**um…don't quote me on the "Lucy Ann" stuff…I just made it up for the purpose of the story

A Phone Number in the Trash

It is one week after Carol decides to go to Seattle to see Doug (after Such Sweet Sorrow). They are in Doug's house; Carol is at Doug's computer while he's in the washroom taking a shower. She finishes playing a game of Yahoo! Hearts, and logs off. Carol reaches over the desk to grab another cookie from the package she'd started earlier that day, and by accident, knocks a pen onto the ground. She bends down and picks it up, but her eyes are focused on a piece of paper in the trash. A telephone number is scrawled on it, in very feminine writing. "LucyAnn 555-6462" Carol reads.
Her heart starts beating rapidly, a million thoughts race through her head. Why does Doug have a woman's number in the trash? Has he already called her? Has he already committed it to memory? Does he not need to look at the sheet anymore? Carol tries to calm herself; the usual deep breathing isn't working. No…I trust Doug. There must be a reason for the phone number to be in the trash. Sure, Doug could've gotten the phone number, but he's so good-looking, it's normal for women to give an attractive man their number. He probably threw it out the moment he got home. Yeah, that must've been what Doug had done. Alright Carol, breathe. Everything's fine. Doug loves you… Carol closes her eyes, and starts to relax. But she tenses up a moment later, disturbed by contradictory thoughts. But why would he even have the number in the first place? He could've just refused, and said he was involved already. He could've done that……
But it's been a year already since he left Chicago. A whole year is plenty of time to meet new women…
Carol blinks back her tears, and struggles to push all the speculation out of her mind. She's here in Seattle now, and finally with Doug again. I shouldn't worry about anything. I should be happy…
She decides to keep the phone number for later, just in case something comes up. Picking up the piece of paper, Carol hears Doug coming out of the washroom, so she quickly shoves it in her pocket and brushes her sleeve across her eyes. Ok Carol, act normal. Act normal.
Before she can tell herself again to act normal, Doug's arms are around her, and he's hugging her.
"God, Carol, I've missed you so much," he says, sincerity in his voice.
Carol's heart melts. She's really in love with him. "I missed you too, Doug. I'm so sorry it took me so long to come." She hugs him tightly and just sits there, not moving.
"No, it's not your fault. It's mine. I should've come back. It's just that…you told me not to come, and although I really wanted to see you and the girls, I didn't. Cause I didn't want to go against what you asked me to do. I mean, I didn't know how you'd react, and I didn't want you to feel pressured to coming with me to Seattle with the girls, so…I just left messages on your answering machine. I'm so sorry, Carol. It's my fault. I can't believe it's been a whole year." Doug says, taking her hand and leading her to the couch. They sit there, in peace.
"I love you," Carol says, resting against Doug.
"I love you too," Doug says. He kisses her forehead softly, and closes his eyes.

During the next two days, Doug shows Carol around Seattle. He brings her to Seattle General Hospital and meets his colleagues, and afterwards, they drive around the city. It's the happiest they've both been for a long time.
Back at Doug's house, they're sitting on the porch, looking along the lake at the sunset. They're drinking Carol's special coffee, and just relaxing.
"Doug, remember the time I gave you your own drawer after work?"
"Yeah…We were sitting on the porch, looking at the stars. We said it was something new…"
Carol smiles. "You still remember that."
Doug looks at her looking at the sky, and grins. "You know what? I love sitting out here on the porch with you. It's….."
Carol giggles, playing along with Doug. "It's something new…"
Doug says, "Something new…"
They kiss, and continue talking about their good times together.

The next night, Doug takes Carol out for a walk. As they walk, hand in hand, Carol thinks about how happy she's been the past few days here with Doug. He's been so wonderful, just like he was back in Chicago. He couldn't possibly have had anything with that Lucy Ann girl, could he?
She squeezes his hand tighter, and they stop walking. She leans in to kiss him, and for that moment, all doubt in her mind disappears.
Reluctantly pulling away, Doug knows there is something he has to say to Carol. Taking a deep breath, he says, "Carol, I just want you to know that while we were apart, I--I never once looked at a woman. Not the way I look at you…Not with all the love I look at you with… I never touched any women, never kissed anyone, never slept with anyone. I didn't do anything unfaithful to you, Carol. And I never once considered the fact that you might've been unfaithful to me, cause I trusted you. I know you…" Doug pauses, not knowing how to express himself with words. I…uh I'm horrible with words, aren't I, Carol? But you get what I'm saying right? He brushes a lock of hair out of her face. I love you so much…
After hearing all that Doug has just said, Carol suddenly remembers Luka…
"Oh god, Doug, I'm so sorry… " she bursts out. "I'm so sorry, I don't deserve you, I-- " Looking into his eyes for a moment, she tears herself away from him and runs away. Doug is bewildered and chases her. But she catches a taxi and he watches sorrowfully as it drives away quickly. After standing on the sidewalk for half an hour in confusion and sadness, Doug recovers and goes home. He checks the rooms but doesn't see Carol. Hanging his head and wandering around the house, he eventually settles on the couch and turns the tv on. What did I do wrong? I must've said something wrong. What made Carol apologize? I don't think she'd done anything wrong…Why does she think she doesn't deserve me? If it's anything, I don't deserve her. I was the one who left her in Chicago………I'm sorry I left you, Carol… Doug's worries and guilt are eating him up inside.
Carol doesn't return for the next few hours, and Doug tries to stay awake waiting for her, to no avail. In the morning, when Doug wakes up, he finds a note on the table from Carol.

Dear Doug,
I'm here in the living room, watching you sleep, and I'm so sorry about running away from you earlier. But I'm feeling even more sorry and guilty about something I had done. I guess I should explain everything, and I owe you an apology.
Doug, I kissed another man, but only a few times. After the twins were born, he was a great help, and a great friend. When he first kissed me, I guess I didn't feel as lonely. He could never measure up to you, though. I was still in love with you.
We didn't do anything more than kiss. And I didn't even put my heart into it, Doug. We didn't date, hold hands, he wasn't my boyfriend…I didn't sleep with him. I swear, I didn't. Please believe me.
I know I'm the one that's been unfaithful to you, and I can't tell you how sorry I am. I really don't deserve you, Doug, I really don't. And if you can't look at me without feeling angry, or betrayed, or hurt, then I'll understand. I love you though, with all my heart.
How could I have been so stupid? Oh god, I'm so sorry, Doug.
Love forever, Carol

Doug is shattered, but he still finds it in his heart to forgive Carol, because of several things. After all, he was the one who left her. And also, Carol said that all she and that Luka guy did was kiss several times. They hadn't slept together, or held hands or anything. Doug was relieved about that. I can't blame her for any of that. I mean, I wasn't there for her pregnancy. She had the right to take interest in other guys I guess. I…can't blame her…and I won't. The important thing is that she's here in Seattle with me. But if only she'd come back. I miss her already.
He goes to the backyard for some fresh air and finds Carol sleeping uncomfortably on the porch chair. His heart aches. Carol, why did you sleep out here? My beautiful Carol… He carefully takes Carol in his arms, and brings her to the bedroom. After he pulls the blanket over her, he lays there beside her, just watching her sleep. You're so beautiful. Doug sighs when he sees how tired she looks. A minute later, Carol shifts her body, and Doug hears a noise--like paper crinkling. He spots a piece of paper in her jacket pocket, and carefully takes it out. It's Lucy Ann's phone number. Didn't he throw that away? How would Carol have it?
Carol wakes up, and takes a moment to groggily determine where she is. Where am I?…Wait…Doug's room? Turning and seeing Doug, she immediately tries getting out of the bed. But Doug sees her, and holds her back, with surprising gentleness.
"Carol…please listen." He sounds as though he's begging her.
Carol notices this and her heart aches. No, Doug, don't sound like you're begging me. Please don't…None of this is your fault. I'm sorry, Doug…She says nothing, but instead she faces the wall.
"I--I read your note. And about you…and that Luka guy." Doug sees Carol lower her head at the mention of his name. "I'm not mad at you, contrary to what you might think, Carol. I'm not mad. I was disappointed and sad when I finished reading your note, I'll admit that though. But--"
"Be mad, Doug. Be mad at me. Kick me out of your house. I can go back to Chicago if I'm not welcomed here," Carol says, interrupting. She doesn't want him to continue talking, for fear that he really won't forgive her. She turns toward the wall.
"Look at me Carol. Look at me and talk. Talk to me, Carol, not the wall." Doug turns her around, and sees that she's crying.
Seeing her cry is breaking his heart, and he takes her in his arms and hugs her warmly, not letting go. "Sssh…don’t cry, it’s alright. Ssshh…..I’m sorry for speaking harshly." He strokes her hair soothingly.
Carol can’t stop crying as she thinks about how she has betrayed Doug. She buries her face in his neck and weeps, holding him closer, her arms around his neck and her hand on the back of his head. "Doug…" she whispers in anguish.
Her tears land on his neck, but he doesn’t care. Lifting her face away from him momentarily, Doug wipes her tears. "Don’t cry," he says, kissing her cheeks, her ears, her forehead gently. Hugging her again, he speaks into her ear, softly, lovingly. "I’m not mad at you, Carol. How can I be mad at you? I was sad, after reading your note. I was. But I thought it through and now I’m alright with it. I mean, so what if you shared a few kisses? It's not like I've never done that to you while we were together……But all that matters is that we’re here together, finally. Nothing else matters to me, Carol. If I can be with you, I’m the happiest man alive."
Carol is touched by his words, and whispers back into his ear, "I didn’t mean to hurt you like that, Doug. I’m so sorry. When I spent time with Luka, all I could think about was you. In my heart, I knew that I would never be with him. I guess when I let him kiss me, I just wanted to get over that feeling of loneliness, that feeling of not being wanted. Cause when you left for Seattle, I just felt like I wasn’t good enough for you to stay. It hurt my pride and for the longest time I was miserable because I just wanted you to stay for me. So I guess my guard wasn’t up, and Luka and I just started talking, as friends only, though. I guess it made me feel less lonely, just a bit. He was a great help with the girls, but…but he could never take your place, cause I knew I was still in love with you, so I came here because I wanted to find out if you were still in love with me…But--"
"I am. I’m so in love with you, Carol. I am…..I love you so much. Please believe me."
"I---But what about Lu---L---" she stammers.
Doug can read her mind, and says reassuringly and truthfully, "Lucy Ann isn't some woman I met at a bar, Carol. She's my stepmother. Since my dad died, she's been trying to get a hold of me so she could give me some of his stuff. She lives right here in Seattle."
Carol's goes limp, and says, "Stepmother? Oh Doug, I thought that…Oh god, what’ve I done? I don’t------I'm so sorry, I should've trusted you, I…" She doesn't know what to say, or how to apologize to him.
"She's a sweet lady, and bakes great cakes. But I'm sure as hell not going to leave you for her, Carol. Don't worry about that," Doug says, smiling.
The corners of her mouth turn upwards, but she dares not smile. She feels guilty. "How….? Can you ever forgive me, Doug? I’ve been so horrible…" Carol says, shaking her head. "But I love you…"
"If you promise to stay with me and continue loving me, I’ll forgive you," Doug says, pretending to be stern, but unable to keep a straight face when he looks at her.
Carol smiles, and nods. Then she leans in to Doug, touching his cheek. "I can't believe it's been a whole year. Time just flies by."
"You better believe it. But from now on, our time together will be forever."
And they both draw closer for a tender, passionate kiss that seals their future together.

Carol had been wrong about the phone number in the trash. But she was glad she'd been wrong, just this once.