*Fireworks go off, the camera pans around the Furinkan High School gymnasium*
Lina: Did we say March, we meant May, yeah that's the ticket.
Kaji: But you said March.
Lina: Can it goat boy. We've got much to do and only 12 pages to cover it in so let's not waste anytime. First up is Kero vs Priss Asagiri.
Kaji: Our director of public relations?
Lina: Nope, you see our reality is not the only relatity, in fact there are multiple worlds similar to our own only with minor changes. To make a long story short we pulled this "alternate" Priss out of her world and brought her here to kick Kero's yellow butt.
Kaji: Wouldn't it have been cheaper to just ask our Priss to fight?
Lina: Where's the fun in that. oh it's getting ready to start.
*Band starts to play Groovy*
Tenchi: Ladies and gentlemen coming down the aisle accompanied by Sakura from the cover of the Clow Kero.
*the applause give way to the band playing Y'know*
Tenchi: His opponent from Tokyo, Priss Asagiri.
*Bell*
Lina: Here we go and things are underway as Kero rushes Priss. Priss with the sidestep, and Kero runs into the ring post. Bumped his little head.
Kaji: No matter how small you are that hurts big time.
Lina: Priss grabbing Kero by the scruff of his neck. Kero squirming, flailing wildly with those rights and lefts but not landing a single one. Kero is looking exhausted as Priss drops him to the canvas. Going for the elbow drop, misses. Cover, one. Priss back up, and she's got Kero in tossing form. She balls Kero up and tosses him. Oh shoot.
*Lina and Kaji duck down as Kero bounces off the wall behind them back towards the ring*
Kaji: Now that's what I call a close shave, wouldn't you agree.
Lina: Indeed it was Kaji, Priss is not looking as Kero comes screaming back into the ring. *Loud thud as Kero hits Priss in the head* Ouch that's gotta hurt. Priss is down, cover and Carrot Glace down for the count. One two...no. Priss is back up, she's going outside to get a chair.
Kaji: Isn't this overkill, I mean coffee cup would be more than enough.
Lina: Carrot Glace checking with Kero to see if he can possibly go on, I don't know how Kero can even keep moving. Priss climbing into the ring, wait a minute Sakura's on the appron.
Kaji: She's got something behind her back.
*Sakura whacks Priss with her wand*
Lina: Sakura with the headshot to Priss, who drops that chair. Kero back up, he's got the dazed Priss set up, DDT on the chair. Cover count. One, two, three it's all over.
*Band starts to play Groovy*
Tenchi: Here is your winner, Kero!
*Applause*
Lina: Odd way to start a card but we're underway here at the Furinkan High School Gym home to such famous matches as Ranma vs. Kuno, Ranma vs. the cats and the infamous cookout between Akane, Shampoo, Ukyo and Kodachi.
Kaji: How did that one end?
Lina: With Ranma getting his ass kicked.
Kaji: Oh yeah. Well let's hope that history doesn't repeat itself as he and Akane Tendo face off against the tag team champions Kei and Yuri, the Dirty pair. But that's later on, next up is a match I'm very much looking forward to.
Lina: Yes that's right folks because you demanded it, Honey and Nanako will do battle in short skirts. But for those of you interested in checking something else out while this is on we will completely understand.
Kaji: I'll be glued to my monitor *Lina thwaps Kaji with a rolled up newspaper* ouch!
Lina: Bad dog!
Lina: Okay we're back and it's time for the *shudders* Silicon Valley Match.
Kaji: Whoo-hoo!
*Lina gives Kaji 'the look'*
Kaji: *ahem* ah he he
Lina: As I was saying, it's a match sure to please some people *glares at Kaji* but there is something at stake, the winner of this match will receive a shot at the AWF Underground Title in the near future. This is a standard match falls can only occur in the ring, there are disqualifications and count outs.
*Cutey Honey starts playing*
Lina: Looks like they can't wait, let's go to Tenchi Masaki at the ring.
*In the ring*
Tenchi: This contest is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first from Cosplay City, Cutey Honey.
*Hoots and hollers*
*Band stars to play Nanako's Choice*
Lina: Where is she?
Kaji: Dammit screwed again!
Lina: Can it *nails Kaji with a left hook*
*Kaji rubs his cheek*
Lina: Well it looks like Nanako didn't show up.
Nanako: Wait!
*Nanako is running to the ring*
Kaji: You know this almost makes it worth the wait.
Lina: Nanako in the ring, Honey drops the elbow across the back of Nanako's head. Honey has Nanko hooked up, back supplex. Cover, count. One, two. Kickout. Honey is getting in Asuka's face about the count. Nanako to her feet and a quick kick to Honey's back. Honey is staggered by the kick and grabs onto the ropes to balance herself. Nanako heading over to the Honey. Honey with a rushing clothesline, ducked by Nanako. Honey off the ropes, she hits the drop kick.
*Loud bouncing sound*
Kaji: She connected to the chest.
Lina: Thank you Mr. Obvious. Honey hits the canvas hard on the bounce. Both competitors are down. Asuka administering a ten count.
Asuka: one, two, three, four *Honey gets up*
Lina: Honey to her feet, stomp to Nanako's head. Honey's got an arm, she locks down an armbar on Nanako's left arm. Nanako is in some serious pain now.
Kaji: If Nanako doesn't reach the ropes soon, Honey's going to break that arm.
Lina: Nanako reaching for the bottom rope. She's got it, break the damn hold.
Kaji: Honey isn't letting go. Asuka to the outside, she's got a chair. What the hell *Loud metal thud*
Asuka: I said break the hold.
Lina: Asuka nails Honey in the back with that steel chair. Honey is to her feet and in the face of Asuka.
Kaji: Looks like Honey doesn't like being told what to do.
Honey: Honey Flash!
*Honey begins to chage into her dominatrix form. Asuka is distracted by the light*
Lina: Nanako's got that chair *Nanako wraps the chair across Honey's head putting a large dent in the chair* Nanako ditching the evidence, that's going to be a nice souvenir for some lucky audience member. Honey set up for the ride, Fisherman's supplex!
Kaji: Asuka is still blinded, no she's recovered, counting, one two three. It's all over Nanako wins the match.
*Band stars to play Nanako's Choice*
Tenchi: Here is your winner, Nanako.
*Nanako starts to skip around the ring*
Kaji: Ah the joy of victor eeeee *Kaji hits the table*
Lina*Pockets her mallet* And the agony of defeat. We'll be back with Rally Vincent and Meryl Stryfe.
Lina: Okay we're back and ready to go as Pistol Packing Mama Rally Vincent faces off with the insurance girl who is just constantly pissed off in Meryl Styfe.
Kaji: Why does that sound so familiar to me?
Lina: Are you sure you want to choose those words?
Kaji: Uh no.
Lina: Good boy. Anyway things are setup in the ring as Bean Bandit makes a last minute check of the ring. Looks like he's ready.
*Band starts to play HT*
Tenchi: Introducing first from the Bernardelli Insurance Society Meryl Styfe.
*Band starts to play Hateshinai Toiki*
Tenchi: Her opponent from Chicago Illinois, Rally Vincent.
*Bell*
Lina: They lock it up in the center of the ring. Meryl with a nice collar and elbow tieup. Rally down to one knee. Kick to the ribs by Meryl as Rally drops down. Meryl release the hold, boot to the face of Rally, she goes down. Meryl with a nice elbow drop. Cover, one and a kickout.
Kaji: Too soon for her to try that. Rally will not go down that easily.
Lina: You're right about that. Meryl to her feet, off the ropes, drops the elbow, misses. Rally to her feet. Meryl sluggish to get up. Rally waiting. Meryl turns around, Rally quick kick to the midsection. Grabs the neck. She's got Meryl in the hangman. She hits the neckbreaker. Rally's making a slitting motion across her throat.
Kaji: What's she gonna do?
Lina: Climbing to the top rope. Guillotine leg drop. Meryl is laid out flat. Rally looks to have this wrapped up nicely. Wait a second there's Wolfwood coming to the ring.
Kaji: What's he doing here?
Lina: Wolfwood as you remember lost to Rally at the last PPR, due to Vash's interference. But right now he just seems to be standing there. Bean Bandit over the top rope he's gonna get rid of Wolfwood.
Kaji: What the hell? Why is there a giant bush suddenly in the ring?
Lina: Huh?
*Millie pops out of the bush with her stun gun and blasts Rally into the corner. She then scurries out of the ring*
Kaji: You know I would have never thought her to be the sneaky type.
Lina: I'm more surprised that she actually was able to hide in that small bush. Rally is out cold as Meryl is starting to get to her feet. Wolfwood backing out of the entrance way as Bean heads back to the ring.
Kaji: Meryl is kinda out of it.
Lina: She grabs the unconcious Rally and hooks her up. Brainbuster, she just spiked Rally in the center of the ring. Bean Bandit back in the ring. Cover count, one two three. It's all over. Chalk up an assist to Millie and Wolfwood as Meryl wins her first match in the AWF.
Kaji: Are they a team or something?
Lina: That's a question for Miyuki as she interviews Meryl in the back. Take it away Miyuki.
*Backstage*
Miyuki: Meryl you obviously gave it your all but when all was said and done it took the three of you to beat Rally Vincent.
Wolfwood: (interupting) Yeah like it took her Vash and an extra bullet to beat me. So let's just say we're *Vash rushes in and pounds Wolfwood in the back of the head*
*Security and referees rush in to separate the two of them*
Wolfwood: Just remember it's you and me this time no help.
*Wolfwood Millie and Meryl leave as Vash is finally clamed by security*
Miyuki: Back to you Lina.
*Booth*
Lina: Thanks Miyuki, well things are just starting to heat up, next up Noin vs. Ryoko Takeuchi so keep it right here.
Lina: Well you knew it had to happen sooner or later with all the one eyes running about we just had to find out who was the toughest of them all.
Kaji: Unfortunately we couldn't get all of them here for a battle royale so we picked the only two who would work for cab fare. Ryoko Takaeuchi and Lieutenant Noin.
Lina: I think we're all set up, let's go to the ring and Tenchi Masaki.
*Band starts to play Carnival Babel*
Tenchi: Introducing first from Tokyo; Ryoko Takaeuchi.
*Band plays Rhythm Emotion*
Tenchi: Her opponent from Lake Victoria, Lieutenant Noin.
*Bell*
Lina: Ryoko out of the corner with a stiff arm clothesline knocking down Noin. Ryoko misses with a stomp, Noin sweeps the leg. She locks on an ankle lock, but Ryoko grabs the bottom rope.
Kaji: A lot of action in a short time.
Lina: Noin yanks on that ankle and pulls Ryoko. She just landed chest first on the canvas she could have a cracked sternum.
Kaji: This are looking dangerous.
Lina: Noin with repeated stomps to the chest. Ryoko is in some serious pain now. Noin drops the elbow. Cover, one two and a kickout, two count only.
Kaji: A lot of tenacity out of Ryoko but how long do you think she'll last. I mean Noin is a trained soldier.
Lina: That's true as Noin picks up Ryoko, she's setting her up for a gutbuster. And she hits it. Cover count one two three. It's over.
Kaji: Damn shame.
*Band starts to play Rhythm Emotion*
Tenchi: Here is your winner Lieutenant Noin.
Lina: That match was shorter than expected but up next it's going to be a battle of the mad scientists.
Lina: We're back and this is a battle of the mad scientists so to speak as well known cat lover slash slut Ritsuko Akagi does battle with evildoer slash vicitim Professor Tomoe. This should be an interesting match don't you agree Kaji.
Kaji: I agree with everything except the slut part. In the years I've known Ritsuko I have never gotten any.
Lina: Well I guess that is odd. What with you being the low end of the sex food chain at Nerv and all, one would figure you'd have gotten some.
Kaji: That's right *realizes implication* Hey!
*Fly me to the Moon starts*
Tenchi: Introducing first, from Tokyo-3 accompanied to the ring by Gendo Ikari; Ritsuko Akagi.
*cat calls from the audience*
Ritsuko: Little sons of...
*Moonlight Densetsu starts*
Tenchi: Her opponent from parts unknown Professor Tomoe.
*Bell*
Lina: Tomoe with a boot to the midsection. Slaps on the head lock right away, Ritsuko straining but manages to push him into the ropes. Tomoe off the ropes Ritsuko with a nice back body drop. Ritsuko grinding that heel into the eye of Tomoe. We've got blood.
Kaji: Maybe it's just ketchup.
Lina: Another shot the head with her heel and Tomoe is rolling around in some serious pain. Ritsuko to the outside she's got a steel chair. Shun Mitaka trying to stop her. Tomoe to his feet, reaches over and nails a shot to the face.
Kaji: That was a cheap shot, of course in this situation that's probably the only way he'd stand a chance.
Lina: Ritsuko stunned, Tomoe nails a lariat. Cover count one two kickout. Tomoe to his feet and stomps Ritsuko. Drops the elbow across the chest. Cover one kickout. Tomoe going for the ankle lock, Ritsuko slips out of her shoe.
*Camera shoes up Ritsuko's skirt*
Kaji: Just a little flash.
Lina: I'll flash you pervert fireball. *Kaji is on Fire*
Kaji: Ahhhhh hot hot hot.
Lina: Back in the ring Ritsuko and Tomoe to their feet, Ritsuko goes for a kick the midsection. Caught, ensiguri to the back of Tomoe's head. He is down.
Kaji: (still on fire) oh god it burns.
Lina: Hey I'm trying to work here, Freeze Arrow.
*Kaji is frozen*
Lina: Ritsuko picks up Tomoe, hooks the pants. Vertical supplex and he goes down hard. Cover count and a kickout only two. Ritsuko picking him up, German supplex, and another going for three yes she nails it. Referee's count and Tomoe rolls out at two and three quarters. He is hurting something awful. Ritsuko to the corner, three point stance. Spear! Tomoe is slammed into the corner and he is hurting. Ritsuko puts him on the top rope. Hook of the leg...Fisherman's supplex off the top turnbuckle she's still holding it. One two three. It's over it is all over. Ritsuko nails the top rope Fisherman's supplex for the three count.
*Bell*
*Band starts to play Fly me to the Moon*
Tenchi: Here is your winner, Ritsuko Akagi
Lina: It looks like it took a lot out of her. She is hurting as Gendo and Shun help her out of the ring. When we come back be sure to keep an eye on your wallet and your snacks it's Lupin and Yotsuya facing off one on one. And we're pretty sure Kaji will have thawed out by then stay tunned.
*Kaji is bundled up with a hot water bottle on his head*
Kaji: (sneezes) I don't see why you had to do that I was on fire, you could have just used a hose like a normal person Achoo!
Lina: Well hey what are you gonna do? Okay it's time for the battle of the theives as Lupin the third takes on Yotsuya uh the first. Let's go to the ring.
*Tsuki to Taiyou no Meguri starts*
Tenchi: Ladies and gentlemen this is a special Carson City Silver dollars match, suspended above the ring is a sack of five thousand dollars in US silver dollars. The goal is to retrieve the sack and to pin your opponent. The winner can keep the money. Introducing first from Japan Lupin the Third.
*Hello Sadness begins to play*
Tenchi: His opponent from Room 4 at Maison Ikkoku, Mr. Yotsuya.
*Bell*
Lina: Yotsuya already trying to climb up the pole but Lupin grabs the pants of Yotsuya and yanks him to the canvas. Lupin goes for a stomp, Yotsuya catches the foot and brings him down to his level. Locks on a head lock. Lupin is getting drowsy.
Kaji: Break out the PJs.
*Crowd starts cheering for Lupin who is struggling to stand up as Yotsuya clamps on the head lock*
Lina: Lupin feeding off the crowd's energy has risen to his feet. Punch to the stomach, and another Lupin free. Left to the face, another and another the wind up and there's the right hook and Yotsuya is down. Lupin off the ropes, over the body, off the other side pose for the crowd twitching elbow. Cover count one and a quick kick out by Yotsuya.
Kaji: Can't keep the snake down for long.
Lina: Both men to their feet, Lupin swings and misses. Yotsuya...hits the atomic drop. Lupin in a world of pain. Turns around running clothesline from Yotsuya. Yotsuya is going for the silver dollars again. Lupin is still down as Yotsuya is to the top of the pole. He's got the sack. Lupin to the corner. Oh my god he just crotched Yotsuya across the top turnbuckle.
Kaji: That was nuts.
Lina: Lupin's got the silver dollars, he whacks Yotsuya with the sack. He's out cold. This could be all over. Lupin going for the big finish. He climbs the turnbuckle. Top rope hurricanranna. Cover, count one two three. It's all over.
*Band starts playing Tsuki to Taiyou no Meguri*
Tenchi: Here is your winner Lupin.
Lina: Lupin scores the pinfall with an impressive hurricanranna off that top rope. Now he's five thousand bucks richer and that means we've lost our monthly budget for beer.
Kaji: What? No more beer? Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!
Lina: Fraid so. Oh well. Next up Ataru Moroboshi does battle with Keitaro Urashima. But one has to ask themselves this deep philosophical question? What the hell were we thinking.
Kaji: No beer and no TV make Kaji go crazy.
Lina: Um we'll be right back. *to Kaji* Pull yourself together man.
Kaji: Let me do this one you always get to do the promos.
Lina: Fine fine, go ahead.
Kaji: Yes. Our next match features two healthy young men...
Lina: (interrupting) healthy? I think that may be pushing it a little.
Kaji: What? I mean it's not like they have a terminal disease or anything?
Lina: Unless you count the perversion.
Kaji: They're men, all men are perverts. As I was saying, these two healthy young men will do battle here in our very ring. The prize is...um hey Lina what is the prize?
Lina: You idiot. It's the...uh I forgot. Let's ask Miyuki. Miyuki, what's the prize for the winner?
*Backstage Miyuki is making out with Carrot Glace. Miyuki turns around stunned*
Lina: Uh nevermind.
Kaji: Let's just say the winner gets lunch.
Lina: Okay this is officially a match for...LUNCH.
*Band starts to play Sakura Saku starts*
Tenchi: Introducing first Keitaro Urashima.
*Band starts to play Lum's Love song*
Tenchi: His opponent Ataru Moroboshi.
*Bell*
Lina: The two of them are standing in the middle of the ring it's a classic stare down. Ataru looks focused. Keitaro with a boot to the midsection. Hooks the arm, short-arm clothesline. Ataru down in the middle of the ring. Elbow dropped across the chest of Ataru. Cover count and a kickout.
Kaji: He's going to have to do better than that Ataru has been living with Lum for years, you build up quite the resistance to pain that way.
Lina: Ataru up, and so is Keitaro. Ataru ducks a wild right hand. Shoves Keitaro in the corner. Knife edge chop across the chest.
Crowd: Whoooo!
Lina: And another
Crowd: Whoooo!
Lina: That makes three!
Crowd: Whoooo!
Lina: SHUT UP!
Crowd: NO!
Lina: Back to the ring, Ataru with an Irish whip. Reversed. Ataru hits the turnbuckle chest first. Keitaro goes for the belly to back supplex. Ataru blocks, reversal. Ataru going for the belly to back. No, reversed again, kick to the groin. Keitaro falls back. Cheap shot by Ataru. But we're getting word that this has been made a no disqualification match.
Kaji: Wow then maybe they should have put something better than lunch on the line.
Lina: Fine we'll throw in dinner and uh...
Kaji: Naru's bra.
Lina: What the...how'd you get that?
Kaji: Happosai gave it to me backstage. It's a nice one two, lace and everything.
Lina*:under her breath* Oh great that old goat her, if he shows up I'll ram a dragon slave right down his throat *normal voice* Okay back in the ring they're both down. What the hell? They're both down. Bean Bandit is up to seven as Ataru finally gets to his feet.
Kaji: Can we see a replay of what happened?
*split screen, on the left is live on the right is the replay. The live picture shows Ataru and Keitaro struggling to get up*
Lina: Okay there's the two of them after the groin shot, Keitaro's down. Ataru to the outside to get a chair. Swings and misses. Keitaro rolling to the outside, now he's got a chair. They're fencing with the chairs. The wind up and *the two of them whack each other with the chair* Ouch.
Kaji: I didn't know it was possible for two people to hit each other with chairs at the same time.
Lina: You learn something new everyday my friend. As we're back to live action and they're both back at it. Keitaro with a whip into the ropes going for a back body drop. Ataru stopping short. Hooks the head, DDT! Going for the cover, one two kickout. No stopping Keitaro. Ataru complaining about a slow count. Bean Bandit grabbing Ataru by the collar and telling him to quit his whining.
Kaji: Unlike some other promotions, our officials don't take nothing from nobody.
Lina: True, and Ataru turning around, Keitaro nails him in the head with that chair. Setting the remains of the chairs up. Running bulldog onto the chairs. Cover, count one, two kickout. Ataru will not go down. Keitaro going to the outside, tossing in some goodies.
Kaji: Table, broomstick, copy of War and Peace, five iron no wait changes his mind he's going with a four iron, and a fire extinguisher.
Lina: Ataru starting to stir, he's gripping the broomstick. Keitaro into the ring with a fresh chair. Ataru swings and misses with the broomstick. Bean Bandit catching the shot and making short work of the broomstick. Keitaro with a chair shot to the leg. Sweeps Ataru's leg out from under him. Chair shot again to the leg. Keitaro setting up the table. Ataru struggling to his feet. He's go that fire extinguisher. Sprays the eyes of Keitaro, he's down. Ataru getting the four iron. He's going to the tee off on his...
Kaji: Hey how come I don't get to say that.
Lina: Oh great now the moment's gone. Ataru swinging. Keitaro's got the book, blocks the shot. The four iron is broken off.
Kaji: Nobody get's through War and Peace.
Lina: Ataru in shock, Keitaro hits the injured leg with the book and Ataru is down. Keitaro picking up Ataru at his head. Whips him into the far side. Back body drop through the table. Cover count. One, two three. It's all over.
*Bell*
*Band starts to play Sakura Saku*
Tenchi: Here is your winner Keitaro Urashima.
Lina: Hard fought battle out of those two as Kaji goes down to present Keitaro with his prizes, two gift certificates for the Sizzler and *shudders* Naru's bra.
*In the ring*
Kaji: It's not much but here's your prize good match.
*Keitaro takes the prizes, and holds out Naru's bra*
Keitaro: Huh?
*Naru enters the ring through the crowd, Kaji sides steps out of the ring*
Naru: Hello...
Keitaro: Wait, it's not what it seem...*Keitaro is kicked clear out of the ring and three rows into the crowd*
*back in the booth*
Kaji: Wow she kicked him helluva far.
Lina: Well he won, but at what cost. Stay tuned folks Vash the Stampede and Nicholas D. Wolfwood do battle...next!
*Begin promo*
Lina: (voice over) At our last PPR Nicholas D. Wolfwood was beaten in a gun fight by one Rally Vincent. The baffling thing was that Rally had used up all her bullets. The mysterious sixteenth bullet cost Wolfwood his debut match in the AWF.
Kaji: Wolfwood knew exactly who shot the gun that ended a guaranteed victory and later that evening he showed his appreciation for their interference.
*clip from the end of the last card of Vash being hit by Punisher*
Lina: Tonight Vash and Wolfwood do battle in a no holds barred street fight. Who will come out the victor? A shot at AWF Mainstream gold goes to the victor.
*Back in the ring*
Tenchi: Ladies and gentlemen this contest is a special number one contender's match for the AWF Mainstream title. The winner will get a shot at the AWF Mainstream Champion at our next card whenever and wherever it is.
*Band starts to play HT*
Tenchi: Introducing first, from parts unknown...Vash the Stampede.
*Band continues to play HT*
Tenchi: His opponent, Nicholas D. Wolfwood.
*Bell*
Lina: The two of them lock it up in the center of the ring, Wolfwood applies the hammerlock to Vash. Straightens out the arm, Irish whip. Vash coming off the ropes into a vicious clothesline from Wolfwood. He's going to the out side and he's got a bucket, and wrench.
Kaji: What is he planning to do change the oil in his bike?
Lina: Wolfwood back in the ring as Vash is starting to get up, but Wolfwood puts a stop to that with that bucket. He's put it on Vash's head.
*Wolfwood starts to bang on the bucket to a rhythm*
Kaji: It's a nice beat but can you dance to it?
Lina: Wolfwood using Vash's head as a drum kit. Vash doesn't take too kindly to that and puches Wolfwood in the groin.
Kaji: That was just low.
Lina: And Wolfwood returns the favor with that wrench.
*Kaji grimaces*
Lina: Both men in some pain in that ring. Vash back to his feet, an amazing recovery from that groin shot. Vash kicks Wolfwood in the ribs. Stomping on those ribs.
Kaji: Those boots have to be steel toed. Wolfwood may have bruised ribs...or worse.
Lina: Wolfwood catches the boot and pushes Vash to the mat. Wolfwood crawling over to Vash. He's locked on the ankle lock. Vash has the ropes as Soun Tendo breaks up the hold. Vash to his feet, picks Wolfwood up by the hair. Setting him up for the piledriver. He hits it, looks like it's all over for Wolfwood. Vash to his feet motioning to the back.
Kaji: What the hell is he doing? He's got a guaranteed pin.
Lina: Rally Vincent coming from the back, she's got a baseball bat. Vash ties Wolfwood to the tope ropes. Rally with a shot to the ribs, and another. This is a mugging. Vash to the outside now he's got a table. Tosses it into the ring. Rally sets it up.
Kaji: Somebody better get out here to help Wolfwood.
Lina: Vash back in the ring, unties Wolfwood. Whips him into the ropes, looks like he's going for a back body drop, no he hooks the legs, Rally's got the head. 3D! The Dudley Death Drop through that table. Wolfwood is busted open and it looks like nobody can help him.
Kaji: Where's Millie and Meryl? Jeez you'd think they would have been out here by now.
*Tank! starts to play*
Lina: What the hell?
Kaji: It's Jet Black and he's got Punisher.
Lina: Jet in the ring drops Punisher in the corner. Vash rushing in, Jet knocks Vash down with a hard left. He's got Rally by the hair and tosses her over the top rope. The two of them are exchanging blows on the outside. Vash starting to stir, so is Wolfwood. Vash to his feet, over to the corner. He's got Punisher. Wolfwood up, Vash misses a swing with Punisher.
Kaji: It's Millie, why is she covered in dust.
Lina: Millie Thompson to the ring with the stun gun. Vash knocks down Wolfwood with Punisher. Vash trying to open the straps. Now he's trying to bite them off. Millie with a stun gun shot knocks Punisher out of Vash's hands. Wolfwood's got Punisher, swings with it, Vash hit in the face he's dazed. Wolfwood sets it up in the corner. He's got Vash, Irish whip into the corner. Vash is dazed. Hooked up, reverse DDT. Cover count one two three. It's all over.
*Jet clotheslines Rally over the guardrail into the crowd*
Kaji: An impressive comeback by Wolfwood to beat Vash.
*Band starts to play HT*
Lina: Hell was unleashed in that ring as Wolfwood overcame the 3D through that table and shot to the rips with that baseball bat. Let's go to Miyuki in the ring with Wolfwood.
*In the ring*
Miyuki: Very impressive comeback Mr. Wolfwood.
Wolfwood: It wasn't a comeback I knew all along I was going to win and I did.
Miyuki: But when it was two on one you surely didn't think you'd pull it off did you.
Wolfwood: I had faith my friends would come through if need be.
Miyuki: Speaking of wish Jet why did you help out Wolfwood.
Jet: He's my friend and tag team partner, of course I'm going to help him out.
Miyuki: Any chance you two will try for tag team gold in the future.
Wolfwood: Maybe in the future but right now I'm just worried about who I'm going to be taking that AWF Mainstream belt from next card.
Miyuki: Okay thanks. Confident words from Wolfwood. Oh Millie.
Millie: Yes?
Miyuki: Why are you all dusty?
Millie: I had to crawl through an air vent the door in the locker room wouldn't open.
Miyuki: Why's that?
Millie: There was a big forklift blocking the door.
Miyuki: That'll do it. Okay back to you Lina.
*Booth*
Lina: Thanks Miyuki. Okay stay tunned it's the main events coming up. First it's a tag team battle as Ranma and Akane face off against the tag team champions Kei and Yuri.
Lina: So you made it through the undercard, and now it's time for the main events. First up Kei and Yuri are in their first defense of the AWF tag team titles against an exciting young tag team: Ranma Saotome and Akane Tendo.
Kaji: They're an impressive team Lina, in the tryouts for this card they mopped the floor with such established teams as Chocolate and Gateau, Kyoko and Godai and a former top contending team Shinji Ikari and Rei Ayanami.
Lina: They have a lot of potential and this could be a great match. Kei and Yuri have never lost a match in twenty years as a team.
Kaji: Hey wait a minute. Twenty years they don't look more than...
Lina: Don't say it.
Kaji: Well they don't.
Lina: Let's go to Tenchi Masaki down in the ring.
*Bell*
Tenchi: Ladies and gentlemen the next contest is for the AWF Tag Team titles.
*Don't Make Me Wild Like You starts to play*
Tenchi: Introducing first the challengers Akane Tendo and Ranma Saotome.
*Limitless Answer begins*
Tenchi: And their opponents, the Lovely Angels Kei and Yuri.
*Bell*
Lina: Girl type Ranma and Yuri facing off to start this match. Ranma goes for kick. Foot caught by Yuri. Dragon screw, snaps the ankle and sends Ranma right down the canvas.
Kaji: Not the way to start a match I'd say.
Lina: Yuri goes to the head and is pulling back on the chin. Ranma reaching for the ropes, but Yuri has a death grip on that chin. Akane in the ring with a stomp to back of...Ranma. Breaks the hold. Now she's nagging him...I mean her...I mean whatever.
Kaji: Asuka is admonishing Akane for entering the ring without a tag as Kei and Yuri double team Ranma. Kei and Yuri whip Ranma into the ropes. Coming off and into the vicious double clothesline.
Lina: Ranma is getting the boots put to him as Kei and Yuri stomp the chest. Asuka comes over and sends Yuri out of the ring. Kei a handful of hair. Ranma swinging wildely. As Kei tosses Ranma by the hair. Things are not looking good for Ranma.
Kaji: He needs to make a tag bad.
Lina: Ranma inching for Akane, but Kei's got the foot and is dragging him back to the opposite corner. Kei with the tag to Yuri. Yuri in the ring and picks up Ranma. Side supplex. Cover count. One two and a kick out.
Kaji: How'd he manage that?
Lina: Yuri with an Irish whip. Ranma hits the ropes. Blind tag. Akane is the legal team member, she's on the top rope with that mallet. Ranma takes a back body drop. Yuri caught off guard by that mallet strike. Kei into the ring. Akane with a hip toss and Kei goes through a table on the outside.
Kaji: Poor Otaki that's the third time keeper's table this week.
Lina: Akane picks up an unconcious Yuri. Big bodyslam onto the canvas. Cover count, one two three. Akane Tendo clears house as Ranma Saotome takes one for the team.
*Don't Make Me Wild Like You starts to play*
Tenchi: Here are your winners and new AWF Tag Team Champions Akane Tendo and Ranma Saotome.
Kaji: I'm impressed.
Lina: That they won?
Kaji: No that they actually made it through a match without killing each other.
*In the ring Akane slams a table onto a prone Ranma*
Lina: Ouch. Let's go to Miyuki at the scene.
*in the ring*
Miyuki: Akane why did you do that to your own partner?
*Akane storms past in a huff*
Miyuki: She is pissed. Let's ask Ranma. *gets into the ring* Ranma why did Akane slam a table onto you?
Ranma: (dazed) All I did was compliment her brute strength. *passes out*
Miyuki: Mystery solved I guess. Back to you Lina.
*Booth*
Kaji: When will that boy learn to keep his mouth shut. Never ever say cruel things to violent women. That's one thing I've learned from working with Lina. I...uh oh.
Lina: Better hit the books learning boy. Fireball *torches Kaji* We'll be back with Tamahome facing off against Nube.
Lina: We're back. It's time for the second of our four title matches as Nube challenges Tamahome for the AWF Underground title. Who do you think has the edge in this match Kaji?
Kaji: It's gotta be Tamahome, both competitors are strong willed and physically tough but Tamahome has the edge in fighting experience. Nube's just a goofball teacher who fights off the occasional demon.
Lina: Another in depth anaylisis from Ryoji Kaji. Let's go to Tenchi Masaki in the ring.
*In ring*
Tenchi: Ladies and gentlemen this contest is for the AWF Underground title.
*Star starts to play*
Tenchi: Introducing first from Hakko Village. Accompanied to the ring by Miaka Yuki, Tamahome.
Lina: Tamahome slides through the bottom rope. He's starting to warm up waiting for Nube to hit the ring. Nube through the crowd with a kendo stick. Tamahome doesn't see him coming. Nube snaps it over Tamahome's head. Tamahome is down. Nube cover count, one two and a kickout.
Kaji: Man his head is hard.
Lina: Tamahome with a rake of the eyes and a punch to the groin. Tamahome to his feet with vicious punches and kicks drive Nube into the ropes. Nube through the ropes. Miaka toweling off the sweat from Tamahome. The Asuka ordering Tamahome to get back to fighting. Nube into the ring with that damaged table from the tag match. He sets it up in the corner he's taking off that glove.
Kaji: That's the second largest demon hand I've ever seen.
Lina: What was the first?
Kaji: Eva one.
Lina: I see. Nube taps the shoulder of Tamahome and wraps that demon hand around Tamahome's throat. Picks him up and tosses him through the table on the other side of the ring. Cover, count, one two three.
Kaji: A new AWF Underground Champion.
Lina: Nube in his first title shot has beaten Tamahome. Miaka into the ring with a chair. Nube ducking a shot. Boot to the midsection and a DDT right onto the chair she dropped. Nube has handled Miaka Yuki and Tamahome single handedly. As he celebrates in ring we wonder what will happen as Himura Kenshin battles Keiichi Morisato for the AWF mainstream Title.
Kaji: Sorry to skip the introductions but it looks like the match has already started in the locker room area as Keiichi Morisato jumped Kenshin on his way to the ring.
Lina: Meanwhile we're trying to get a camera to the fighting so just stay patient.
Kaji: I never would have thought Keiichi the type to try an ambush.
Lina: Me neither. Wait we've got a camera in the back lot as Keiichi is being knocked around by Kenshin. Kenshin drawing the reverse blade sword. Strike to the ribs and Keiichi is down.
Kaji: He's going for a cover.
Lina: From behind it's Marron Glace with a chair shot to Kenshin's head.
Kaji: Oro?
Lina: Out of nowhere Marron Glace may have just given Keiichi the victory. Cover count, one two and a kickout by Kenshin. Keiichi slapping on a chokehold trying to keep Kenshin down. Kenshin will not be stopped he's getting to his feet. Marron stomping on Kenshin trying to keep him down but Kenshin is a man possessed he is on his feet. Pokes Keiichi in the eyes. Kick to the midsection of Marron Glace. DDT, Marron is out cold on the parking lot floor. Kenshin kicks Keiichi in the stomach. Jack knife powerbomb on the blacktop. Cover count, one two three. It's all over.
Kaji: We've got another new champion!
Lina: Himura Kenshin has beaten Marron Glace and Keiichi Morisato to capture the Mainstream title. Stay tunned it's double jeopardy next as Duo Maxwell, Gendo Ikari, Kuroneko, and Ryo-Ohki all face off for the AWF World Title. Who will win? Who will lose? And just what the hell is a double jeopardy match? Find out next.
Lina: Originally we had announced this match as a four way dance. It was supposed to be all four competitors in the ring at one time. But that was too simple for Spike Spiegel so he went to the big book of gimmick matchs and has decided to make this a double jeopardy match. Kaji explain what a double jeopardy match is.
Kaji: In a double jeopardy match the competitors are paired up. They can only pin the one they've been paired with, you can still interfere with the other wrestlers. When the first two matches are settled then the two remaining wrestlers battle it out, winner gets the title.
Lina: As you know by now our competitor's are Gendo Ikari, Duo Maxwell, Kuroneko, Ryo-Ohki and Kuroneko. Here's the brackets for the first round. It's Gendo and Kuroneko facing off. And Duo has to face down Ryo-Ohki. Let's go to the ring where the competitor's are ready for things to start.
*Bell*
Lina: Everyone turns to Ryo-Ohki. Duo and Gendo team up and put all their weight on the cabbit. Cover, count one two three. Ryo-Ohki is out of here as Duo goes to sit in the corner.
Kaji: That was kind of cheap.
Lina: Well I think at this point everyone is sick of Ryo-Ohki winning with that mecha cabbit thing. So this eliminates the problem. It's Gendo and Kuroneko facing off right now. Gendo goes for a tackle but Kuroneko sidesteps. Claw to the face of Gendo. Gendo with a poke to the eye. Picks up Kuroneko, drops back for a punt. It's a high floater as Kuroneko brushes the ceiling of the gym. Gendo to the outside with plenty of time, sets up a table. Kuroneko falls onto the table. Gendo off the top rope drive Kuroneko through that table.
Kaji: Ouch that has gotta hurt.
Lina: Cover, count one two and a kickout. Duo tosses Gendo a chair. Gendo with a chair shot to Kuroneko. This could be it.
*Lights go out*
Kaji: Hey I thought we were in Japan not California.
Lina: What the hell?
*Lights come back up*
Lina: Shinji Ikari in the ring with Heero Yui, Shinji with that kendo stick nails a shot to the head of Gendo. He's down and out. Heero rushes Duo with a chair. Duo try to fight him off. Meanwhile Kuroneko with a cover, count one two three. Gendo is out of it. Heero still chasing Duo with that chair. Shinji swings with the kendo stick. He hit Heero, he's out cold. Duo's got the chair. Tosses it to Shinji. Superkick!
Kaji: Through the chair even.
Lina: I can't believe it. Picks up Kuroneko, corkscrew DDT. Cover, Carrot Glace counting one two three. New champion.
Kaji: He cleaned house the house.
*Bell*
*Rhythm Emotion starts to play*
Tenchi: Here is you're winner, and new AWF World Champion Duo Maxwell.
*In the booth*
Lina: An impressive victory as the alliance of Heero, Shinji and Kuroneko fail to pull off the victory here.
Kaji: Four title matches and four times the belt changed hands. That's quite a turnover rate.
Lina: Yeah, well what will happen next month? We'll find out as we go to Spike Spiegel for his post event press conference.
*In the press room*
Spike: It's at this time I'd like to announce what our main event for the next PPR will be. Duo Maxwell will face Heero Yui in an exploding ring match.
Reporter: Sir why not a rematch with Gendo and Duo?
Spike: Gendo will have his hands full with a shot at Himura Kenshin in a special tables match.
Reporter: What about Shinji sir, will he have a match?
Spike: Shinji will face a mystery opponent in a No holds barred contest. Thank you.
*Spike leaves*
Lina: You heard it hear first Duo vs. Heero for the first time, see you at the next card. Say good night Kaji.
Kaji: What?
Lina: Good night folks.