.

"Great, now you're gonna look like we were fighting."

"I’m sure Mr. Giles will take the photo for us, come on. He won’t care."

Faith nodded. "Yeah, he’s kinda cool. I mean, when he's not lecturing us about demons and crap."

"Hold still girls, you know you're not making this easy for me, a little more to the left Willow." Giles waved his hand around and the girls giggled again.

"I sure hope we get a picture worth all this fuss, who would've known Giles would be so picky about a photo?" Faith shook her head and laughed again "Then again, why didn’t I think about it?"

"Very funny Faith, now did you want me to do this or not?" Giles asked smiling to himself.

"Go ahead G-man, flash us, oh, you know what I mean." Faith blushed.

"Faith, I do believe you're blushing, may I say it looks quite charming on you, okay, smile."

# # # # # # #

"Happy days." Faith said, slipping the photo back in the book and getting up. "For you?...yeah, maybe if I get outa here I can make things up to you."

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