A new enemy....

At New York's Kennedy airport today, an individual, later discovered to be a public school teacher, was arrested trying to board a flight while in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a setsquare, a slide rule, and a calculator.

At a morning press conference, Attorney General John Ashcroft said he believes the man is a member of the notorious 'Al-ge-Bra' movement.
He is being charged by the FBI with carrying weapons of math instruction.

"Al-ge-Bra is a fearsome cult," Ashcroft said.
"They desire average solutions by means and extremes, and sometimes go off on tangents in a search of absolute value.

They use secret code names like "x" and "y" and refer to themselves as "unknowns," but we have determined they belong to a common denominator of the axis of medieval with coordinates in every country. "As the Greek philanderer Isosceles used to say, there are 3 sides to every triangle," Ashcroft declared.

When asked to comment on the arrest, President Bush said, "If God had wanted us to have better weapons of math instruction, He would have given us more fingers and toes.


ruler...定規
protractor...分度器
setsquare...三角定規
slide rule...計算尺
calculator...計算機
Al-ge-Bra(algebra)...代数(学)
tangent...タンジェント、正接
go off on tangents...話を脇道｛わきみち｝へ［に］そらせる
absolute value...絶対値
common denominator...共通分母、共通項(要素)
axis...(座標の)軸
medieval...中世風の、古めかしい
coordinate...座標
isosceles...(三角形)が二等辺の
philanderer...女たらし、浮気者
( a man who has sex with many woman, without intending to have any serious relationships)

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