TREACHEROUS LADIES

by Maurycy Rustecki

 One of the deals from the last "Philip Morris" was described as an example of simplicity in bidding by an expert - Omar Sharif himself.
 Here is the deal in full: 
             S-Q1084
             H-K7
             D-Q42                      The bidding suggested by Omar Sharif:
             C-Q865
                                           W        N      E        S
 S-K93         N         S-AJ72           -----------------------------
 H-AQ6      W     E      H-52              2NT      -      3C       -
 D-AKJ10       S         D-97              3D       -      3NT      -
 C-A107                  C-KJ432
             S-65
             H-J109843
             D-8653
             C-9
 But as we all know, no one, not even the great Omar Sharif, will teach our top players how to bid!
 Our top National League, First Division pair, simply knew better: 
                          W                 E
                         ---------------------
                          1C                1S
                          2D                2H
                          2NT               3C
                          3NT               4C
                          6NT               --
W: 1C (I've got one of a dozen or so variants of the Polish Club)
E:  1S (and I've got some points and some spades)
W: 2D (how much of this stuff?)
E:  2H (not so much, 4 spades and up to 11 points)
W: 2NT(anything else that might interest me?)
E:  3C (yes, a club suit)
W: 3NT(not very much, so maybe it's enough?)
E:  4C (are you kidding? with a hand like this?)
W: 6NT(well, my hand isn't bad either!)

 North didn't like the idea of leading any suit in particular, but he had no choice. In despair and not being able to chose between all the ladies, he led the King of hearts.

 Like any other top player and a real pro, West had faith in himself and his and his partner's decisions, so he didn't felt satisfied with the eight tricks he saw at this point, but decided to try for more. The ninth trick was easy, the club finesse of course. Only three tricks more? A cup of tea! Let's give them a club, and the last club will be number ten!
 After the safe heart return by North, West played the diamond Ace, the King of spades and finessed the spade Queen. Ace of spades followed in hope for the split. Tough luck! Did he need yet another finesse?
 Now he began to think: North is no fool, so why such a crazy first lead? Maybe he had no choice, but a simple case of too many ladies? And with only three cards left, two of them spades, the diamond Queen in the North's hand must simply drop. And drop she did, very red and very ashamed.