"The League of Evil Sorceresses, Continued" by Cherryne Edejer

The members of the League:

Cinnabar: A genie, formerly the Mistress of Fire (a.k.a. an evil sorceress)

Saleen: A water elemental (a.k.a. an evil being)

Mirage: Evil Incarnate (a.k.a. an irritating, annoying nuisance)

Together, they make up the League of Evil Sorceresses, Beings and Irritating, Annoying Nuisances. Think about it...

[And now, more minutes from the League...]

Mirage: Today's meeting of the League of Evil Sorceresses, Beings and Irritating, Annoying Nuisances will now come to order.

Saleen: Why haven't we changed that name yet?

Cinnabar: Yeah! The Desert Society of Evil Sorcerers are beginning to wonder about us!

Saleen: You, maybe. They have no doubts whatsoever about *me*.

Cinnabar: Probably because you slept with every last one of them.

Mirage: Now, now, girls. Let's not quarrel. Besides, both of you know we couldn't get to the name-changing business last time because we had to dismiss the meeting early.

Saleen: Oh, yes. And that wasn't because *someone* "accidently" released the Sphinx on us when we brought up the subject last week. Just because you thought the name up, doesn't mean we have to keep it.

Cinnabar: Admit it, Mirage. You made a mistake. Like that's anything new...

Mirage: All right, already! By Chaos, you two are being more annoying than me! So, what do you think we should change it to?

Saleen: Um...

Cinnabar: Er...

Mirage: See? Can't think up anything better, can you?

Cinnabar: I've got it! How about "The Terrible Three"?

Saleen: That's stupid. Only a bunch of lousy cartoon characters would take a name like that.

Mirage: Uh, Saleen?

Saleen: What?

Mirage: Never mind.

Cinnabar: Hey, that name is better than the one we have now.

Saleen: True...

Cinnabar: It's not like we'd have to change it to accomodate new members.  It's not like people are flocking here for membership.

Mirage: Hey! I'll have you know I worked hard to get new members! Remember that telethon the League held last month? (Saleen holds her head.)

Saleen: Unfortunately...

Cinnabar: Yeah. You managed to tick off people from 51 different countries.

Mirage: I know. By the Gods, I love satillite hook-up...

Saleen: Speaking of membership, I thought we were inducting the pairakas today.

Cinnabar: They couldn't make it. I heard someone wouldn't let them out of their silver cage.

Mirage: Hey, Cinn, if you hate it so much here, why did you join?

Saleen: One too many dateless Saturday nights, I'd bet.

Cinnabar: Oh, I'm *so* hurt. And what are you doing here on a Saturday night?

Saleen: Uh, well... Um...

Cinnabar: Don't try to burn the best, 'cause you're playing with fire.

Saleen: Oh, bite me.

Mirage: Ahem. Cinn, you haven't answered my question yet.

Cinnabar: So I like torture. So sue me.

Saleen: But shouldn't the torture be done to someone other than yourself?

Cinnabar: Hmmm... You do have a point, there...

Mirage: Now cut that out! *I'm* supposed be doing the insulting! I'm the Petty Annoyance--er, Evil Incarnate around here!

Cinnabar: Aw... Are we upsetting you, Mirage?

Saleen: Pity the pairakas aren't here to help.

Mirage: Damn good thing, too. By the Gods, those things are annoying...

Saleen: Ahem.

Mirage: Well, they are!

Cinnabar: Jealous, Mirage? After all, those things actually live in your son's home. Wheras *you*...

Mirage: Someone's asking for their tires to be slashed...

Cinnabar: Assuming you haven't done so already.

Saleen: About your son, Mirage... Mmmm... Now, I wouldn't mind taking a dip in *those* waters...

Cinnabar: Skinny-dip?

Saleen: You bet.

Mirage: Do you mind? This is *my son* you're talking about here...

Cinnabar: So, Saleen, how did your date with him go?

Saleen: Ah, the little weasel stood me up.

Mirage: Now there's a shocker. I mean, considering your current track record and all...

Saleen: What do you mean?

Mirage: Hasn't every one of your lovers died?

Saleen: Minor detail. Besides, the same could be said of Cinn.

Cinnabar: Hey! That's not true!

Saleen: Oh, yeah? Prove it.

Cinnabar: Well... Look at Jafar.

Saleen: He's dead!

Mirage: Good example, Cinn.

Cinnabar: But I didn't kill him.

Mirage: That's true. That's because you never slept with him, right, Cinn?

Cinnabar: That's righ... I hate you.

Saleen: Who would be desperate enough to sleep with Jafar in the first place? Oh, I forgot about kitty over here.

Mirage: Oh... Go soak your head or something.

Cinnabar: Some Evil Incarnate. Can't even think up a decent insult.

Mirage: Shut up!

Cinnabar: See?

Mirage: At least my lovers don't die!

Cinnabar: Not all my lovers are dead. There is Mozenrath... And he is quite lively.

Saleen: Ooo... Do tell.

Mirage: Uh, girls? Let's not get catty, okay?

Saleen: Look who's talking! C'mon, Cinn. Spill it.

Cinnabar: Gladly.

[Unfortunately, the stenographer's pencil chooses to snap at this very moment and she has to go out and buy a new one.]

Saleen: Wow... You did all that?

Cinnabar: Wait, I haven't told you about how we filled the bathing pools in the Citadel with chocolate syrup... Say, Mirage, you've been awfully quiet during this entire conversation. Is there something wrong?

Saleen: Well, after the way you've been talking about her son, is it any wonder?

Cinnabar: Oh, yes. He is your son, isn't he, Mirage? How thoughtless of me to talk about him that way. In front of his own mother, too. How terrible it must've been for you, Mirage... Now, where was I?

Saleen: Something about chocolate syrup, I believe.

Cinnabar: Oh, yes. Well, after that we broke out the whipped cream and---

Mirage: I'm so proud of him!

Cinnabar: Huh?

Saleen: You are?

Mirage: It's so gratifying that my little kitten is growing up to be such a sick and deprived young man! Just like his father...

Saleen: Hopefully that's all he's inherited from his father... (Sighs.)  Well, looks like Mirage might just be worthy of that title of Evil Incarnate, after all.

Cinnabar: Or at least, Petty Annoyance Incarnate.

Mirage: Glad to see that you've finally realized that, girls. Now, can we *finally* get down to the business at hand? I'd like to get out of here before the next millenium, please. Saleen, read the minutes from last week's meeting.

Cinnabar: Say... Who takes down these minutes, anyways?

Saleen: That's a good question. I'm not the one taking them down.

Cinnabar: Probably because you can't write.

Mirage: Stuff it, Cinn. I think Saleen is onto something here.

Saleen: As I was saying, before I was so sadly insulted, Mirage over here only writes in ancient Egyptian hieroglyphics in a pathetic attempt to tick people off, and pencil and paper go up in flames in your hands, Cinn. Just who is writing this stuff down, anyways?

*Ah-choo!*

Saleen: Did you hear that?

Cinnabar: Hear what?

Saleen: Somebody sneezed.

Mirage: I heard it, too. I think it came from behind that curtain over there.

(Mirage, Saleen and Cinnabar walk up to said curtain and pull aside, revealing a petite, dark-haired young woman holding a pencil and a bunch of papers. She grins guiltily at the three.)

Cherryne: Yipe! Pay no attention to the girl behind the curtain! Darn cat allergies... (Sniffles.)

Mirage: Who in the name of Chaos are you?

Cherryne: Er... Nobody! Just your normal, average fan femme...

Cinnabar: Since when are fan femmes normal and average? (Mirage gives Cherryne a cold, calculating look.)

Mirage: Say... You look kind of familiar, though...

Saleen: Yeah. You sort of look like Cinn here.

Cinnabar: Up yours, Saleen.

Cherryne: Actually, I write for a talk show. You may have heard of it.  It's called "Toon Talk". (Mirage narrows her already slitted eyes.)

Mirage: Oh, *really*? (Grabs Cherryne by the collar and hauls her up bodily.)

Cherryne: Eeep! Not *that* one! The one your son is on!

Mirage: Oh. That's okay then. (Puts Cherryne down.)

Cherryne: Whew! Thanks. Well, if you must excuse me, I really must be going... (Cherryne tries to inch her way past them but is blocked by Saleen.)

Saleen: Say, weren't you taking down our minutes? (Cherryne looks guilty again.)

Cherryne: So I was. Heh heh heh...

Saleen: Why do you write them down in the first place? (Cherryne raises her hand like a boy scout.)

Cherryne: As a devoted villain fan femme, I find it my duty to copy down your priceless words for posterity. And without being paid for it, too.

Cinnabar: Yeah, *right*.

Cherryne: Okay, so I use it for fan fiction.

Mirage, Saleen & Cinnabar: WHAT?!?

Cherryne: Oops. Maybe I shouldn't have said that out loud...

Saleen: You mean, people actually *read* that stuff?

Cherryne: Um, yeah.

Mirage: And they call us sick...

(Meanwhile, Cherryne grabs her papers and runs for it. Mirage, Saleen and Cinnabar look at each other, nod and chase after her. Not so much to get the papers as to have someone to torture.)

[End of minutes.]

* * *

Copyright, Cherryne Edejer 1996.

Cinnabar is my own character and anyone using her without my permission will get... well, burned. 8;-)<

The pairakas are the property of Wendy Welch Lee. Although, I doubt they'd admit to belonging to anyone...

All other characters are property of the Walt Disney Co.